newsthump

newsthump, 8 hours ago to random

Get your favourite new notebook here >>> https://buff.ly/3K5tJEf

newsthump, 10 hours ago to random

17-year-old stuns neighbours by leaving original exhaust on car https://newsthump.com/2024/05/16/17-year-old-stuns-neighbours-by-leaving-original-exhaust-on-car/

newsthump, 13 hours ago to random

Coffee - because apparently a hot mug of amphetamines is frowned upon. Get yours HERE >>> https://buff.ly/4dKZ3Wk

newsthump, 13 hours ago to random

Fictional alien time travellers can’t be black, insist morons https://newsthump.com/2024/05/16/fictional-alien-time-travellers-cant-be-black-insist-morons-2/

newsthump, 1 day ago to random

Being called a gammon is exactly the same as being lynched, claim cantankerous white codgers https://newsthump.com/2024/05/15/being-called-a-gammon-is-exactly-the-same-as-being-lynched-claim-cantankerous-white-codgers/

newsthump, 1 day ago to random

Pregnancies by milkmen ‘at all time low’ https://newsthump.com/2024/05/15/pregnancies-by-milkmen-at-all-time-low-2/

newsthump, 2 days ago to random

Esther McVey promoted from Common Sense Minister to Minister for Silly Walks https://newsthump.com/2024/05/14/esther-mcvey-promoted-from-common-sense-minister-to-minister-for-silly-walks/

newsthump, 3 days ago to random

Homeopath refusing to accept heavily diluted payment https://newsthump.com/2024/05/13/homeopath-refusing-to-accept-heavily-diluted-payment/

newsthump, 5 days ago to random

Man who spent over a grand to see the northern lights in Iceland last month now feeling a bit silly https://newsthump.com/2024/05/11/man-who-spent-over-a-grand-to-see-the-northern-lights-in-iceland-last-month-now-feeling-a-bit-silly-2/

newsthump, 10 days ago to random

Sadiq Khan’s London on verge of becoming entirely free of grifting arseholes https://newsthump.com/2024/05/06/sadiq-khans-london-on-verge-of-becoming-entirely-free-of-grifting-arseholes/

newsthump, 13 days ago to random

The voters didn’t back us because we still let trans people use the toilet of their choosing, insist angry Tories https://newsthump.com/2024/05/03/the-voters-didnt-back-us-because-we-still-let-trans-people-use-the-toilet-of-their-choosing-insist-angry-tories/

newsthump, 14 days ago to random

Government reveals plans to outsource primary school education to Rwanda https://newsthump.com/2024/05/02/government-reveals-plans-to-outsource-primary-school-education-to-rwanda/

newsthump, 14 days ago to random

DIY SOS team arrives at Manchester Co-op Live Arena https://newsthump.com/2024/05/02/diy-sos-team-arrives-at-manchester-co-op-live-arena/

newsthump, 15 days ago to random

We must stop the small boats so we can take care of our own first, insists man furious at taxpayer cash being used to feed hungry schoolchildren https://newsthump.com/2024/05/01/we-must-stop-the-small-boats-so-we-can-take-care-of-our-own-first-insists-man-furious-at-taxpayer-cash-being-used-to-feed-hungry-schoolchildren/

newsthump, 17 days ago to random

Rishi Sunak warns of ‘dangerous precedent’ if leaders have to resign simply because they can no longer govern effectively https://newsthump.com/2024/04/29/rishi-sunak-warns-of-dangerous-precedent-if-leaders-have-to-resign-simply-because-they-can-no-longer-govern-effectively/

newsthump, 17 days ago to random

Man left frightened and confused by ‘incoming call’ on smartphone https://newsthump.com/2024/04/29/man-left-frightened-and-confused-by-incoming-call-on-smartphone/

newsthump, 20 days ago to random

Opinion: I could do with ninety grand right about now, so please could Laurence Fox call me a paedophile? https://newsthump.com/2024/04/26/opinion-i-could-do-with-ninety-grand-right-about-now-so-please-could-laurence-fox-call-me-a-paedophile/

newsthump, 21 days ago to random

Zero Bothers Given. Because we could all do with being a bit more Winnie...
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newsthump, 21 days ago to random

Labour issues pledge to nationalise the Conservative Party https://newsthump.com/2024/04/25/labour-issues-pledge-to-nationalise-the-conservative-party/

newsthump, 22 days ago to random

My shitlist of people who call unnecessary meetings. The new notebook you didn't know you needed, until right now. Get yours HERE >>> https://bit.ly/3Uvl7N9

newsthump, 22 days ago to random

Man quietly sings ‘fuck you I won’t do what you tell me’ whilst putting jam on his scone first https://newsthump.com/2024/04/24/man-quietly-sings-fuck-you-i-wont-do-what-you-tell-me-whilst-putting-jam-on-his-scone-first/

newsthump, 23 days ago to random

BREAKING! Donald Trump's lawyers reveal cunning plan to ensure the jury never sees him fall asleep in court.

newsthump, 26 days ago to random

‘My child won’t have a smartphone until they are sixteen’ insists man who will definitely cave in at eleven https://newsthump.com/2024/04/20/my-child-wont-have-a-smartphone-until-they-are-sixteen-insists-man-who-will-definitely-cave-in-at-eleven/

newsthump, 27 days ago to random

Rishi Sunak to end ‘sick note culture’ by putting coma patients to work as draft excluders https://newsthump.com/2024/04/19/rishi-sunak-to-end-sick-note-culture-by-putting-coma-patients-to-work-as-draft-excluders/

newsthump, 28 days ago to random

‘It’s wokeness gone mad!’ – fury as supermarket sells genital-free gingerbread PERSON https://newsthump.com/2024/04/18/its-wokeness-gone-mad-fury-as-supermarket-sells-genital-free-gingerbread-person/