Emerald,

For real though, security questions suck. Either someone who knows you has the answers which is insecure. Or you forget them. I just put my password in for all the security questions. My mother’s maiden name was definetly “ahsh555[51´,5%8”.

Theharpyeagle,

It’s so so so stupid. And if you’re not married and don’t have a pet, I guess you can go fuck yourself.

I had one that was something like “what did you wish your nickname was when you were 10?”

numberfour002,

I had one that was something like “what did you wish your nickname was when you were 10?”

Duh! Sparkle Bright Rainbow Harbinger Sea Squirrel.

masinko,

Thanks for ur account info mate 😎

Pulptastic,

I have a neighbor kid nicknamed sparkle rainbow, but he’s only 4.

Cosmos7349,

For me, I use stable related answers that are not quite accurate… So for example “first pet’s name”. I’ve never had a pet, and so I instead use the name of my favorite childhood stuffed animal.

squidspinachfootball,

Doesn’t that defeat the purpose of the questions though, if you were to forget your password? I answer with nonsense too, just keep it in my password manager or write it down somewhere.

Emerald,

Why would I forget my password? Its in my manager

BuboScandiacus,
@BuboScandiacus@mander.xyz avatar

And what is your dog’s name then ? Just asking for a friend who needs to secure his account

bitwaba,

The first time I saw security questions start becoming a thing in the late 90s, I’d been online for about 5 years and had gone from a kid with decent tech skills to a skeptical teenager with decent tech skills. When I started seeing all these questions to answer while signing up for an account it set off the warning bells, so however many accounts I set up at the time have completely unguessable recovery answers.

Although one time I think I did guess my forgotten answer to “who was you first kiss?” as “your mom told me not to tell”.

lost_faith,

lol, I do similar, I stole from the old spy movies. “What is your mothers maiden name? A: The crow flies at midnight” Total nonsensical answers to the questions

diffusive,

The best part is the reference to the “modeling job at shutterstock” 😂😂😂

dbx12,

my king?!?

Guards! Take her away to the dungeons, for she has addressed her majesty improperly.

umbrella,
@umbrella@lemmy.ml avatar

im a rich young girl, but the bank blocked my money 😭

i will meet you if you transfer me the $200 fee for unlocking it 🥰

dont worry i will pay you back in double when i get it 🤑

Cas9111,

I ll pay 500, will you double plllleaase?

umbrella, (edited )
@umbrella@lemmy.ml avatar

sure bby ❤️ u

TheControlled,

Pointless red circle, pointless post title…

xantoxis,

OP not understanding that they’re making a joke about a post that is already a joke on purpose

Timecircleline,

Ok I agree that the title falls flat but I appreciate that the red circle draws the eye away from the first text from him, so that it’s funnier when it’s read. A rare example of red circle as comedy, if you will.

JCreazy, (edited )

I’m noping out of there as soon as someone calls me king. Cringe AF.

Kusimulkku,

“It’s EMPEROR. Get it right!”

T00l_shed,

You need to work on your honourific Game, just emperor isn’t enough.

ThrowawayPermanente,

God-Emprah of Mankind?

T00l_shed,

Bigger.

ThePowerOfGeek,

Exactly!

“GOD EMPEROR OF THE KNOWN AND THE UNKNOWN UNIVERSE” or GTFO!!!

jubilationtcornpone,

“My king!”

“I’m sorry, but you’ve thrown off the emperor’s groove.”

Thrown out window noises

detectivesniffles,
@detectivesniffles@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

when she calls me imperator 😍

ANNOFlo,

“I’m sadly just a duke now, succession has caused me to lose the throne. Please do not call me that again or my brother will have me beheaded.”

Boozilla,
@Boozilla@lemmy.world avatar

When everyone is a king or a queen…we have one fucked up system of government, right there.

MonkeMischief,

“King? I didn’t vote for you!”

Sam_Bass,

Sounds like password reset questions

TachyonTele,

Yes. That’s the joke.

orphiebaby,

Why did people downvote this person? No, really, why? Like, this isn’t the worst example of this I’ve seen by a long shot, but I guess I’m just not in the mood for this crap right now.

  1. Can you even tell if the implication was that they didn’t know? Or was it maybe instead that they were being snarky?
  2. If they genuinely didn’t know, are they bad for it? I mean, you’re downvoting them because you dislike their statement, right? It’s not over irrelevancy. But you’re born knowing literally nothing, so what is “common sense”, and at what age does it happen? Is it a crime to be unsure of something? And think about it— do you really want to be the kind of person who is a dick to random people just for lacking a bit of sureness/clarity/awareness?

Ugh, social media is a great way for people to discover that they share ideas and tastes with other people, and therefore validate their own humanity; but it’s also a great way for them to get bullied by dumb mobs who don’t know them, into insecurity and mental health issues.

Eff off, internet.

Sibbo,

your modelling job at Shutterstock

If this is real it’s the saddest way to create a fake profile. They probably left the watermark in.

A_Union_of_Kobolds,

Lmfao that’s too good

BeMoreCareful,

I hope it’s a bot and not someone that’s scamming with their heart just not in it.

LwL,

It’s not, that guy constantly tweets this sort of joke. The shutterstock thing is just part of it.

Anticorp,

Did you know that Lemmy will automatically censor your password if you type it into a comment? Look, my password is *************

Karyoplasma,

hunter2

MajorHavoc,

All I see is ******* /joking, don’t give out your password folks.

Kusimulkku,

/joking

Fucking hell

blanketswithsmallpox,

:Sarcasm: In the spirit of accessibility, I have declared that sarcasm in the internet is dead.

:Serious: We must all write in Elcor.

Granite,
Granite avatar

Hi, Kit!

bane_killgrind,

Oh wow surprisebuttsex696969

Macaroni_ninja,
@Macaroni_ninja@lemmy.world avatar

Also known as unexpected item in the bagging area

GladiusB,
@GladiusB@lemmy.world avatar

I don’t know what you are doing in the baggage area but I’m here for it

bane_killgrind,

HEY YOU LIED

Assman,
@Assman@sh.itjust.works avatar

This guy is a god damn phony

Anticorp,

Mua, muahaha. MUAHAHAHAHA cough muahahaha!

traches,

No it only shows your password to you. Only you can see hunter2, everyone else just sees *******

Tixanou,
@Tixanou@lemmy.world avatar

holy crap, really? lemme test

minecraft123

Tixanou,
@Tixanou@lemmy.world avatar

help how do i delete a comment

Granite,
Granite avatar

I’m waiting for your account to offer me a deal on BTC.

Sotuanduso,

deleted by user

Anticorp,

Looks like we got one for real here!

Sotuanduso,

Well yes but actually no. Truth is, the comment was deleted from the start.

T00l_shed,

Open file explorer and delete your system 32 folder.

sag,

sudo rm -rf /

T00l_shed,

I know, I took a risk with a windows themed joke lol. I will be transitioning to Linux with this windows 11 bs though.

sag,

I will not mind. It was just a joke

bdonvr,

It’s okay it shows it for you because you already know it, it’s censored for me

Bashnagdul,

Hunter2

rimjob_rainer,

guest

troglodytis,

Hey, we have the same password!

lugal,

Let’s try this, sounds fun:

p4s$w0яd123

Edit: didn’t work for me =(

Anticorp,
phorq,

Sounds like she’s trying to steal your identity. Specifically your last name because that’s wife material!

stanleytweedle,

“We’re so in sync! I bet our social security numbers are almost the same- what’s yours?”

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