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smeg, in Bishop quits job and apologises after 'all-male orgy in rectory goes wrong'

The individual is claimed to have recovered in hospital and later discharged himself

A shame he wasn’t able to discharge himself during the orgy, but glad the story had a happy ending.

Blapoo,

A+

Gold star

No notes

butter, in Woman mauled to death posted video of her dancing with XL bully to song saying 'I don't 'give a f***' about the breed being banned

If anyone is has no idea what that means, XL bully is a type of dog.

This might be common knowledge, but I’ve never heard of it.

NigelFrobisher,

It’s not a rapper then?

Thorny_Insight,

Sounds like a Bad Dragon dildo

Hundun,

Thank you, I thought they were referring to one of my former classmates.

AFKBRBChocolate,

From Wikipedia:

The XL Bully was responsible for 10 of the 19 deaths caused by dogs in the UK in the period between 2021 and 2023, and in December 2023, the UK Government added the breed to the Dangerous Dogs Act 1991, making it illegal to sell, breed, abandon or have a Bully XL in public without a lead and muzzle in England and Wales.[5]

image

blackn1ght,

It’s such an ugly breed, I’ve no idea what owners see it in.

FragrantOwl,
@FragrantOwl@lemmy.world avatar

They see the power they themselves lack.

FunderPants, (edited )

That dog is so angry looking, like it walks on its own fists, and does pushups.

AFKBRBChocolate,

And that one is in the Wikipedia page because it’s a champion, meaning a great representative of its breed.

Delphia,

“Ate da catz, 'Ate da postman, 'Ate da neyborz kidz. Simple Az.”

That dog looks like it should have an Ankle bracelet, a thick gold chain and be wearing stolen Nikes.

late_night,
@late_night@sopuli.xyz avatar
PrettyFlyForAFatGuy,

“Oink!”

TwoBeeSan,
HEXN3T, in Zoo defends ‘panda’ exhibit after criticism for using dogs dyed black and white
@HEXN3T@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar
The_Che_Banana,

am panda…come give bamboo lol

ivanafterall,
ivanafterall avatar

They're such majestic creatures.

PlantDadManGuy,

Ah yes the rare and beautiful North African meat eating lizard pandas…

Daxtron2, in Woman mauled to death posted video of her dancing with XL bully to song saying 'I don't 'give a f***' about the breed being banned

Owning a dog bred for its lack of remorse when fighting and huge muscles is a winning combo for a Darwin award.

Delphia,

I get the mindset for these people. Their dog is probably never going to go nuts and maul someone, the vast majority will never go nuts and maul someone, it’s your big good boi! Its not the animals fault it literally has been bred to be a killer, you didnt train it like that, thats not the environment it lives in… and yeah thats all true but when it goes wrong it goes spectacularly wrong and people die.

Its like people who have pet bears or big cats, like… yeah all the positives and all but its absolutely equipped to kill the fuck out of you should the mood strike it.

Emperor, in Scientists claim to have successfully ‘conversed’ with a whale
@Emperor@feddit.uk avatar

How’s the old search for extraterrestrial life going?

Badly.

Well how about, and hear me out now, we go and talk to some whales.

Oh, do we understand what they say?

Well no, but we get out of the lab and mess about in boats.

SacralPlexus,

Where do I sign up?

snooggums,
@snooggums@midwest.social avatar

The pier.

Emperor,
@Emperor@feddit.uk avatar

You don’t sign up you get abducted.

Beetschnapps,

Why are you so eager for this? Why keep desperately clamoring for this?

over_clox, in Electric spoon that makes food taste saltier goes on sale in Japan

Excess sodium bad. Lick metallic electric spoon good?

Emperor,
@Emperor@feddit.uk avatar

This guy electric spoons.

Xyz, in Man builds Eiffel Tower model with 700,000 matchsticks over eight years only to have world record rejected
@Xyz@infosec.pub avatar

Yep, that’s lame but at the same time - If you’re going to start a project like this… Maybe you should be aware of the rules first? It’s hard to feel bad when the guy didn’t bother doing the most basic research before starting or even at some point near the beginning of the build.

It doesn’t matter if the rules are stupid or difficult. You do what they want and you get what you want. It’s the same conversation I have with a 12 year old regarding his chores and play time.

hydrospanner,

I still think it’s bullshit in this case.

Honestly, Guinness is a shitty outfit when it comes to the records, and they shouldn’t be considered the final word on things, but they have the name recognition.

