JetSm00th

@JetSm00th@infosec.exchange

message therapist (not a typo), cybersecurity marketer, that guy with the glasses. I help founders and other smart people tell their stories even better. It pays to be a NERD who TALKS good.

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ChickenPwny, to Meme

Lol

JetSm00th,

@ChickenPwny COWATHEFUCK?

Kclemson, to random
@Kclemson@socialnotwork.net avatar

partial streaker? Which part??

JetSm00th,

@Kclemson the left part

troublewithwords, to random
@troublewithwords@wandering.shop avatar

Tools for dealing with autonomous vehicles:

  • Skateboard
  • Fireworks

https://sfstandard.com/2024/02/10/waymo-robotaxi-goes-up-in-flames-in-chinatown-after-crowd-attacks-vehicle/

JetSm00th,

@troublewithwords “We don't know who struck first, us or them. But we do know it was us that scorched the drive.”

nixCraft, to random
@nixCraft@mastodon.social avatar

Malicious compliance 😂👇

JetSm00th,

@nixCraft Perfect. No notes.

ChrisLawley, to random
@ChrisLawley@mastodon.social avatar

When a Persona turns you into Mufasa. “Remember”

JetSm00th,

@ChrisLawley
Apple: “Everything within the FOV is our kingdom.”

Users: “What about beyond 170 degrees?”

Apple: “That belongs to the Zuckerberg.”

danhon, to random
@danhon@dan.mastohon.com avatar

omg batman is finally opening up an orphanage

JetSm00th,

@danhon gotta find your next sidekick from somewhere.

sandy, to random
@sandy@tooters.org avatar

The Disney movie The fox and the hound but make it the fox and the cat instead :neofox_floof_cute: :neocat_floof_cute:

JetSm00th,

@sandy movie would be over as soon as the older cat tried to peer pressure the younger cat do something he didn’t wanna do.

SynAck, to random
@SynAck@corteximplant.com avatar

:oof:​ Decided I should probably make sure my resume is up to date just in case I happen to hear about a position that interests me and I discovered that I hadn't updated it since 2012 (or at least that's the last one I have saved anywhere that I could find). I basically went through 3 different companies in 6 years that were results of spin-off or acquisition, so I never really needed to update my resume.

I'm having enough trouble remembering all the things I need to highlight from the last 5.5 years at my most recent position, how am I gonna remember all the stuff from the 6 years before that???

Ugh, this is gonna take a lot longer than I anticipated. I don't even want to think about what I'm going to have to do to my LinkedIn profile to tweak it more for the positions I'm now looking for. I hate that cesspool of toxic positivity and data scraping.

Gah, I hate working on resumes. :gnah:​

JetSm00th,

@SynAck better now than when you need to apply for something.

And any applicant tracking system is gonna make you retype the whole thing anyhow.

btanderson, to infosec

In every instance that I’ve discovered shadow IT in an environment, I’ve eventually found someone in IT who knew about it and/or implicitly/explicitly enabled it. I hate to think it, and I understand there are always reasons but…

The call is coming from inside the house.

That means Shadow IT isn’t really in the shadows, and the solution has to start inside IT itself.

#InformationSecurity
#InfoSec
#InfoSecurity

JetSm00th,

@bhawthorne @btanderson @wendynather crazy Office Space vibes. #IBelieveYouHaveMyStapler

JetSm00th, to random

Tag yourself...

RE: https://mastodon.social/@jamesaaron/111881354980841820

JetSm00th, to random

I did it all for the gnocchi.

JetSm00th, to random

When I was a kid, I would be horrified whenever a character in a movie was blinked out of existence. Think Back to The Future, Avengers Infinity War, or Loki.

As an adult, I just think, “lucky bastard.”

JetSm00th, to random

Every time I finish streaming a move, I’m left with a sense of obligation, like a great weight is laid upon me. Yet, I have no means to alleviate it.

.

Alice, to random
@Alice@beige.party avatar

My neighbor gave me some artisanal spices as a gift, but I don’t know how to cook anything that doesn't involve a packet of taco seasoning so please let me know if you have any recipe suggestions for how to use this "everything but the bagel" seasoning.

JetSm00th,

@Alice
Manager: “We did it, everyone! We put everything in a bagel seasoning. Take the rest of the week off.”
That One Dude: “Actually...”

donburnside, to random
@donburnside@mastodon.social avatar

Ok. I’m definitely going to have to revamp my LinkedIn to include the word founder in my profile multiple times.

JetSm00th,

@donburnside I found a dollar in the street once.

malwaretech, to random

That clip of Biden supporters drownings out protestors calling for a Gaza ceasefire by chanting "4 more years" is some pretty dystopian shit. Between that and Pelosi claiming everyone is a Russian plant, it feel like the options for 2024 are literally just gonna be MAGA or MAGA lite.

JetSm00th,

@malwaretech @paul_ipv6 YEW ESSAY! YEW ESSAY! YEW ESSAY!

JetSm00th, to random

!!

RE: https://botsin.space/@oldroadside/111857433130558342

JetSm00th, to random

I know a lot of people believe TikTok is a psyop means to destabilize our nation by sowing discord.

But on the upside, I’ve been reintroduced to niche classic country music. So that’s nice.

hacks4pancakes, to nonbinary

You all don’t know how much I panic struggle as a person about how to dress for formal occasions . It’s like a constant cycle of gender and body dysphoria mixed with societal expectations and second guessing. When I literally don’t want to be tied to expectations. It’s not just you, if you ever feel like this.

JetSm00th,

@wendynather @hacks4pancakes 100% co-sign!

You always elicit a “dayumn! That drip!” From me. 🥰

Alice, to random
@Alice@beige.party avatar

Apologies to those who watched my latest unboxing live stream. In my defense, it was 50/50 on whether those cats were going to be alive or not.

JetSm00th,

@SimonRoyHughes @Alice Isn’t it more like 200/100. Both truths existing at the same time?

Also, I suck at math.

JetSm00th, to random

Decided to introduce TheBoy™ to Magic The Gathering, so we bought two starter decks this afternoon.

Opened them and they still smell EXACTLY the same as they did in 1993.

Lockdownyourlife, to random

deleted_by_author

    •
    JetSm00th,

    @Lockdownyourlife top three fave pairs?

    JetSm00th, to random

    If I had a droid, its id would be ID-108. But I would call him “Dawson.”

    rstevens, to random
    @rstevens@mastodon.social avatar

    Are we running a pool on who's the first person to put stickers over the eyes on Apple Vision Pro?

    Hero or hate crime?

    JetSm00th,

    @danhon @rstevens googly ... nipples!!

    TootOfBob, to random
    @TootOfBob@beige.party avatar

    If you’ve ever boosted or commented on one of my posts, as far as my mom knows, you and me are in a relationship.

    JetSm00th,

    @TootOfBob can I borrow twenty-bucks?

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