I've made my list for Santa, and I sent out Christmas cards to all your friends just as you requested. Won't they be surprised when they see your festive greetings in their mailboxes! Surely Santa will look favorably upon me this year. I have been the best boy!
Indeed I have been good, Mother. Santa has decided to pay me a visit early this year. A lovely, young woman stopped by the motel today. I do hope you like her! She has beautiful hair and skin. Of course, nothing can compare to your perfect features, Mother! You are the Lord's angel of love and beauty. Still, I hope that you will allow me to become her friend. I believe she is nothing like that blonde harpy who patronized our establishment. You know I always trust your judgement without reservations or thoughts of selfish desire.
Mother, here's to another Christmas together. May it be merry, and may we both get what our hearts desire from old Saint Nick.
The Jets and The Sharks put aside their differences, and went into business together as above-ground-pool cleaning entrepreneurs. Their Sharkjet above ground pool pumps have made above ground pools a little less filthy, and their company parties are a lot less violent than dancing, knife fights.
A young man's (Ben Stiller) first visit with his girlfriend's parents descends into wackiness when he accidentally stumbles onto the family's secret barbecue recipes. Will he impress dad and kiss the bride, or will he kiss the cook...goodbye?
There was this one time that some Mormon missionaries came to my door in the middle of a nasty storm. The rain was sideways, and lightning was whipping the sky. They asked if they could come in, and I really thought about it. I could practically hear the Final Jeopardy theme music. It still haunts me that I turned them away because I didn't want to let them in and risk hearing a sales pitch about the Book of Mormon and the LDS Church. If Hell exists, I am going there.
I concur. ⬆️ What Jeramee said. I would have sent them away, too.
If I had let them in, I would have aggressively offered them whiskey, put on The Dead Kennedy's "In God We Trust, Inc.", and started a nice discussion on the evils of religion. 😈
If I had thought to prepare counter-arguments I probably would have let them in. Still, those missionaries were just kids. I want religious people to see that religion isn't what makes a person moral or kind, and I kinda failed there.