Not The Onion

Burn_The_Right, in Manatee dies after ‘high-intensity sexual behavior' with brother at Florida aquarium

The good news is we’ll never see another MAGA at an aquarium again.

readbeanicecream, in Soldier who fled to North Korea likely ‘not thinking clearly,’ Army chief says
readbeanicecream avatar

Obviously.

Aatube,
Aatube avatar

The entire article reads onion-y

worfamerryman, in Soldier who fled to North Korea likely ‘not thinking clearly,’ Army chief says

That is my take on it. He is probably in a lot of trouble and does not want to deal with the consequences.

I bet he is thinking he can sell secrets to NK in exchange for a good life.

scabrous-leper, in Plastic surgeon who livestreamed procedures on TikTok banned from practicing medicine in Ohio
scabrous-leper avatar

@Aatube That is really proof that we are living in social media-induced end times. I'm going to go and eat a little cyanide now...

Aatube,
Aatube avatar

No, you're seeing the way less than half cases of deranged people and claiming it to be all.

andyburke, in Young people in Guangzhou commute in electric wheelchairs as e-bikes face tighter rules
andyburke avatar

The Wall-E future is coming but it's in China. 😂

ThatWeirdGuy1001, in Twitter Beats Out Threads for Coveted Taliban Leader Endorsement
@ThatWeirdGuy1001@sh.itjust.works avatar

Jesus christ what is this timeline

manillaface, in Body 'liquefaction' unit unveiled
manillaface avatar

Hopefully my local Tropical Smoothie Cafe gets one soon.

FinalBoy1975, in Body 'liquefaction' unit unveiled

I understand that it's good for the environment or that's the intention. Still, for some reason, it grosses me out more than an old-fashioned cremation. I guess I'm going to have to get over it, right?

TiredSpider,
@TiredSpider@slrpnk.net avatar

idk if people on kbin can see lemmy comments yet so I maybe talking to myself here BUT in the west people used to think cremation was creepy and weird too, there was a lot of backlash to it. This seems to be the case every time a new way to deal with bodies appears. Conversely there are also ways of handling the dead and corpses that used to be popular that have fell out of fashion and would be considered creepy now.

Regardless while this is better than cremation I’m more excited about human composting tech. It’s basically the same end result as a natural burial but takes up less space and is quicker than natural decomposition. By the end of the process there isn’t anything human left like dna because it’s been so well broken down so its safe to put anywhere like a garden with sentimental value.

FinalBoy1975,

you're not talking to yourself. I can read your comment. making a garden in memory of someone is nice. I like that idea.

Alexmitter, in Body 'liquefaction' unit unveiled
Alexmitter avatar

Nothing wrong with that technology.

emerty,

Just the terminology, needs a snappy name like dignitas

ackzsel, in Body 'liquefaction' unit unveiled

This may be a problem on my side but just to check: Does the full body of the article consist of just these 9 words: "New body 'liquefaction' unit unveiled in Florida funeral home" or are parts of that website not loading for me?

TiredSpider,
@TiredSpider@slrpnk.net avatar

it’s just you, I get five lines in the article and a video.

emerty,

Had to click the read more bit to get:

A Glasgow-based company has installed its first commercial “alkaline hydrolysis” unit at a Florida funeral home.

The unit by Resomation Ltd is billed as a green alternative to cremation and works by dissolving the body in heated alkaline water.

The facility has been installed at the Anderson-McQueen funeral home in St Petersburg, and will be used for the first time in the coming weeks.

Here, company founder Sandy Sullivan explains how the machine works

mrginger, in Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg offered Rome's Colosseum as cage fight venue

I’m out of the loop. Is this really a thing?

NarrativeBear,

Seem like it has been. I know there was a post from musk where zuc agreed to a fight.

I for one would love to see this. Though I would not pay, and if I had to it would be with monopoly money.

Tenthrow, in Handbag ‘smaller than a grain of salt’ sells for over $63,000
@Tenthrow@lemmy.world avatar

I’m not sure if I’d rather have a ton of money and be stupid or if I’d rather just be me with the amount of money I have now.

rodhlann,
rodhlann avatar

I'm sure the people buying the stuff are so wealthy they don't even have to think about $60k. Just pocket change

RickAllensLeftArm, in New Zealand to wipe out every last rat.

Not the Sumatran Rat Monkeys!

Pons_Aelius, in TikToker Fakes His Death, Then Shows Up at His Funeral to Teach His Family a ‘Life Lesson’

How can he think this is a good idea?

If a family member wanted me to cut all contact with them, this is a good way to go about it.

bquinlan,

I'm right there with you. This wasn't about his family growing apart. This was about hurting the people who love him to get views. Only a sociopath could do that and still sleep at night.

Ippei,
@Ippei@lemmy.world avatar

Yep. I would have left right there and then if he pulled that stunt on me.

killick, in MP files 'official grievance' after Taylor Swift announces new tour dates with no Canadian cities
killick avatar

She's doing shows in Seattle and Detroit. Detroit is practically across the street from Canada. British Columbia is 2.5 hours from Seattle, which is the same time it took my wife and daughter to get to the Philadelphia show from the Washington, DC area. Get over it, Canadian MP.

engityra,

I live in Alberta and this headline made me laugh because of how stupid it is. That said, Seattle and Detroit are quite a ways away from Alberta, but yes, a reasonable distance for people in southern Ontario or BC.

killick,
killick avatar

As comic Stephen Wright once, said, everywhere is walking distance if you've got the time.

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