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Colin, to animals
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

Lads! I've discovered a new way to get the human up to give me 1st breakfast. Well, she got up, but I did not get breakfast on the grounds it was "too early," but I'm going to work on my technique.

I stood on the preferred human's head and dribbled on her mouth. She got up quicker than I've seen her move in a long time.

Colin,
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

@ExtraPenguin @Neferure of course I am the preferred cat! No one in their right mind would prefer Eric!

She will tell you she loves all cats the same, but I have been her preferred cat the longest of all. I was the preferred cat before Eric was even born and I will be the preferred cat forever! :ablobcatbongokeyboard:

Colin,
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

@ExtraPenguin @Neferure Eric is evil and annoying.

Colin, to animals
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

To answer the question that is on everyone's lips, yes Eric did do a panic wee on the kitchen floor.

Colin, to animals
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

I missed again due to the stupid humans abandoning me AGAIN to go to visit family. How much family do they have? I don't abandon them to go and see my family.

I was inside all day with Eric and no food.
I was forced to use a litter tray.
I was denied hugs.
I tried to hug today, but was scared of a pillow.

Colin,
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

@littlemiao now I've just had to paramedicat as the preferred human decided to vacuum, but fell, was bleeding everywhere and couldn't get up. I am now shouting at her for being even more foolish than yesterday.

Colin,
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

@thepoliticalcat @littlemiao I was the first on scene. Someone had to take charge. Plus, my shouting alerted the man, who got plasters and other medical things.

Colin, to random
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

Why are people celebrating Mongolian Independence Day in Stockport? :bunglitch:

Colin,
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

@thepoliticalcat We've had some weather that has been totally unsuitable for cats. Did you hear about the tornado near here? We had some hailstones, strong winds, sideways rain and thunder, but at least we still have our roof.

I ate my first dinner, but I may go down in a bit to see if there is more.

Colin,
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar
Colin, to animals
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

If anyone thinks a hardworking cat ever gets a day off duty, they would be wrong. Here I am again, shouting at the humans for coming home late.

Colin,
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

@thepoliticalcat I am glad Izzy is feeling better.

I didn't have time to bite anyone because there was only one bowl of food out and I wanted to rush in the front door to get to it before Eric was let in the back door.

Colin,
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

@thepoliticalcat feisty is a good sign, in my paramedicat opinion.

Colin, to Cats
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

I missed so here it is a bit late. There is more unauthorised activity going on, so I'm staying in my box all day.

Colin, to animals
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

I have a plan! I have put Eric's toy chicken and ball under the tree. He has no control over his tail, so he will knock the tree over and he'll get the blame for destroying it while I remain innocent.

maou,
@maou@mastodon.world avatar

@Colin what a plan!! :ablobcatreachreverse:

Colin,
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

@maou thanks. It nearly worked, but then he pushed the ball under the sofa and screamed because he couldn't work out how to get it out. I am a bit too gentlemanly to get under the sofa easily, but he should have no trouble if he applied his one braincell.

However, he has now noticed the tree exists and spent a long time sniffing it, so I'm going to sit back and wait. :ablobcatpopcorn:

Colin, to animals
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

Eric has made his first Christmas kill.

Colin, to animals
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

Very exciting developments!

I am never allowed in the bathroom due to my obsession with toilet roll, but the floor has been bleached. It's wet, which I do not like, but I love the smell of bleach. It's as good as catnip.

I want to go in to lick the floor, but I am not allowed in the bathroom. Rules are rules, but it smells so delightful in there. I am conflicted.

Yes, I have thrown myself at the human who bleached it in an ungentlemanly manner because they also smell nice.

Colin, to animals
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

This morning, I treated the preferred human by waking her up by sitting on her head and dribbling. Now she is awake, I am paramedicatting because she has been out too much and is feeling terrible.

She must be learning, as last night, she came home before I had woken up from my nap and realised that I'd been abandoned. There was food available throughout and Eric was somewhere else, so my nap was highly enjoyable. No shouting was required.

Colin, to Cat
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

The preferred human looks like she is getting ready to go out to another party. I have staged an intervention.

Colin, to animals
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

Am I too late for ? There is a storm. Eric and I decided to go out in it, but that was a bad life choice for us both. It's too windy for cats. I hid in a bush until I was rescued, but Eric just stood in it and screamed. He's still screaming.

Colin,
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

@thepoliticalcat He went to the preferred human for hugs, so he obviously felt comforted.

Colin,
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

@thepoliticalcat I have now gone in for a comforting hug because Eric has fallen off her.

Colin, to animals
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

I have been attacked in the street. :ablobcatcry:

Colin,
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

@thepoliticalcat I think it was the neighbour who does not like cats because his cat is unspayed. He has attacked me and Eric before.

I was bothered for ages, but I used my nervous energy to catch a mouse.

Colin,
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

@thepoliticalcat Yes, I did.

Colin, to animals
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

Another rare photo of me as a kitten.

Colin,
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

@thepoliticalcat This was after I had adopted my current humans, although I still look quite alarmed.

Colin,
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

@thepoliticalcat me too! Despite me being grossly malnourished and them allowing Eric to exist, it is much better.

Colin, to animals
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

It's snowing. It's cold. Eric went outside.

Colin,
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

I went outside by mistake. Here is me running athletically back inside.

Colin, an orange cat, running athletically. It is snowing slightly.

Colin,
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

@thepoliticalcat or fry them?

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