Bonehead,

Considering it started out as a bar bet, no one should take Guinness world records without a huge grain of salt.

BarrelAgedBoredom,

You can also just buy world records from them. You don’t necessarily have to do anything. I could get the record for being the world’s most special boy right now so long as I whip out the checkbook

littlebluespark,
@littlebluespark@lemmy.world avatar

Little known fact. ☝🏼

I was part of a world record charity event that technically succeeded (not doxxing myself, heh), but simply because we wouldn’t pay them “$15k +$2k per sponsor/corp donation” (well over $70k from a tiny 501c3‽), they ignored the achievement. It was covered by a number of media sources and was a resounding success for the communities it benefited, so we’re suitably proud of our accomplishment.

Guinness can choke on a bag of rotted dicks.

BarrelAgedBoredom,

Yeah they’re not a great company, shame they tried to extort a charity like that. At least y’all got what you wanted/needed from the ordeal!

Bob_Robertson_IX,

I hold the record for the largest grain of salt.

Emperor,
@Emperor@feddit.uk avatar

Considering the McWhirters were politically… suspect (my Dad always called him Norris the Naxi), I’d suggest you need a huge pinch of huge grains.

twinnie,

I’m sure he read them but didn’t think too much about that one because he was planning on buying them commercially. It’s an easy mistake to make.

query, in Man says police officer had no right to pull him over because she’s on OnlyFans

If that’s what makes you lose respect for police officers, you haven’t been paying attention.

Emperor, in Man says police officer had no right to pull him over because she’s on OnlyFans
@Emperor@feddit.uk avatar

“You can’t arrest me no more; I’ve seen your private parts.”

I don’t think it’ll stand up in court.

unreachable,
@unreachable@lemmy.world avatar

I don’t think it’ll stand up in court.

maybe not, but it surely stand up last night in the guy bedroom

xilliah,

Maybe they’ll show her onlyfans in court and then it just might.

Kolanaki, in Scientists claim to have successfully ‘conversed’ with a whale
@Kolanaki@yiffit.net avatar

I said “woof” and my dog looked at me and started wagging his tail and replied “woof” back. I don’t know what we said, but I think we may have made contact.

Fedizen,

I said meow to my cat and it mewed back at me. We have made contact

Shou,

Just pet a sheep and his tail started wagging. He wanted more scritches behind the ears.

elxeno,

Did he pass your message to the aliens?

Aussiemandeus,
@Aussiemandeus@aussie.zone avatar

Mine ahwoos and I awhoo back then they ahwoo and it’s food time.

I’m certain after several years, ahwoo means “I’m excited to see you and for you to feed me”

OfCourseNot,
@OfCourseNot@fedia.io avatar

My dog and I have some 'conversations' of sorts:
Me: starts getting ready to go out
Dog: up nods [Oi!]
Me: up nods back [What?]
Dog: up nods again [Are we going for a walk?]
Me: down nods [Yes!]
Dog: starts sneezing and getting exited [Fuck yeah!]
Or:
Me: nopes with the head No darling, I'm going to work :'(
Dog: gets closer and lays against me [oh no! Pleassseee! Look how cute I am..]

2deck,
@2deck@lemmy.world avatar

I played a recording of myself saying hello to myself. I have made contact.

Infynis, in AI priest quickly defrocked after giving users oddball answers, taking confessions like ‘real’ clergyman
@Infynis@midwest.social avatar

Maybe we’re looking at this wrong. An AI priest probably knows the Bible better than any real clergyman, and can’t molest children either. I think we should defrock all the real priests, and keep him instead

Emperor,
@Emperor@feddit.uk avatar

OK, I could get behind this idea.

massive_bereavement,
massive_bereavement avatar

So the Gatorade baptism is a go or no go?

baldingpudenda,

Only red for the symbolism of the blood of christ

Grimy,

That color can be found in a rainbow and would lead to offense. Good Christians only use the white Gatorade, coconut flavor.

I_am_10_squirrels,

It’s a go, but only Glacier Freeze

Infynis,
@Infynis@midwest.social avatar

Nice try, officer

taiyang,

Can’t molest children yet. I’m sure some AI clergy can at least psychologically scar folks, especially if they know the full Bible, including the old testament.

TropicalDingdong, in Mystery smell reported across regions of Russia and Finland

Purely anecdotal, but a time ago we got some chantrelles through foraging. We’ve foraged for chantrelles for years, no issues. This year had been a big year, came home with maybe 25-30 lbs of chantrelles. Very good meaty chantrelles. Pickled, fried and frozen in butter, you name it. Chantrelles for weeks.

