@DivineKestrel@chaosfem.tw
@DivineKestrel@chaosfem.tw avatar

DivineKestrel

@DivineKestrel@chaosfem.tw

Black autistic train wreck of the manic pixie dream girl variety. Desperately sapphic and depressingly monogamous.
Constantly walks into the cocktail party naked in heels because my sense of boundaries is entirely fucking broken.

I dream of having bigger tits, a day collar, and someone who calls me "pet."
Someday I will meet a woman willing to tie me up in a vaguely uncomfortable position and fuck me until the pain stops. Until then I'm here to rip my chest open and pour 75 conflicting emotions all over everyone's expensive shoes.

I post about sex A LOT because I'm a horny chaos demon. My posts auto-delete after a while for the safety of humanity.

If I don't know you, you might consider interacting a bit before requesting a follow or I might ignore it.

If you're a cis man, you might consider not interacting at all…or at least thinking real hard before explaining my own jokes to me or describing the nuances of politics or science, both which I've written actual books about.

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

rooster, to random
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deleted_by_author

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    DivineKestrel,
    @DivineKestrel@chaosfem.tw avatar

    @rooster I just spit out my coffee.

    DivineKestrel, to random
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    All right, lesbians I'm gonna need y'all to start coming out of the woodwork and hitting on me more than the dudes are please

    DivineKestrel, to random
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    I just took my collar off to go into my doctor's appointment and it feels like a piece of me has died.

    DivineKestrel, to random
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    Breaking: Trans woman buys collar and after a minor amount of hyperventilation, enters restaurant.

    DivineKestrel,
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    You know that feeling when the super cool hyper-masculine guy working in the restaurant sees you and gets completely flustered and clumsy and knocks over a glass of water trying to impress you?

    I do.

    Y'all… I know that feeling!!

    What the fuck is even happening?!

    DivineKestrel, to random
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    First rule of the internet:

    You can always choose to say nothing.

    DivineKestrel, to random
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    I've decided I absolutely want FFS. I don't want it because I want to be beautiful, and I don't even want it to be more feminine. I actually want it because the more I feminize, the more I look like my mom. And I have enough fucking cPTSD from that abusive, crazy-ass bitch to deal with all ready without seeing her fucking face in the mirror all the time. Yes, I will 100% get surgery to cut that bitch out of my life.

    DivineKestrel, to random
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    I'm on a zoom meeting and the combination of my underbust corset and the Macbook camera makes my boobs look like they are bigger than my head.

    No, you miscreants, I won't post a picture. You'll have to use your imaginations.

    JoscelynTransient, to random
    @JoscelynTransient@chaosfem.tw avatar

    Calling upon the FEDI HIVEMIND: I need suggestions on medium to shorter hairstyles that can accommodate a sweeping bang that hides the hairline.

    I am getting tired of longer hair and want to get a shorter cut than I do now, but most of the shorter haircuts that look cute or hot on queer gals like me rely upon a full hairline, which I do not have at all. What could I try instead?

    DivineKestrel,
    @DivineKestrel@chaosfem.tw avatar

    @JoscelynTransient göt2B. Follow the directions. Your hair is light enough for no bleaching. Don't skimp on set time. Heat helps it set, so low heat gun while it's setting helps it last.

    DivineKestrel, to random
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    That male gaze.

    DivineKestrel,
    @DivineKestrel@chaosfem.tw avatar

    @lisamelton "Firsthand?" Don't know about that so much. Whenever I looked at women it was wishing I could be that free wearing whatever I wanted or that I could have hips like her. I wasn't really a "I want to hit that" person. I made damn sure I never said what I was actually feeling though because it doesn't take saying "I wish I looked that good in a skirt" before you realize what to keep to yourself.

    Honestly, one of the best parts of transition is that now I can just walk up to the women and tell her I wish I looked that good in a skirt.

    DivineKestrel, to random
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    Dilating and watching episode 1 of Farscape.

    Wish me luck.

    DivineKestrel, to random
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    Deanna Troi was my first conscious gender envy.

    rooster, to random
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    deleted_by_author

    •
    DivineKestrel,
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    @rooster I need to hear it.

    I will never hear it.

    DivineKestrel, to random
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    Terra's Type, in a single image.

    Reborn_Cat_Mom, to random
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    Is “wha-CHA, BOOBS” an appropriate unit of measurement to give to a surgeon for goals for a BA? 🤔

    DivineKestrel,
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    @Impossible_PhD @Reborn_Cat_Mom my original measurements were "danger to vehicular traffic."

    Impossible_PhD, to random
    @Impossible_PhD@hachyderm.io avatar

    I just learned that Naomi Wu, that sexycyborg lady creator, was raised as a boy because of China's One Child policy.

    And that it is because she was raised and had to live as a boy that she found a hyperfeminine, and particularly a super-busty, body to be extremely resonant.

    Looks down at her own tits.

