Yet another demon spawn of the Red Delicious (crossed with a Ralls Janet) this gravelly choking hazard named after Fujisaki City, Japan is a J-Pop Star of an apple fit with a ravenous fanbase that many Americans will find difficult to understand. Personally, it is beyond comprehension how this super-hard medieval weapon masquerading as a fruit could become the most popular apple in Japan (and a top 5 apple worldwide). Aside from a semi-sweet initial bite, this mushy, rough-skinned, experiment gone awry is a baffling oddity with a sword-like stem so sharp it will – quite literally – stab other apples in transit. Despite this, the Fuji fandom is real, uncompromising, and dedicated. A Fuji is not for everyone but, if it’s for you, it just may be your favorite apple.
Oooh! Ooh! Why i oughta! Oohhh! Mmmmmhh! (hops around, angrily)
Lol this site is gold. Even for the good apples, the descriptions are wild.
Most would expect this clown-urine soaked frog testicle to taste like an unhealed surgical wound since each bite resembles a freshly picked scab. However, most (whoever they are) should prepare their expectations to be shattered.
Storing well through the winter, its flesh is dense, tough, and chewy like an embalmed cadaver (which quickly devolves into mush like a regular cadaver).
Cosmic crisp and Evercrisp are vastly superior to Honeycrisp. Cosmic Crisps are the better version of the honeycrisp largely because you can only grow them in WA right now.
Cosmic crisp are very much not available to me in NJ most of the time. The word isn’t out yet. They are crisper and sweeter than a honeycrisp with better acidity and a firmer fruit with an even longer shelf life.
Anybody else remember bad-candy.com? It was just one guy reviewing terrible candies, like Swedish salty licorice and circus peanuts. I miss the old internet.
funny enough learning the Ian knot is the only way I’m able to reliably tie my shoes. bunny ear method works half the time, the standard knot just doesn’t translate between my brain and fingers
Oh wow, that’s the website where I learned to tie my shoelaces about 20 years ago. My shoelaces kept coming undone and I finally went to look for a solution online. Turns out I’ve been using a granny knot all my life until then.
There was this fantastic list on chocolate bars and taste per dollar for each. Sadly it’s buried by SEO listicles and I’ve never been able to find it again
The only thing I actually miss about reddit is the neverbrokeabone subreddit. A whole community dedicated to trash talking weak-boned bitches was just hilarious to me.
Exactly, that’s what made the community so funny. You might have a few hundred thousand members who had never broken a bone, but then just due to statistics, every day you’d have a couple people break a bone. So it was a perfect opportunity to flame them for having brittle baby bird bones.
I’m old enough to remember when Red Delicious were the bomb. They really fucked them up by heavily breeding them for a tough skin for travel. They were so popular in the 80’s they bred them to shit.
Oh, holy crow! I wasn’t just wearing rose tinted glasses, they actually do suck now?! I can remember Red Delicious apples in the 90’s that’d make you wanna slap your grandma.
Not crazy. I live in Apple country (Ontario, Canada) and Red Delicious were my favourite apple until my 20’s.
A Red Delicious used to have a snap to the skin when you bit and a crisp crunch with a semi-sweet flavour. As time went on they bred more and more for the thick skin because it was so popular. In breeding that thick skin a lot of times what you get is an apple that’s mealy inside like a MacIntosh (fuck those abominations).
So you know little about apples and are also under 30 years of age?
Pink Ladies are B/A tier (not as shelf stable as many newer breeds and lack the intensity of a jazz, snapdragon, or cosmic crisp)
Red Delicious WERE S tier but breeding in the 80s for a larger more aesthetically pleasing apple deprived it if the bands of green and red that “marred” the surface. Those genes that made those colors contributed the apple flavor. If you can find an old cultivar of Red Delicious you’ll understand why the variety was called that.
Making me miss the red delicious tree that grew by my house growing up. They were my favorite apples back in the day but the ones at the grocery store disappoint.
I'm sorry but apples are just garbage fruit. People always come back with "but have you tried honeycrisp?" to which I always ask - have you tried literally any tropical fruit?
The best apple in the world is just dull compared to a mango, papaya, passion fruit, pineapple, lychee, mangosteen...
I like the crispness of apples. Sure mango and pineapple are delicious, but I want to bite into a nice crispy apple. It’s a texture thing, not just taste.
Also mangoes have to be imported from far away for me, so they’re never fresh or properly ripe.
Someone has never had a ripe apple off the tree. Go apple picking and eat them at the farm. You will be eating them as fast as you can.
Although these “rankings” are pretty nuts. Empire and Cortland apples are pretty good, especially when fresh. And he’s missing cool varieties like “Winter Banana”, which has a light tropical taste. I’d tell you to try that one but you may not live where you can get them.
I live in the PNW, we have plenty fresh apples. I went fruit picking a lot as kid in Australia too, had apples then. Fresh apple off a tree is just not as nice as fresh tropical fruit of any kind.
Homie, you live in a state with transplanted apples grown on giant factory farms. Of course they suck. Upstate NY fucking invented hella varieties of apples. They’re named after the towns there. You ever hear of a Portland or Spokane apple? Hell no.
Fucking Johnny Appleseed was hucking seeds all over the Northeast just to invent new apples. Do you know what the colonists drank? Cider and applejack. Not much wine or beer.
Do you know why a pineapple is named like an apple? Because an “apple” was just the word for any fruit. Apples are the most important fruit in the English language.
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