The moon is in plantigrade this evening. This has angered the worms. Look at them writhe! See how they flail their tiny pink noses in their fearsome wrath! Don't worry, buddy, they're just worms. They can't do anything to you. Go ahead, stomp them with your big flat feet! Feel that hot pink spaghetti wriggling through your toes! This is what you were made for.
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