You got yourself a good colleague here. Seriously there are so many bad ways this conversation could have gone. But also the only type of person who asks someone if they’re neurodivergent is another neurodivergent person. From what I understand neurotyps tend to interpret a question like that as offensive. Like they’d have to be a super ally, down with the neurodiversity movement, has a kid, partner or close family member who’s neurodivergent type of neurotypical.
If you are neurodivergent then cool, enjoy the journey in rediscovering your identity. It’s important to know that our capacity to function can be context dependent and relative to the supports / systems that we have in our lives. You may feel like you’re doing fine now but there may be a point where things change and your capacity is reduced. This is where knowing you’re neurodivergent can be helpful because it can be useful in developing self compassion and negotiating your support needs. Or maybe you’ve built up all of these coping and management strategies that work for you and you’re able to just keep on keeping on. Either way it’s always good to learn more about yourself.
You may feel like you’re doing fine now but there may be a point where things change and your capacity is reduced. This is where knowing you’re neurodivergent can be helpful
Thank you for this! My GP doesn’t think I have ADHD because I can hold down a job. He asked me at my last appointment, “So, you still want to try and get on ADHD meds?”
I didn’t know how to word that I don’t just want a diagnosis for meds. I want to know what I’m working with so I can get whatever help I need, when I need it.
In some ways I think it really sucks that medical professionals get to be gatekeepers of our identity in this way. Which is why I really dig the neurodiversity paradigm because it gives us a way of exploring our identities as identities rather than just dsm labels. People who don’t understand tend to assume that we all just want to label ourselves for the sake of it. But identity is a complex thing and having an explanation for why you’re different from the norm is very powerful.
Knowing that you’re neurodivergent also allows you to explore ways of structuring life around that. For example, there are a range of non-pharmaceutical options for managing adhd. And they often work best when tailored to each individual’s needs. There’s also the benefit of knowing what your strengths and limitations are (all people have these regardless of adhd). Another key thing is also being able to find your community! This is something that a lot of people really underestimate the significance of.
Yes, they are great - they are quite vocally neurodivergent and thankfully I’m in a company and culture that is very supportive, accommodating and open about these things.
I think, even without any diagnosis, having this conversation has made me think “hey, maybe I don’t have to be so hard on myself” which, regardless of whether I am or am not neurotypical, is probably a positive train of thought to be having!
I was able to control my focus with ease instead of having it yanked away by almost anything, and also got able to control the hyperfocus periods (as in, being able to stop whatever I’m doing to take care of other important needs).
As a side benefit, my mood also got better, during medication effects I feel less anxiety and am less prone to anger.
This is a huge one for me, too. I managed my transition to a new provider poorly and am consequently out of medication, and I have so much less tolerance for other people and their bullshit. It took conscious effort to not be cunty with a store employee the other day when he had the temerity to interrupt my search of a shelf for a thing to offer to help with my search. 😂 It wasn’t until I was relaying the story to my husband that I went from “can you fucking believe that asshole” to “can you fucking believe what an asshole I am omfg.” 🤦
I very nearly replied to his second, “What are you looking for?” with “None of your fucking business!!” 😂🤦 jfc. I just ignored him instead, which I’m sure was also offensive.
I just can’t go out into public after mid-morning until I get more medication, I am a menace. 😂
In my case I often get stressed with my step-son, because he’s not only got the worst case of ADD I’ve ever seen (without the Hyperactive part) and is always absent-minded, but he also puts zero effort into attempting to overcome his challenges. Teenagers are so damn hard to deal with 🤦♀️
And at my work I have some “difficult” co-workers who just can’t seem to understand the concept of “asynchronous communications” and demand instant attention all the time. Wonderful for someone with a tough time focusing 😅
Oh my god, yes! Less frustration, less anger at insignificant things, and I guess less “cunty” overall which is the most important benefit for me. Just like you, I feel like a total asshole when I’m not medicated, and I don’t like myself very much in these situations…
Absolutely. The most useful “habbit” I have for managing my ADHD is being brutally honest with myself at all times.
If you learn to reflect on your patterns and feelings, you start getting a good idea early on when you’re gonna be in one of those dysfunction days.
Best thing I’ve found to do about it is “take the day off”. If I know everything is gonna be uphill in a unique way, I take it easy. If I’m at work, I try to focus on the most accessible micro-tasks, or “tedious” things that take zero cognitive work.
For me those days are a sign of burnout and I know little will be accomplished if I force myself to overwork that day anyway. So I prioritize resting my brain. Sometimes it means doing nothing at all, sometimes it means video games or folling around with in GarageBand with a keyboard and bass.
