kani

@kani@sopuli.xyz

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kani,

Mulla on muutama tämmönen tullu sähköpostissa ja naureskelin kun en enää asu Suomessa että siinähän maksan tullit väärään maahan.

kani,

They call it pop here in North-East of England as well.

kani,

Stimulate me but don’t over stimulate me, maybe?

kani,

I work in a care home. I also have that thought every single day.

What are your "favorite" chores and how did you make them ADHD-friendly?

I’ll start! I invested in a cordless vacuum, primarily because it came with a pet hair accessory but turns out, I love to use it for a quick dopamine hit! Getting a room or two to look clean-ish without the commitment of finding an outlet and dragging a chunky vaccum across the room is a massive help!

kani,

I enjoy washing dishes, but only once I’ve started or when I don’t have to do it… So I try and trick myself into thinking I’ll just wash a few things, half-assing something is better than not doing it at all, right? I end up usually washing most or all of it anyway. I can do it scatterbrained, like wash some, dry some, put some away, wash a few more. I don’t have to focus on just washing. And I’ll sing along to the radio and look through the kitchen window and see what the dog is doing.

I also put the dish washing liquid into a pump dispenser and inside the handle of the dish sponge to make the process easier.

kani,

That’s true, best to use it in oxy-powder/stain-remover form that’s been formulated for fabrics and so you can get one for whites and one for colours. Should work for pretty much all of these stains.

kani,

I’ve heard good things about thundershirts (weighted coats to make them feel cuddled) and happy hoodies (tube hat to cover their ears). My sister tried a thundershirt for her puppy that was afraid of thunder and it helped quite a bit.

kani,

I am managing and kind of not managing really. Recently quit smoking and vaping and went off coffee so my brain has been a bit frazzled. But it’s getting back to normal.

Biggest help is working longer hours but fewer days and having my shift segmented so that I get downtime between busy hours. I do three days a week and on a workday don’t pressure myself to do any housework. On my days off I’ll catch up on sleep and housework.

I also have a diagnosis for autism so to me it seems like I can manage some symptoms of my ADHD easier thanks to ASD. But I also then seek a simple life and don’t do anything much besides work and looking after my dog and my partner. I’ll go out when I’m on holiday.

kani,

Hmm, struggling to think of the biggest positive at the moment since I’m feeling quite low. I guess the connection I have with my autistic partner feels so much more rewarding when I get misunderstood so often.

The worst part for me has to do with the combination of rejection sensitivity, the anxiety it causes and how it’s given me low confidence that I’m trying to build up. After feeling confident for quite awhile I’ve had a bit of dent on it and now it feels so much harder to get up again.

kani,

We have our arguments as well but we’ve gotten a lot better at arguing, now we can sort of pull back and express how we feel about the issue, not that the other person must be wrong for disagreeing.

And you’re right, I would’ve had a lot bigger dent on that confidence before and now instead of wallowing in it for ages I’ve grown angry cause I know I’ve not been treated right.

I’ve slowly built up confidence working with people and being more social and felt like my feelings and opinions were respected, but then had them outright ignored. I don’t know if I’m still bitter thinking that a coworker I thought of as a friend is less so a friend but at the same time it’s given me a push to apply for jobs higher up in my career since I don’t need to feel like I’m leaving my friends behind. I’ve been thinking I need another year before I’d feel confident enough to train to be a nurse rather than a carer but I might just find out if I can start sooner.

DAE want to just throw out all the stuff?

...but at the same time want to hold on to useless stuff or hobby stuff you don't have the energy to do. I feel like if I didn't have so much stuff I wouldn't have all the clutter to make me feel anxious, like there's just so much stuff. I have a very small wardrobe (well, boxes of clothes since I haven't had the energy to go an...

kani,
  1. Interrupt them
  2. Get really excited about the topic
  3. Trip over your words
  4. Try and wrap up to not scare/bore them
  5. Realise what you said made no sense
  6. Apologise
kani,

Then sometimes you just wanted to ask what something means and your partner is so used to you asking them to repeat they repeat what they said and no w everyone is confused.

kani,

Mie ku asun ulkomailla nii varmaa laittaa juhannustoivotuksia viestillä Suomeen. Ei ny mitää erikoisempii suunnitelmii kuitenkaa. Lämmintä säätä luvannu loppuviikolle eikä töitäkää sit lauantaiaamun jälkeen nii varmaan tossa takapihalla tulee istuttua auringossa, koiraa jos veis lenkille ennenku tulee liian kuuma.

kani,

To be honest I'm not a native English speaker so your advice is probably more useful anyway. My husband is British and has studied plenty of languages, finding Swedish and Norwegian definitely the easiest to pick up. Romance languages have more complicated grammar but you'll find a lot more TV and movies to watch to casually pick up a bit more of the language, which I find useful because I only speak English as well as I do from watching a lot of TV (first with subs) when I was younger.

kani,

Some from recent memory:

  • Real Humans (Äkta Människor) tv show, I liked the UK version a bit more
  • Young Royals, tv show about a young gay prince
  • Don't Ever Wipe Tears Without Gloves, a heartbreaking miniseries dealing with Aids epidemic
  • Raspberry Boat Refugee, a movie about a Finnish man who believes he should've been born Swedish
  • Glowing Stars, a movie about a girl looking after her mom who has cancer
  • Stormkärs Maja, a miniseries on the hard life on a tiny island
  • Roy Andersson Also has a lot of fun absurdist comedies
  • Also movies/miniseries based on Astrid Lindgren books are sweet and nostalgic and despite being aimed for children

I think those might be easy enough to find online depending on where you look.

kani,

Which is especially weird considering the recent news regarding private ADHD clinics and whether it's too easy to get a diagnosis privately in the UK. Similarly I have a diagnosis for ASD from Finland but have had a therapist say she didn't think I was autistic, so if I can't then discuss that in a very large and popular subreddit where should I go. It all seems rather silly.

kani, (edited )

Aww reminds me of my pup, sometimes I look at her and wonder what even is a spine lol.

kani,

I’ve got a good memory, but talking with my partner he will often say “I told you this before” and it’s just completely gone over my head cause I’ve been slightly distracted. I’ll be listening but things don’t seem to register and it’s worse when I’m distracted by the fact that I am having to put so much effort into listening. Edit: typo

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