However, after our first meal, the entire house began having a phenomena where all of our poops smelled acutely like burning rubber/ burnt hair. This did not end when we stopped eating the chantrelles, and in fact has lasted for years, almost decades afterwords. Immediately afterwords it was every movement that smelled of burnt rubber/ burnt hair. Now they are relatively occasional, unless its a meal of chantrelles, in which case, its as if the event happened for the first time. I’m convinced we all experienced a shift in our gut microbiome.

I can imagine precisely what the smell they are describing smells like, and there is so much complexity we don’t understand around ECM/ fungi/ plant relationships. Things like lobster mushrooms or bacterial/ fungal pathogens. Decaying permafrost and or the microbial processes that come with it.

Synnr,

While that’s strange in your case (aren’t chanterelles one of the guys you have to cook very thoroughly or they’re neuro/cardiotoxic?) they’ve been monitoring the air for particulate and haven’t found anything dangerous, but it wouldn’t hurt to shoot an email off to a funguy-ologist in the region to see if they think it has merit, and can contact the relevant authorities if that’s the case. Then you win the ego game if it turns out that’s what it was.

hydroptic,

Nah, chantarelles aren’t poisonous. You may be thinking of G. esculenta which have to be parboiled several times for them to be edible.

AmosBurton_ThatGuy,
@AmosBurton_ThatGuy@lemmy.ca avatar

Who tf looks at a disgusting brain shaped mushroom and tries to eat it? God damn I’d rather starve than eat something that looks like that.

Then again I do have an unnatural hatred for all mushrooms. Disgusting little things.

clover,

Amos Burton prefers algae to mushrooms.

hydroptic,

Funny that you’re getting downvoted for not liking mushrooms.

I personally love 'em but they can definitely look pretty freaky and they can be pretty slimy too after rain or in moist environments. Acquired taste for sure.

As to who the fuck in their right mind eats poisonous brain shaped mushrooms, it’s mostly us weirdos in the northeastern parts of Europe, especially Finland and Russia. The English Wikipedia’s a bit wrong about poisonings caused by G. esculenta being common in Scandinavia though; pretty much the only ones eating them around these parts are us Finns and we’re not even Scandinavian (which only encompasses Sweden, Norway and Denmark), and the last known fatal poisonings caused by it are from 1953 and 1949 – both caused by a child accidentally eating unprepared mushrooms – and there’s only been a few mild cases in the past 20 years, at least a couple of them involving tourists who tried to prepare them themselves. I don’t think Swedes or Norwegians really eat them very often, but I dunno about Danes.

Synnr,

The ones I’m thinking of grow on the rot inside birch trees and are hard, not slimy, and very slow growing so You’re only supposed to sustainably take every 3rd one you come across. And if they’re on a different tree, not birch, that’s when the issues arise with toxicity. I am picturing it right now I just can’t think of the name.

hydroptic, (edited )

Ahh right. Then it’s probably one of the polypores, but there’s a looooot of them.

jordanlund, in The Biggest Crabs In the World May Have Eaten Amelia Earhart
@jordanlund@lemmy.world avatar
Beardwin,

Fuck me it’s 1 mutation away from being a Facehugger.

DrSleepless,

Thanks for the nightmare fuel

Emperor,
@Emperor@feddit.uk avatar

OK, that’s the size comparison I didn’t know I needed.

StrongHorseWeakNeigh,

TBF, I think that’s a small trash can but that’s still a big ass crab

InEnduringGrowStrong, in Vietnamese man experiencing severe headaches for 5 months discovers chopsticks in his brain
@InEnduringGrowStrong@sh.itjust.works avatar

Sometimes I think I’m having a bad day, but then I realize I don’t have chopsticks up my brain.

Emperor,
@Emperor@feddit.uk avatar

He didn’t think he had either.

InEnduringGrowStrong,
@InEnduringGrowStrong@sh.itjust.works avatar

True.
But Im fairly sure I haven’t recently been drunk enough not to remember having chopstick forcefully inserted up my nose and into my brain.
Then again, I guess nothing is ever 100% certain.

Scrof,

It’s the chopsticks messing with your memory!

InEnduringGrowStrong,
@InEnduringGrowStrong@sh.itjust.works avatar

Oh shit you might be right.
Maybe the doctors also have some, which would explain them not noticing.
What if it’s chopsticks all the way down

smeg, in Third Thumb: People have no difficulty getting to grips with an extra thumb, study finds
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