betterdeadthanreddit,

Halfway through the web of social connections, I was expecting this to end like that old doctor riddle or some sort of logic puzzle where you have to identify people from a set of linked clues.

arditty,

This really does read like a high school word problem.

1chemistdown,
1chemistdown avatar

Did they take a bag of popcorn to thanksgiving? Because, I’m getting ‘they took a bag of popcorn to their mom’s thanksgiving diner’ vibes here.

Any follow up?

SrElsewhere,

Unfortunately none. Absconded with this several years back and don’t even remember where.

To be a fly on that wall.

Track_Shovel,

No fly could stick to that wall because it doesn’t exist

1chemistdown,
1chemistdown avatar

Damn shame, because that’s some good popcorn material.

GlitchSir,

Found this on Bing

Kevin came later than Aunt Sheryl and her husband. I am sitting, waiting patiently. As Kevin walks into the room, Aunt Sheryl looks horrified and goes completely silent. Her husband asks if everything is okay and greets Kevin courteously. Throughout dinner, my aunt acts super suspicious and Kevin acts uneasy too. Her husband, bless his stupid soul, doesn’t see any of this and starts actually bonding (the stupid man!). Soon after we finish dinner, we all decide to drink some beers and watch the game. Aunt Sheryl complains of a headache and retreats to the guest bedroom. Kevin also wants to leave but Aunt Sheryl’s husband goads him into staying for a bit longer. Kevin reluctantly agrees.

NoIWontPickaName,

I thought u/shittymorph came with us for a second.

I'm probably just yelling into the void but...

Hey @shittymorph did you make it?

ThtCrzyBstrd,

There’s a potential imposter here somewhere. I thought the real shittymorph retired shortly before hell broke loose on the site-that-must-not-be-named

GlitchSir,

Who’s shittymorph?

ThtCrzyBstrd,

Back on the site-that-must-not-be-named, u/shittymorph would wander subreddits randomly and drop a comment that seemed relevant, but devolved into a diatribe about a 1998(?) pro wrestling match in which The Undertaker threw Mankind off the top of Hell in a cell, 16 feet into an announcers table.

Damn, I feel like I just channeled him to write that comment.

groats_survivor,

The husband trusts his wife and doesn’t make a big deal about some awkwardness and tries to be inviting to a new-comer. Instead of always accusing his wife of having an affair everytime they meet a new man. It’s a lose-lose for this fellow

Ongar,

People really use this awful font as their default??

can, (edited )

I think some old phones defaulted to it

Sheltac,

What??

can,

Unless my family members willingly chose it…

Sheltac,

Bad news, mate

Stan,

Phones from ancient Egypt.

mainaccount,

Just like aunt Sheryl.

Stan,

Sheryl does.

abbadon420,

Kevin is the man my cunt cheryl has been having an affair with

flambonkscious,

Bring back comic sans!!

I’ve started sneaking it into change controls with whatever snarky tone I can muster…

Saneless,

If someone ever tried to show me something on their phone and they have some weird font I just run. What they’re showing is likely going to scar me emotionally and is likely very crazy

FReddit,

Much as I don’t like to judge people on fonts, this one reeks of psychopath.

Kerrigor,
Kerrigor avatar

Should be using Papyrus

Track_Shovel,

There’s a comic I follow on IG (candy hearts I fhink) that uses papyrus to troll people. Lol

rockerface,

Wingdings is where it’s at

Caboose12000,

or Comic Sans

Hawke,

At least comic sans is legible

imPastaSyndrome,
MrShankles,

Watching that skit never ceases to get a genuine laugh out of me. I’m literally gonna go watch it right now lol

Kerrigor,
Kerrigor avatar

Hey finally someone got the reference!!

mvirts,

I think it matches the content in this case 😅

adhdplantdev,

It makes it easier to read if you have something like dyslexia

moosetwin,

man I don’t have dyslexia and this is much easier to read than something like arial

hangonasecond,

I think you might have dyslexia

moosetwin,

no it’s not that

Mr_Blott,

Yes it is, you’ve been diagnosed by an internet stranger so please just accept your fate and hstu eht ufck pu

trouser_mouse,
@trouser_mouse@lemmy.world avatar

Good morning! Fuck everything about this.

beanz00_,
@beanz00_@lemmy.world avatar

i could feel my braincells commit suicide as i read this

Koordinator_O,
@Koordinator_O@lemmy.world avatar

That reads to me as if it could have blown up at anytime anyway. I think her doing only accelerated the inevitable.

TheSpermWhale,
@TheSpermWhale@lemmy.world avatar

My brain just melted out of my ears

jayrodtheoldbod,

I really have to play more chess

FlyingSquid,
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

I joined chess club in school and I lost in 3 moves at the first tournament. I learned at a young age that chess is not my game.

weevai,

There's so much to unpack here.

afraid_of_zombies,

A and B and C and D are going to a destination E.

A and B are having an affair. C is being cheated on. D is planning on enjoying the act of torturing A B and C

Weirdfish,

I knew those unions and sets would come in handy one day.

I might be able to come up on with a less direct way of telling the story than the original post, but it would take effort.

stratoscaster,

Hmmm according to set theory it sounds like uncle is gonna fuck Kevin but idk I never learned set theory

BravoVictor,
@BravoVictor@programming.dev avatar

Dear internet: please be a true story.

NoIWontPickaName,

Do you only watch non-fictional tv amd movies?

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