dugglebutt

dugglebutt, 1 day ago to random

I don’t really use Twitter anymore, I have a burner that I just use for sports and weather and news and never post from. But every time I open it, I have to question my sanity.
I just read an article about how there is an ice cream that is designed to, and I am not making this up, “taste like your grandma”
I subsequently read another article about how the New York Knicks won an NBA playoff game because someone let out “an epic fart”
These are real things. You can look them up.
Are people just getting more insane? Should I double up on my meds?

dugglebutt, 2 days ago to random

A lot of people think that it was called ‘The Roaring 20’s’ due to huge industrial advancements but it was actually called that because OF ALL THE LIONS EVERYWHERE!!!!

dugglebutt, 3 days ago to random

I actually love the French.
I know a lot of Europeans are put off by Parisians (which I suppose is defensible), but France randomly funded the American Revolution sort of out of nowhere.
Benjamin Franklin famously spent a ton of time in Europe trying to get funding for the American Revolution. The Dutch (who basically ran New York) were just like, “nope”. But the French were just like, “Hell yeah dude, balls out 🤘”
I’ve said this already, but that’s why the French flag is red white and blue and why they gifted the United States the Statue of Liberty.

dugglebutt, 3 days ago to random

Paris is a very weird place for a number of reasons (there are very few tall buildings because the ground is made out of tombs & skeletons & bizarre stuff), but the Eiffel Tower has an apartment in it. That dude Eiffel was just like, well, I’m designing and building this thing, may as well live here. I don’t think it is normally available to the public, but you can see it through the windows (which also adds another level of chaos). I believe you can hypothetically stay there overnight for like $100,000 or something. It’s kind of a shithole though just FYI

dugglebutt, 3 days ago to random

One thing that is amazing to me is how professional musicians have completely fucked up fingers. You would never think that millionaire musicians would allow this to happen but here we are. Also NBA players all have completely disgusting feet because they got stomped on by 300 lbs constantly

dugglebutt, 7 days ago to random

If you ever find yourself in a helicopter, just remember, don’t jump out of it or hold your hands up. Because ‘Decapitated by way of helicopter’ is a really stupid thing to have in your obituary.

dugglebutt, 8 days ago to random

Bill Gates once bought a book written by Leonardo da Vinci that is written entirely in reverse so you have to read it in a mirror. It costs $30 million. Excellent gambit, sir.

dugglebutt, 10 days ago to random

Oh man. Steve Albini just died. That sucks absolute balls. Shit.

dugglebutt, 10 days ago to random

Something that is weird is that dogs will look at you in the eyes. And for a long time, nobody knew why. The reason is because apparently, dogs are trying to make a connection with you when they do that. That’s kinda dope. Dogs are cool.

dugglebutt, 12 days ago to random

Just learned that the British call a bidet a ‘bum gun’ and now that’s what I call it as well.

dugglebutt, 12 days ago to random

It is officially 4:20 on cinco de mayo. Pray for the lost souls who have to work at Taco Bell right now

dugglebutt, 13 days ago to random

When I was a kid, I was totally blown away that Andre the Giant could eat $20 of food at McDonald’s. Now McDonald’s is so expensive, I pay $20 in tax alone.

dugglebutt, 14 days ago to random

It’s funny that there is an airline company called Airbus because, as a matter of pure marketing strategy, why in the world would you want people to associate your product with a fucken bus?

dugglebutt, 14 days ago to random

Star Wars is so hilarious to me because its fans act as if it’s some cult phenomenon as if it’s not the most popular running film series in the history of cinema.

dugglebutt, 15 days ago to random

me, stoned, looking at the Burger King menu

Whopper? - well that sounds amusing

Double Whopper? - a fair number of Whops, but okay

Triple Whopper? - this may now be too many Whops

Impossible Whopper? - is this legal? Does CERN know about this?

dugglebutt, 16 days ago to random

I haven’t had someone curse a pox upon my house in quite some time. Aside from that one witch I met in the woods years ago. I wonder how she is doing these days. I should probably send a Christmas card.

dugglebutt, 17 days ago to random

Clearly the absolute peak of British cuisine is this thing called a ‘Chip Butty’ which is, I am absolutely not making this up - two pieces of bread with nothing but fries inside.

That’s it. That’s like something a four year old would invent.

dugglebutt, 22 days ago to random

When I was a senior in high school, this really random thing happened. I was staying at the Inter-Continental Hotel in New York and that’s where all the tennis players stay during the US Open. This wildly famous chick, I will call her Anna K. Or maybe A. Kournikova, like gave me that look. Up and down. So she was sitting on a bench and I sat down next to her. She was a super nice person and she was like into me. I never did make out with her, which I probably should have done, but we just talked for like 10 minutes. I guess I probably should have, in retrospect, but whatever. It was kind of cool regardless

dugglebutt, 22 days ago to random

There is a very famous city in Thailand called ‘Bangkok’ and I feel like people don’t discuss that name enough