dugglebutt

dugglebutt, 5 days ago to random

I don’t really understand people who don’t use their blinkers on their cars. I use my blinkers in my own driveway. Signaling to absolutely nobody. Just a force of habit.

dugglebutt, 6 days ago to random

Did you know that Flavor Flav does, in fact, change his gigantic clock necklace to reflect the current time zone he is in?

dugglebutt, 7 days ago to random

Here’s a wildly controversial take:

Spicy food is a complete culinarily cop-out. Hear me out:

I believe that when a restaurant, be it a fast food chain or some gastropub or even a legitimate restaurant, uses peppers as a selling-point, it is just masking the fact that their food fucking sucks. Oh, a whopper with 25,000 jalapeños? Please. Make a better whopper, bro.
You think any James Beard rated chef has EVER used 1 jalapeño in their lives? Not a chance, guy.

Also, sandwich places do this with onions all the time. Same idea: masking the lack of flavor.

Total trash.

dugglebutt, 11 days ago to random

I think a cool job would be the Vice President of the United States. The president and VP are rarely together as a matter of national security and the VP just sort of hangs out in a bunker in some place like North Dakota most of the time. I could easily do that.

dugglebutt, 14 days ago to random

My parents are both dying of cancer right now. This is unquestionably the worst thing that has ever happened to me in my entire life. I would never wish this upon my worst enemy (not that I have a lot). I cant sleep. I can’t eat. I want to smash my skull into a brick wall. But my family needs me now

dugglebutt, 15 days ago to random

Boston is a fun town because it produces graduates from Harvard, MIT, Boston College, Emerson and Tufts and yet is littered with idiots who will literally punch you in the face if they don’t like your coffee order at Dunkin’ Donuts

dugglebutt, 25 days ago to random

Paris is a very weird place for a number of reasons (there are very few tall buildings because the ground is made out of tombs & skeletons & bizarre stuff), but the Eiffel Tower has an apartment in it. That dude Eiffel was just like, well, I’m designing and building this thing, may as well live here. I don’t think it is normally available to the public, but you can see it through the windows (which also adds another level of chaos). I believe you can hypothetically stay there overnight for like $100,000 or something. It’s kind of a shithole though just FYI

dugglebutt, 19 days ago to random

I get more texts from Taco Bell than I get from both my friends and family combined

dugglebutt, 19 days ago to random

Whatever. I go to cheese rehab like every 18 months. No big deal.

dugglebutt, 24 days ago to random

I don’t really use Twitter anymore, I have a burner that I just use for sports and weather and news and never post from. But every time I open it, I have to question my sanity.
I just read an article about how there is an ice cream that is designed to, and I am not making this up, “taste like your grandma”
I subsequently read another article about how the New York Knicks won an NBA playoff game because someone let out “an epic fart”
These are real things. You can look them up.
Are people just getting more insane? Should I double up on my meds?

dugglebutt, 25 days ago to random

A lot of people think that it was called ‘The Roaring 20’s’ due to huge industrial advancements but it was actually called that because OF ALL THE LIONS EVERYWHERE!!!!

dugglebutt, 25 days ago to random

I actually love the French.
I know a lot of Europeans are put off by Parisians (which I suppose is defensible), but France randomly funded the American Revolution sort of out of nowhere.
Benjamin Franklin famously spent a ton of time in Europe trying to get funding for the American Revolution. The Dutch (who basically ran New York) were just like, “nope”. But the French were just like, “Hell yeah dude, balls out 🤘”
I’ve said this already, but that’s why the French flag is red white and blue and why they gifted the United States the Statue of Liberty.

dugglebutt, 26 days ago to random

One thing that is amazing to me is how professional musicians have completely fucked up fingers. You would never think that millionaire musicians would allow this to happen but here we are. Also NBA players all have completely disgusting feet because they got stomped on by 300 lbs constantly

dugglebutt, 30 days ago to random

Bill Gates once bought a book written by Leonardo da Vinci that is written entirely in reverse so you have to read it in a mirror. It costs $30 million. Excellent gambit, sir.

dugglebutt, 30 days ago to random

If you ever find yourself in a helicopter, just remember, don’t jump out of it or hold your hands up. Because ‘Decapitated by way of helicopter’ is a really stupid thing to have in your obituary.

dugglebutt, 1 month ago to random

Something that is weird is that dogs will look at you in the eyes. And for a long time, nobody knew why. The reason is because apparently, dogs are trying to make a connection with you when they do that. That’s kinda dope. Dogs are cool.

dugglebutt, 1 month ago to random

Oh man. Steve Albini just died. That sucks absolute balls. Shit.

dugglebutt, 1 month ago to random

Just learned that the British call a bidet a ‘bum gun’ and now that’s what I call it as well.

dugglebutt, 1 month ago to random

It is officially 4:20 on cinco de mayo. Pray for the lost souls who have to work at Taco Bell right now

dugglebutt, 1 month ago to random

When I was a kid, I was totally blown away that Andre the Giant could eat $20 of food at McDonald’s. Now McDonald’s is so expensive, I pay $20 in tax alone.