Letting your brain do whatever random bullshit it’s craving can be just as restful as doing nothing. Sometimes these days can actually be really productive for my hobbies, or housework, or spouse time, just depending on what my brain wants.
yeah “taking day off” works best for me too, if I try to push myself too hard on those days, I don’t succeed and get exhausted from the self induced stressing.
Or if I really really need to get things moving I drink coffee on that day, seems to work. Not very effective when drinking coffee on multiple days a week though
You are absolutely not alone. As various factors rise & fall, sometimes they stack up and I just lose hard for a day. Do what you can to be nice to yourself on those days. Beating yourself up for not functioning “normally” is like mocking a quadroplegic for not walking with proper posture. Days like that I try to make time to do something slightly creative with no end goal, like record some bass lines then delete them. The required solitude is an amazing treat (if you can get it), the creative outlet feels like finally letting go of a fart you’ve been holding in public all day, and the final deletion keeps anything from having any pressure to be good enough.
This is brilliant! As others have commented, I too have DOOM piles. I will commit from now on, one area for the most important/most needed items and resist the urge to put all the mail, and receipts, and other crap that usually ends up in the catch all spot. Thank you for sharing!
Especially for pasta. I only really eat Barilla, and do it a minute less than they say on the packet for al dente. Rolling boil first, salt, chuck pasta in, stir it so they get a good coating, cover, stir every other minute, drain immediately then mix into whatever sauce I’m cooking (or sauce into the pot with the pasta) to cook it in for a minute.
My £4 a week pasta habit for something I enjoy is not throwing money away. If this was truly the case then restaurants wouldn’t be using better brands than supermarket own brand stuff. Nor would I choose the £1 box over the 40p pack when I could be saving money. Di Cecco is another brand which is good but not so easy to find.
If a restaurant isn’t making it fresh, they’re buying it in bulk from a wholesaler. Maybe they’ve got a deal with Barilla, or maybe they shop at the same restaurant supply store I do and get the sacks of brandless dried pasta. You clearly have no idea what you’re talking about.
So I'm not a Barilla diehard, not even close, but there are definitely worse cheap pastas, not necessarily all of them but some are. If someone's in doubt just check the ingredient list on the packages.
I experience all of my emotions as a flash in the pan. Anger, shock, fear, sadness, joy. All of them, very, very intensely, but only for a moment before I'm back to zero.
Dr Russell Barkley seems to be pretty against the idea of not taking meds. ADHD affects all parts of your life, and just because you don't have school doesnt mean you dont have ADHD. Your brain works better on the drugs, you can be more responsible, put more effort into your hobbies, and take better care of yourself if youre on your meds.
Unless theyve got some real reason for suggesting that, you should probably get a new dr.
Once I stopped my ADHD meds, it felt like hell. I only lasted 5 days without my meds. Thanks a lot!
I’m most likely not gonna change my Dr. I’ve been with her for 6 years and I’m just one of the first ADHD patients she has lol. But she told me she’s gonna do training to update her knowledge!
Also she did give me my prescription when I told her I didn’t think it would work. She didn’t just cut me off.
I’ll inform her of your comment since she’s always willing to learn and listen to what I tell her.
MBTI (Myers-Briggs Type Indicator) is a popular personality assessment tool that is based on Carl Jung’s theory of psychological types. It was developed by Isabel Briggs Myers and her mother, Katharine Cook Briggs. The MBTI classifies individuals into 16 different personality types, each represented by a combination of four dichotomous preferences. These preferences are as follows:
Extraversion (E) vs. Introversion (I): Reflects how individuals gain energy. Extraverts tend to be outgoing and energized by social interactions, while introverts are more reserved and recharge through solitude.
Sensing (S) vs. Intuition (N): Describes how individuals perceive information. Sensors focus on concrete, tangible details and the present moment, while intuitive types are more inclined to focus on patterns, possibilities, and the future.
Thinking (T) vs. Feeling (F): This preference pertains to how individuals make decisions. Thinkers tend to rely on logic and objective analysis, while feelers make decisions based on personal values and emotions.
Judging (J) vs. Perceiving (P): Refers to how individuals approach the external world. Judgers prefer structure, organization, and decisiveness, while perceivers are more flexible, open-ended, and adaptable.
To determine your MBTI type, you can take a self-assessment test, which is widely available online. The test will consist of a series of questions that will help you identify your preferences in each of the four dichotomies. Based on your answers, the test will generate a four-letter code representing your MBTI type. For example, you might end up with a type like “ISTJ” (Introverted, Sensing, Thinking, Judging) or “ENFP” (Extraverted, Intuitive, Feeling, Perceiving).
