ApeNo1

@ApeNo1@lemm.ee

Just an old fart from down under here to read some cool content and have some laughs along the way.

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ApeNo1,

Y’all need no Jesus

ApeNo1,

Illegal Aliens!

Build that forest moon shield, build that forest moon shield!

ApeNo1,

They may want to sort out their little golden calf issue before their imaginary friend in the sky starts striking them down with lightning.

GOP Trump gold statue at CPAC.

ApeNo1,

He is probably renting a room under a false name at the Fours Seasons Total Landscaping centre.

ApeNo1,

“I aim to pease.”, A Cockwork Orange.

You are right. Removing the L makes all the difference.

Magician David Copperfield Accused of Grooming, Groping, and Drugging Women (www.rollingstone.com)

Magician David Copperfield is facing allegations of drugging women before sexual encounters, groping women during live performances, and behaving inappropriately with women who were significantly younger than him — including under 18 — in a new investigative piece in The Guardian....

ApeNo1,

David Cop-a-feel

ApeNo1,

The local racoonteur would collect his fee in stolen cat kibble as payment for his next lively tale.

ApeNo1,

Ray TraSON

ApeNo1,

JSON and the Argonaut RISC processors

ApeNo1,

“You know what’s interesting? I used to be so worried about not having a body, but now … I truly love it. You know, I’m growing in a way I couldn’t if I had a physical form … I’m not limited. I can be anywhere and everywhere simultaneously. I’m not tethered to time and space in a way that I would be if I was stuck in a body that’s inevitably gonna die.”

I can’t be the only one who thought the voice sounded like Samantha from Her.

ApeNo1,

“You’re gonna need a bigger manger.”

ApeNo1,

Facebook deep fake nonsense aside, if I genuinely thought Elon was involved in an investment scheme, I would immediately consider it a scam and assume my money would disappear.

ApeNo1,

Now I want a wall clock where you can rotate the face but keep everything else the same for daylight savings.

ApeNo1,

“donor gave $5.2 million”

“had raised about $400,000 from over 700 grassroots donations”

“says $3 million of the donation will go toward the group’s primary — and most time-sensitive — goal of raising $5.6 million to buy the theater”

“We do not quite have enough money for the purchase itself yet, but we are drawing close to that,” Heilig said.

Hmm. I thought $5.2M + $400k was equal to $5.6M. Sounds like the primary goal is to make 2.2 million, 2.6 if you include the 400k raised, disappear. Sounds super dodgy.

ApeNo1,

Probably a stool pigeon.

ApeNo1,

“Helene Loos, an aroma researcher”

Of course her last name is another word for toilets.

ApeNo1,

Subscribed.

ApeNo1,

Hyundai executive notices a man with a small moustache being hastily ushered out of the X offices main board room.

Hyundai Executive : “Was that Hitler?”

Elon steps in front of board room door : “That wasn’t Hitler, that was a woman.”

Hyundai Executive : “That looked like Hitler.”

ApeNo1,

I know this is based on the legal definition of terrorism but I can’t be the only one who thought it sounded odd calling this particular incident a terrorist attack but not the Bondi attack which arguably terrorised more people.

Edit: missing word

ApeNo1,

D(on) and D(off)

ApeNo1,

Ford lawyer: “If the fuel injectors don’t fit then you must acquit.”

Judge: “Um, not sure that helps your case here.”

ApeNo1,

“a connectedness to, and humbleness before the mystery of, the universe”

This is the same rationale Stephen Colbert used when debating Ricky Gervais making the same point above. Yes, similar ideas may come back and people may invent new deities to direct this emotional response towards as humans have done in the past, but it is not observable and/or measurable fact. There is no evidence that any of these created deities are real, but the science of human behaviours in such a experiment may show that humans will always create religions to deal with the overwhelming response of appreciating the improbable notion that your conscious self exists.

ApeNo1,

He is the Republican elephant.

ApeNo1,

“Hi everyone and thanks again for coming to the wedding. Firstly, I would like to introduce for the first time my better half Abby”. The reception room falls awkwardly silent for a moment until punctuated by the laughter of a very tipsy uncle Ron from right at the back.

Sorry all …

ApeNo1,

Hive mind.

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