healyn

healyn, 4 days ago to random

That 3-boobed lady from Total Recall must have felt like she hit the lottery when she saw that casting call in the trades

healyn, 4 days ago to random

Trump learned from Roy Cohn to never apologize, never admit being wrong. But he's savvy enough to be evasive and flexible on certain issues, despite being a big time dope

A lot of republicans have tried to follow his lead, but it just doesn't come naturally to them. So you end up with a person like Kristi Noem doubling down and telling the American people that she's ready and willing to murder way more dogs

healyn, 4 days ago to random

We're gonna look back on how absurd it was that some universities defused protests by agreeing to hold a vote in a few months to potentially divest from a couple weapons stocks, while other schools decided, "we're gonna need library rooftop snipers ready to go, immediately"

healyn, 4 days ago to random

I pretty much hate everything AI-related, with the exception of the glitches involving text-to-speech stuff where it fails and just starts saying, "buhhhhhhhhhhhh"

healyn, 4 days ago to random

Some guy once said to me, "Sporty Thievz is the poor man's Lox", which is way more elegant than Tolkien's "cellar door" horseshit

healyn, 4 days ago to random

Kinda fucked up that Peggy Noonan refuses to debate me despite my friendly daily emails I've been sending her for the past 29 years

Sometimes I'll just be like, "what u up to?"

Not a single response. Coward

healyn, 4 days ago to random

Hmmm, you accuse me of losing a rap battle, and yet I won a defamation lawsuit?

Interesting, tell me more 🙄

healyn, 5 days ago to random

Didn't change the channel after the Nuggets-Wolves game, and now listening to music while Return of the Jedi is on TV in the background

Many of the non-human characters in the original Star Wars films are nasty little pieces of work, brazen in behavior

Quite a few perished

healyn, 6 days ago to random

making it a point to keep my beef with 21 Pilots on wax

no personal stuff, just some lyrical gladiators going toe to toe

healyn, 6 days ago to random

Grateful that Kendrick Lamar has no idea who I am

healyn, 10 days ago to random

It seems a bit heavy-handed to accuse popular US conservatives of "murdering puppies", but here we are

TheBreadmonkey, 10 days ago to random

Normalise saying "no idea wot ur goin on about m8"

healyn, 10 days ago to random

despite the scarcity of Bigfoots, they are on the International Union for Conservation of Nature's "least concern" list, much like the goblin shark

healyn, 11 days ago to random

The integrity of the US electoral system will collapse if either Biden or Trump dies prior to November (conspiracy theories will run wild)

For this reason, we are freezing them both in a cryogenic chamber until October 31st, a day where nothing can go wrong

healyn, 11 days ago to random

It's wild how anyone who says AI can replace legitimately creative people has never said anything funny or interesting in their life

I'll admit that a guy like Marc Andreessen has an interesting, funny-shaped head, but he's never made me laugh outside of that

Alice, 11 days ago to random

When Sting told Roxanne that she didn't need to wear that dress, do you think it was his subtle way of saying it was ugly and hoping she'd put on something better?

healyn, 15 days ago to random

I know a lot of people here hate the CIA, but you gotta admit it would be kinda fun to give a guy mind control drugs and ask him if he really thinks your karaoke voice sounds like you could go pro if you catch a break or two

healyn, 5 years ago to random

Job Interviewer: so where do you see yourself in 5 years?

Me: the bottom of a river. let's talk compensation