“Well, Judge, I purchased each pair at such a high price because my client, Mr. Ivan Oligarchsky, believed them to actually be solid gold and has no desire to return them.”
“What’s that? Oh, yes, the same is true of Sam Saudi, the other party I represented. He is also satisfied and would just like this whole thing to go away.”
“As to my own culpability in assisting this alleged, ALLEGED, skirting of political fundraising guidelines (we don’t like the term ‘laws’) I was acting as a broker for the rightful President of the United States, Donald J. Trump, so I declare immunity.”
“Yes, I have seen The Office, why do you ask?”
“Mostly livestock law, you know ‘was it coyotes or the damn Hendersons’, but I have done some real estate for family. It’s a small town. Very conservative. Not much call for lawyering.”
I can’t wait to wear mine to church with my 24K gold WWJD bracelet, diamond-studded rosary, and t-shirt with a camel waltzing through the eye of a needle on it. Gonna look so fresh.
This is going to make his campaign rallies fucking fabulous. Armies of chuds wearing red hats and shiny gold shoes descending on whatever hee-haw hellscape is hosting Chudcon that week.
You know, for a supposed billionaire, this guy sure does get into some weird grifting. You don’t see Bezos or Gates or Buffett or even Elmo doing this kind of thing…
For all of my youth I wore size 10. I wore this because my step-father wore 10.5 and there was no way I had bigger feet than him. So, for 10 years I wore shoes that were way too small for me. Now, as an adult, I wear size 12 in most brands and wouldn’t you know it, I don’t have to deal with debilitating foot pain. People are fucking weird about shoe sizes.
I hear yeah, but I also know that Trump would get really pissed if people didn’t think he had big strong feet. Look at how he handles the tiny hands stuff.
No one in this world, so far as I know—and I have researched the records for years, and employed agents to help me—has ever lost money by underestimating the intelligence of the great masses of the plain people. Nor has anyone ever lost public office thereby.
Add comment