    I... I'm just gonna sit with that for a little while.

    Wow.

    DivineKestrel,
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    @Impossible_PhD Yeah… that hit me fucking hard…

    DivineKestrel, to random
    @DivineKestrel@chaosfem.tw avatar

    Hi.
    …
    I'm good, thank you.
    …
    Yeah, I'll take a 12oz lavender mocha, a thick leather collar, a spreader bar, and a large woman with a predilection for violence.
    …
    Um, to go. Thank you.

    DivineKestrel, to random
    @DivineKestrel@chaosfem.tw avatar

    If I could go back in time and give my younger self one piece of advice, it'd be "don't transition in a white liberal town."

    Saltssaltgirl, to random
    @Saltssaltgirl@mas.to avatar

    Me: Why aren't you eating your lunch?

    Student: I'm saving it for later.

    M: It'll go bad if you leave it out too long.

    S: I know, but we don't have food to eat when I get home so I'll eat it right after school and it will be like lunch and dinner together then.

    M: You don't have any food at your house?

    S: (Looking down) We have some cereal.

    M: Don't worry. I'll make sure you get some food at home. I promise.

    S: I believe you.

    M: (heart breaking into a million pieces)

    DivineKestrel,
    @DivineKestrel@chaosfem.tw avatar

    @Saltssaltgirl @SallyStrange this was my school experience, but without the conversation.

    Impossible_PhD, to random
    @Impossible_PhD@hachyderm.io avatar

    I poured my soul into a novel over the course of a decade, worked to make it fun and marketable and be the kind of story I wanted to find and read in the world. No interest at all.

    I start SGW on a lark, and try to just talk through the stuff I picked up along the way. I put zero effort into promoting it. Everyone loves it somehow.

    I make a bad throwaway joke and a scholarly punisher seeks me out to sign me to a contract.

    If that isn't some monkey's paw nonsense, I don't know what is.

    DivineKestrel,
    @DivineKestrel@chaosfem.tw avatar

    @Impossible_PhD I've had editors specifically ask me to write fiction because they loved my non-fiction so much, then send extremely impersonal rejections as if I was some cold submission they never heard of. This has happened multiple times, mind.

    This is part of why I stopped publishing non-fiction. It hurt too damn much. I've heard the same from many other writers, many whom I published next to.

    Doesn't hurt any less, but it's not unique.

    Impossible_PhD, to random
    @Impossible_PhD@hachyderm.io avatar

    Well, it's been two months.

    Looks like my novel didn't make it with Bindery Books. 😢

    DivineKestrel,
    @DivineKestrel@chaosfem.tw avatar

    @Impossible_PhD as someone who was an editor for a literary magazine, I think "uninterest" personalizes it for your specific work, making it feel more personal than it is, when the reality is the volume of submissions is simply more than you can even imagine. To put it bluntly, it's not even about you.

    Consider: my literary journal 4 pages, published twice/year, as an insert to our local newspaper, in a town of 6000 people nestled in the Oregon mountains. More to the point, it was specific to the places and people in The Columbia River Gorge.

    It was literally nothing.

    We had hundreds of submissions. Too many to read. Submissions from China, from Norway, from Israel, like how did they even find us. One submission was a childhood memory of visiting here only to realize they were talking about (we think) the Mississippi River.

    It was insane. I literally had to hire other editors. There were 4 of us. For four pages…in The Hood River News!

    DivineKestrel,
    @DivineKestrel@chaosfem.tw avatar

    @Impossible_PhD Now, expand that several orders of magnitude, and think about a small editorial staff of less than 5, wading through that room of books. The sheer math is daunting.

    Give each book only 5 minutes, which is nothing, and we're talking about (realistically) less than 60-70 books an editor barely has time too open in a day, if they are zooming. But they're probably getting 100 submissions every day.

    And the reality is that editors become editors because they love writing. so they don't throw 5 minutes into the book. They put in way more. That means your book is a one-man sailboat floating in the middle of the Pacific, which is filled with boats.

    Yeah, to you, it's life, because it's your boat. But to the editors, it's just a sea of boats.

    It's not about you, it's not about disinterest. It's shear math. Unless you have a way to get it in front of someone's eyes—the right someone's eyes—through connections or luck, then you are one of 700,000 boats.

    Impossible_PhD, to random
    @Impossible_PhD@hachyderm.io avatar

    I absolutely love what my body does to this top. 🤭

    DivineKestrel,
    @DivineKestrel@chaosfem.tw avatar

    @Impossible_PhD

    "You will read this first. Then, this. Then this, last."

    Impossible_PhD, to random
    @Impossible_PhD@hachyderm.io avatar

    I am apparently In A Mood writing next week's SGW.

    DivineKestrel,
    @DivineKestrel@chaosfem.tw avatar

    @OftOverthinking @Impossible_PhD It was "not conscious" in much the same way that so much of whiteness is "not conscious," which is exactly the problem.

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