Not The Onion

oDDmON, in GOP Congressman Says Dead Palestinian Babies Aren’t All That Innocent

We should question the innocence, intelligence and integrity of that congressman.

xilliah, in GOP Congressman Says Dead Palestinian Babies Aren’t All That Innocent

Madness

flipht,

Evil. Saying literal babies aren't innocent is perhaps the most racist thing I've ever heard, since their race is the only thing the congressman could be basing this assumption on.

roastedDeflator, in Elmo’s wellness check uncovers existential dread and despair on social media, nobody's ok right now
roastedDeflator avatar
Annoyed_Crabby, in Over 2,000 shell companies have directors aged 123 years or older, Moody's found. The oldest known human lived to 122

One listed director — at 942 years old — would have been born in the 11th century.

There’s also thousands of examples of directors below the age of five, and 22,000 entities with a registered address at Egypt’s pyramids. Meanwhile, one individual held 5,751 roles at 2,883 different entities.

Call me conspiracy theorist if you want, but i have reason to believe this is all one single ancient alien living under the upside down pyramid controlling all those individual and in effect the world. You can’t change my mind.

snooggums,
snooggums avatar

Why would one alien have multiple birthdays?

It is clearly a whole civilization of mole men, change my mind.

A7thStone, in Over 2,000 shell companies have directors aged 123 years or older, Moody's found. The oldest known human lived to 122

Methuselah, is that you?

ME5SENGER_24, in Over 2,000 shell companies have directors aged 123 years or older, Moody's found. The oldest known human lived to 122

Vampiric board members is the only obvious answer, right?

SkyezOpen,

I’ll get the stakes, machetes, and blessed bullets. UV flashlights are worth a shot. I don’t think garlic actually works but I’ll be eating garlic bread on the road anyway.

morphballganon, in Wisconsin state representative says abortion isn’t health care and he knows because he was a veterinarian

I initially read the headline as “was a vegetarian” and that made about as much sense

Kerb, in Japan’s ‘moon sniper’ probe made incredibly accurate landing, but is now upside down
@Kerb@discuss.tchncs.de avatar

classic ksp style,
only missing a bit of lithobreaking for good measure.

Holyginz, in Wisconsin state representative says abortion isn’t health care and he knows because he was a veterinarian

Good God I would never want him treating one of my pets.

carl_dungeon, in Wisconsin state representative says abortion isn’t health care and he knows because he was a veterinarian

Well then the only healthcare he should be provided for the rest of his life is veterinarian care.

Master, in Oklahoma proposal would make watching porn a felony, ban sexting outside marriage

Guess its time to hate okies again.

AmidFuror, in Far-right AfD leader vows to campaign for Brexit-style EU exit vote in Germany

That's all fine and good, but when are we going to get the Sudetenland back? That should be the next step toward a final solution for Germany.

captainlezbian, in Far-right AfD leader vows to campaign for Brexit-style EU exit vote in Germany

Don’t they currently have a labor shortage?

gregorum, in Far-right AfD leader vows to campaign for Brexit-style EU exit vote in Germany

riiiight, because that worked out so well for the UK…

fluxion, in Far-right AfD leader vows to campaign for Brexit-style EU exit vote in Germany

It’s a model for how to destroy your economy. Amazing how these people continue to get into positions of power in modern society.

admiralteal,

You're presuming conservatives care about the economy just because they say they do.

They don't. The only war is the culture war. When they talk about individual rights or the economy or "good for business" or border security that's just a smokescreen.

fluxion,

I don’t presume that at all. By “people like this” I mean blatant liars who are constantly at odds with reality but somehow still find enough support to threaten democracies around the world

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