Yesterday I got author copies of my most recent book, a collection of short stories titled Where Rivers Go To Die. They look lovely and the red tones make me want to change my favourite colour from blue to red. You can find yourself a copy of this book on online stores.
These are stories I've written over twenty years, since the earliest I first wrote circa 2003-4
Q. "I'm obviously not into #Barbie, but…" "I never thought I would watch Barbie, but…" "…I can watch ironically…"
You're not my friend. Go away.
Q. "I find meta humour tiring, will I still enjoy the movie?"
For me it didn't grate at all. The meta is an intentionally heavy-handed pastiche—the movie opens with a narrator explaining how by empowering women to be anything Barbies have solved all problems of feminism forever; hijinks ensue—and it does feel defensive at times, like they have to forestall the tired criticisms of Barbie haters. But I think the reason I wasn't bothered by it is that there's no ironic distancing; the director is fully embracing all the absurdities of what is Barbie while still writing a love letter, you can feel from actors, costume/set designers, everyone, that this is a work of love, that their hearts are into it.
Q. "Is it all just a giant commercial ad?"
Well obviously. It's a self-aware ad, which is how smart advertising does it these days. There are layers to this—the portrayal of Mattel as an endearingly evil megacorporation defuses real criticisms, kinda like Disney's Uncle Scrooge, yet you can feel the director sneaking some real venom into the commodified criticism.
Q. "Is the #Barbiecore as good as it looks on the trailers?"
This is one of the most beautiful movies I've ever watched. It's all CGI-free, done with real giant dollhouse sets, mechanical cartoon waves in handmade beaches etc., and what a good move that was! Predictably, the outfits are amazing. The costume design is so good it's borderline supernatural, you feel like you're gazing upon the heavenly abodes of fashion where transcendental apsaras can always match everything perfectly to one another and to the occasion and to the plot.
Alas, as the plot develops there is some visual implications of hyperfemininity being unserious, which I can't discuss without spoilers but I found very disappointing. We live in a post–"Legally Blonde" era! pouts
Q. "How gay is it?"
About as much as a Hollywood blockbuster can be when it's about children's toys. It's baiting, but the subtext is so blatant that it barely counts as such. Like, the dyke-coded queer/shaman figure Weird Barbie first greets Stereotypical Barbie with "hello beautiful", and says goodbye by gently stroking her face murmuring "I love you", kind of subtext. Alan is heavily implied (but never stated) to be non-binary, one of the side character diversity-token Barbies is visibly trans, and both Sugar Daddy Ken and Magic Earring Ken make a cameo, albeit the latter loses the cock ring.
There's a number of infuriating liberal-feminist implications and a lampoon of online discourse that's way too unkind (when a Gen Z teen's string of reasonable political condemnations of Barbie ends up with "…and I never liked you anyway, you fascist!"). Consumerism is never seriously addressed, nor capitalism, but most of all the messaging is muddled; when the Ken plot resolves it seems to conclude against the movie's own premises. On the way back from the theatre my kid said, "it feels like the movie wanted really hard to say something, but I don't know what it was". I think this has been everyone's takeaway.
The movie is very cis, in that way cis people have of being very cis without noticing. There's an equation between coming-of-age, spiritual maturity, womanhood, and specific traits of a uterus-vagina body, which pops up as little jokes that are sure to make trans folk as uncomfortable as I was.
Q. "I heard it's a Barbie movie but it's all about Ken?"
The Ken subplot kinda steals the show, but it's still a female perspective on male anxieties. I have to admit I just found it hilarious when the Kens buy into the promises of patriarchy and set out to collectively explain to Barbies why "The Godfather" deserves to be a classic.
Barbie's own journey is weirder and poorly explained and gets too little screen time but, as I detailed above, is by far the deeper one. There are some scenes which do not serve the plot but just stay with you as way too powerful for what the movie is.
My only criticism in this regard is that the Ken choreography at the War of Kens is too good and at no point there was such a memorable choreography for the Barbies. In general the movie has too few musical pieces and way too little dancing.
Q. "I'm a bimbo is there anything in it for me?"
There's a part where Barbies fully embrace #bimbocore no thoughts head empty lifestyle! Sadly it's a brainwashing induced by the Kens' discovery of patriarchy, so it's in the context of becoming happy subservient maids to men, sissy porn-style. By far the strongest allusion to kink, ruined by it being straight kink.
Q. "Do you recommend the movie?"
It uses so much pink that the supplier ran out of pink paint. Of course I fucking recommend the movie it's fucking movie of the year
I saw #BarbieTheMovie last night (won't spoil anything, promise) and, like most, dressed full #Barbiecore for the occasion.
A core theme is that Barbie can be anything and honestly that vibes super well with the philosophy underlying resilience: we need to adapt as the conditions around us evolve and we should stay forever curious.
But also, the movie is peak absurd and fun af, so even without the nerdy analysis it's worth the watch.