RickiTarr, (edited )
@RickiTarr@beige.party avatar

The Tale of Two Gynecologists

This is a bit long, and I've talked about this a lot lately, but it's something I'm thinking about a lot in the wake of so much hatred of female Healthcare. When my female troubles got bad enough that I finally talked to my doctor about it, he referred me to a gynecologist. I had already had several ultrasounds and an MRI at this point, and she had put me on some oral contraceptives for several months, (which made sick to my stomach no matter what I did) and had just done another ultrasound. She greeted me with "Well, you're really messed up inside, Honey.", which already had me pretty stressed out. Then told me I would probably need surgery to figure out exactly what was going on. She then asked me if I wanted children, and I said No. I had taken my husband with me to the appointment for moral support, and she glanced over at him, and then talked to me for 5 minutes about how many women my age could still have children, and I could definitely consider it, and that they would do everything they could to make sure I could stay viable. They could freeze my eggs if I had to do a hysterectomy, just on and on. She probably asked me directly 4-5 if I was sure I didn't want kids. Finally, I said, "Ma'am, my husband got a vasectomy over a decade ago, we are absolutely sure we don't want kids." After hubs had found me crying on the toliet, because my period was late again, he went to his doctor and said, "Hey doctor, I'm thinking about a vasectomy." The doctor gave him a pamphlet to read, and made him an appointment. The whole thing was done in a few weeks.

Anyhow, she finally referred me to a gynecological surgeon, and I was not looking forward to dealing with this again, and was just generally terrified of having surgery for the first time. I met with this woman and she was so efficient and practical. It is the longest doctor appointment I've ever had, since this surgery would be exploratory, she went over every possibility of what could happen when she was inside. She did a thorough exam, she went over all the scans that I had, and explained why she thought this needed done. Then she said she would like to put in a Mirena IUD during surgery. She said, "You're in pain half the month, and there's no reason for you to have a period if you don't want to have kids. You'll have some erratic bleeding for six months, but by a year most women have a very light or no period at all, there's no reason for you to needlessly suffer if you don't end up needing a hysterectomy."

It's interesting to me still, that one doctor was so focused on what my body could do, and another so focused on how I felt. I came out of the first appointment feeling scared and confused, and the second feeling heard and cared for. Feeling valued as a person and not a baby maker made the surgery much easier to go through, and the Mirena has been great btw. Women don't have to needlessly suffer.

megsouth,
@megsouth@c.im avatar

@RickiTarr Had a very similar situation and took years to resolve. Ablation saved my life! So glad you found a good doc!

hopeward,
@hopeward@sfba.social avatar

@RickiTarr It’s always wonderful to have a great doctor take over from one that’s… not.

GhostOnTheHalfShell,
@GhostOnTheHalfShell@masto.ai avatar

@RickiTarr

Let’s open up this topic to those suffered gall stones.

(raging anger)

maddad,
@maddad@mastodon.world avatar

@RickiTarr

I have gotten 2nd opinions a few times in the last 10 years. Quite often those 2nd opinions saved me a lot of grief and unnecessary surgeries.

Methylcobalamin,
@Methylcobalamin@mastodon.social avatar

@RickiTarr

I've had several doctors tell that comment gets made to young women, because women do change their minds and some of them decide to sue the gynecologists who sterilized them at their requests.

RickiTarr,
@RickiTarr@beige.party avatar

@Methylcobalamin I was 40

Mathiuston,

@@RickiTarr I understand that the second doctor was more aware of your needs. Also, probably the first one wasn't very emotionally intelligent (from reading her first words). However I think that the act of asking repeatedly for confirmation (I'm talking about the first doctor) is ok when facing an irreversible procedure. People come from all places to the decision. Some are aware of all the consequences and others not, but the medic should make sure of it.

RickiTarr,
@RickiTarr@beige.party avatar

@Mathiuston I get twice, but 4-5 times is trying to push an agenda

1dalm,
@1dalm@deacon.social avatar

@RickiTarr

Women: Healthcare for women is terrible and incredibly frustrating.

Also women: Why won't men go to the doctor?

RickiTarr,
@RickiTarr@beige.party avatar

@1dalm BECAUSE YOU'RE STUBBORN LOL honestly it took me years to go to the doctor regularly, it's still really hard for me

kcanales02,
@kcanales02@mastodon.social avatar

@RickiTarr I had one of those IUD, don't do it. Painful AF, gave me severe depression, didn't feel like myself. Had it taken out about a year later. I am happier. I would rather deal with my condition another way.
Since you are having surgery, maybe you will be out and not feel the implantation of it. But I am telling you, I almost passed out (and almost threw up) from the pain of implementation. And it lasted for 6 months. Worst experience ever. And the depression almost ruined my marriage.

RickiTarr,
@RickiTarr@beige.party avatar

@kcanales02 I already did it and I absolutely love it, saved my life, but yeah it's a low dose of hormones and people react differently to them, oral meds made me feel awful, but this didn't, Healthcare should be tailored to you.

JackPine,
@JackPine@ohai.social avatar

@RickiTarr

Was it Endo? I've share your post with my SIL.

RickiTarr,
@RickiTarr@beige.party avatar

@JackPine Yep, it was, I was pretty sure it's what I had, but no way to know for sure without surgery.

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