Finding your exact MBTI type can be tricky though… but it’s important. I believe that cognition determines a lot of your personality, including information metabolism. You need to dig deeper to find the cognitive aspects, the tests only talk about superficial behavior, which is useful to understand yourself… but not if your behavior is causing you difficulty. Understanding the reasons for the behavior should yield insight. As for a scientific base, Dario Nardi observed that the 16 personalities have a distinct eeg profile. It talked about learning styles, which was interesting to me since studies are difficult for me. While tips are nice, understand how you process information is more useful… so that you don’t have to learn things the hard way.
ADHD has a distinct footprint when you look at the qEEG (Quantitative Electroencephalogram). Was in the research phase last time I read about it, but I don’t think it’s used for diagnostic purposes atm.
To generalize, for hyperactive types, the eeg scan is like a christmas tree. For inattentive types, the eeg scan is inactive in certain areas (prefrontal cortex… )
My personal opinion is that the Myers-Briggs types are just convenient boxes that people are willing to put themselves into. More scientific than astrological signs but general enough that one can identify.
“Oh hey, remember (name)? They worked here like 6 months ago.”
No. No I do not remember that person. I probably didn’t learn their name when they were here, let alone retain that information 6 months later.
Now I just lie, cuz people do NOT like the implication that you’ll definitely forget their name in 6 months, too 😂 “Oh, yeah! That guy! How’s he doing these days?” While I desperately try to conjure a mental picture as they talk about That Guy. Usually the conversation ends with me still not having a clue.
I blame a lot on brain farts when the name I can’t come up with is someone who DOES still work here, “Fuck, why am I not coming up with this name that I 100% do, in fact, know??”
Really they should have been clued in to my horrible memory when I needed the phone number for our other store, that I call multiple times a DAY, to be written down near the phone because I can’t reliably remember it when I need it.
The phone number reminded me of a trick I found to get peoples names. Ask for their number them hand them your phone with a blank new contact to fill in. (Pro tip, screenshot the new contact or you won’t know who it was) Also “What’s your name again?” — “Joe” — “I know I meant your last name, how do you spell it?”. Somehow writing names down helps me. I can read them and remember them at a time when I’m not focusing 100% of my brain to not fuck up our conversation.
I've started OMAD (One Meal A Day) for past month. It seems to work well. It's basically intermittent fasting - 22-23 hour fast, 1-2 hour eating. You can drink coffee, water and zero sugar drinks during the fasting period but only eat for one period a day.
It's been working well for me - I realise I don't feel hungry during the day, I was just bored and habitually eating. I've lost weight (which was my main aim) but I find my day no longer revolves around the other mealtimes, and also I actually value my main meal now so I've been eating better quality and trying to actually cook. It's also saved me money not needing to buy breakfast or lunch foods, and no snacks, and my food budget is concentrated into one good meal a day.
It's been surprisingly easy to stick to.
Obviously it won't be for everyone and you need to consider the health benefits and potential drawbacks first, but it's working well for me.
I agree that omad is one of the best diets out there, however it only partly helps with overeating. My personal experience is that I started to develop crazy binge urges a few weeks / months into it to a point that I felt sick ever night and still managed to gain lots of weight. Especially when combined with regular exercise.
Binge eating unfortunately is a different beast caused by numerous other issues so I think they need to be addressed by something other than a diet
It could be depression. It also sounds like the very common experience in ADHD I’ve heard of where your brain just doesn’t have enough dopamine to do anything. So you might try to get yourself to do stuff, but you literally can’t get yourself to do what you’d like (even though you feel like you should be able to). You might even just stare at a wall and get mad at yourself for not moving. Maybe this video might have some tips?
But I mean, it’s also possible to have comorbid depression with ADHD. There are a lot of places they can overlap (low motivation, low energy). Outside of medication, you might just need to find ways that work for you and help you to feel motivated or even just happy and accepting of where you’re at. It’s okay to have off days too, I hope you know. People with ADHD have a lot of shame so it’s important to make sure that you aren’t struggling with that on top of the lack of motivation. To learn to be easier on yourself. And to learn about ways that the rest of society may have not properly taught you how to handle the unique struggles you deal with (so you can stop pressuring yourself to accomplish or act to neurotypical standards).
I'd say the distinction is the definitely not ADHD variant of the scene has Hal finishing replacing the bulb, and then working on the fixing the shelf, and so on. But that wouldn't be funny.
Also I just noticed that he gets a screwdriver out of the drawer, but the shelf support appears to have a loose nail.
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