Not The Onion

unmagical, in Far-right AfD leader vows to campaign for Brexit-style EU exit vote in Germany

Because Brexit worked out really well …

GregoryTheGreat, in Oklahoma proposal would make watching porn a felony, ban sexting outside marriage

Bahaahahahaha!

makeshiftreaper, in Oklahoma proposal would make watching porn a felony, ban sexting outside marriage

I know they don’t give a shit and that the intention is to use this to dismantle existing rights, but it’s very established law that porn is a form of free speech in America. So banning the consumption of it would be illegal.

Of course if passed I’m sure cops would start calling straight/lesbian porn art but say Call Me By Your Name is pornographic to slap felony charges on anyone supporting LGBT rights. Plus having grindr even installed would get you 3 felony charges just walking by the local church’s Bible study class

squiblet, in Libs of TikTok Fueled Bomb Threats at Oklahoma Schools. The Superintendent Just Hired Her
squiblet avatar

Of course, why confront real problems facing schools when you can fight imaginary ones?

muse, in Libs of TikTok Fueled Bomb Threats at Oklahoma Schools. The Superintendent Just Hired Her
muse avatar

Won't someone rid us of this troublesome bigot?

PoliticalAgitator, in Libs of TikTok Fueled Bomb Threats at Oklahoma Schools. The Superintendent Just Hired Her

If progressives leave space, the far-right fills it.

Atom,

Agreed! Though, unfortunately in this case, Ryan Walters ran on this exact platform and was honest about what he’d be. Oklahoma had moderates, experienced educators, and liberals in the race and they voted overwhelmingly to fuck their public school systems instead.

Kalkaline, in A Chinese man who chain-smoked his way through a marathon was disqualified for smoking on the course

What’s the point of disqualifying him? We all know he finished. It’s not like he gets any prize money for it.

themeatbridge,

To discourage others from smoking during the race.

Imagine this guy was in front of you, and you have to breathe in his second hand smoke while you’re trying to run a marathon. Not everyone has lungs of steel like this guy.

Kalkaline,

I understand kicking him out of the race while it’s going, but it sounds like it was after the fact that they took action.

roastedDeflator,
roastedDeflator avatar

It looks like it's the following:

the Xiamen Marathon confirmed that a participant violated an article of its rules and regulations, which prohibits "open defecation, smoking, or trampling on flower beds or green spaces."

9point6,

I’m glad the list is in apparent order of severity

zero_spelled_with_an_ecks,

Covert defecation still permitted, though.

celeste,
celeste avatar

I hope so!

captainlezbian, (edited ) in Far-Right Congressman Complains There Aren’t Enough White People Joining the Army

No I didn’t join because standing around in a desert shooting people who have every right to defend their homes from me sounded fucking awful, especially since I might have to do it standing next to some person who’s concerned about the skin color of the person next to them.

Or maybe because I’m disabled, queer, was gifted, and from an Air Force family.

I might’ve been disappointed I couldn’t join if it actually was Marxist. Instead I’m just a little sad I couldn’t join the army corps of engineers because they actually improve lives and make my country better

donuts, in Far-Right Congressman Complains There Aren’t Enough White People Joining the Army
donuts avatar

Someone tell this dude that Frankenstein ['s monster] wants his haircut back.

wjrii, in Far-Right Congressman Complains There Aren’t Enough White People Joining the Army
wjrii avatar

Yes, the United States Army, noted reservoir of bleeding heart liberalism.

Maybe, just maybe, it has more to do with the military always needing to draw from people with few other options, and despite howls of "reverse racism" from asses like Gosar, white Americans are doing absolutely fucking fine at the demographic/statistical level.

carl_dungeon, in Far-Right Congressman Complains There Aren’t Enough White People Joining the Army

He should volunteer!

Hobbes, in Alleged pickleball masturbator nabbed after Columbia Pike peeping incident

What a headline.

torknorggren, in Alleged pickleball masturbator nabbed after Columbia Pike peeping incident

9/10. Needs at least one pickle innuendo.

Pons_Aelius,

A man caught jerkin his gherkin was possibly wearing a merkin.

solowolf, in Manatee dies after ‘high-intensity sexual behavior' with brother at Florida aquarium

gay

solowolf, in Twitter Beats Out Threads for Coveted Taliban Leader Endorsement

Sad thing is this seems to be the case prior to elon musk too

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