So I was once arguing with someone about single-parent households.
They brought up that having both parents in the home is the best option for the child. I argued that if one of the parents is abusive, it’s in the best interest of the child to have a single-parent household instead.
They then demanded studies/sources to back up my claim, and berated me when I answered “Are you demanding that I provide scientific proof that not having an abuser in the home is best for the child?”
People don’t have to give extremely detailed answers (or any answers) about their experience if they don’t want to.
I’m just curious about people’s thoughts about being single, how they view it, along with if being in a relationship lived up to their expectations compared to being single.
I’m a believer in human connections and sharing experiences. Curiosity drives my need for answers and different points of view.
My orientation also makes it difficult to parse answers based my own point of view, so I posted to get answers from folks who more than likely have had a much different experience.
“Girls desire a knight in shining armor to come sweep them off their feet!” — my pastor
For the longest time, I struggled because I was told all my life what a “woman’s purpose” was, and my desires never lined up with that. Felt like a freak because I never desired romance, sex, or partnership with a man (or anyone else, for that matter). If that was my purpose, was I supposed to will myself to want that for myself? Was I doomed to be alone forever? Was I wrong to want to pursue adventure and things that I wanted?
If my desire ≠ God’s desire (which was apparently union with a man at some point in the future), then my desires were… wrong. Maybe/probably even evil.
So I fucked up my life trying to follow that and fit into that mold. I did things I never wanted to do because it was the “right thing” to do in the eyes of God.
After I escaped, I never really recovered. But… I discovered a lot about myself.
I did bearded dragon rescues & fostering, I got into cosplay, learned how to sew stuffed animals, got some mental health care, rekindled my love for nature… all by myself. I learned to love me and not base my worth on what other folks believe I should do or how I should behave. I don’t have a partner who gets to dictate my personality. I got to grow on my own.
I’m still coming to terms with… a lot of things about myself, but now I’m able to grow freely instead of being confined to such a small pot.
Don’t let people define who or what you are, or what your purpose is in life. Only you get to do that. It’s both terrifying and freeing, but you can do this.
Hi, I have recalled that I had been invited to post here sometime ago while I had some other issue going on, which I think it involved Reddit. Right now, I’m feeling okay, but perhaps feeling a little worried, and I’m wondering if I could talk about it here even though I’m on the spectrum as I had been diagnosed in the...
Here’s what I do: I help. In little ways. I don’t have a lot to offer to things physically or financially, but I help in ways I am able.
Foster animals. Volunteer at soup kitchens or food banks. Plant a garden. Let flowers grow on your lawn. Donate books to a “little free library”. Put out video tutorials. Sign petitions. Offer to answer questions in your area of expertise. Recycle. Put out kind words & encouragement to strangers. Donate blood or plasma.
Honestly? Do what is in your power to make the spaces around you positive and beautiful. It doesn’t have to be “huge” contributions, because not all of us have the power to do everything, but we certainly have the power to do something.
And don’t forget: you are an important part of this world, too. So take care of yourself and do what makes you happy, as well.
Been homeless over 6 years. My social services agency, high turnover. Being female , almost all my case managers have been female, standard practice....
Most of the female-centric Lemmy communities are now abandoned. I’m sure the hostility did not help that. Don’t blame them. I’d never suggest Lemmy as a space for women.
TwoXChromosome is also dead. Witchy-type instances are abandoned, too. It’s so sad, because I’ve had the most lively and supportive conversations in those places.
There is a grave problem with the Lemmy ecosystem system if women do not feel safe / comfortable using it.
We’ve been separated for over seven years, but we are still legally married. I have been filing taxes separately since then. This year, I sent a message to his VOIP phone number to ask if he was able to file his own taxes this year. He didn’t respond to me, and I let it go. I didn’t want to bother him, and assumed he...
Could you post a photo of your cat and tell me what makes them so special?
My cat passed away around 2 years ago now. I miss him a lot, but just haven’t been financially stable enough to adopt another....
Golden-cheeked Woodpecker - San Pancho, Nayarit, Mexico (www.dropbox.com)
Poppy Playtime Is the Latest Horror Video Game to Get the Movie Treatment - IGN (www.ign.com)
‘Huge’ proportion of mental health conditions in Australia found to be caused by childhood maltreatment (www.theguardian.com)
Almost a quarter of the 1.8m cases of depression, anxiety and substance disorders could be prevented, researchers find...
1st Rule of Mental Health (lemmy.world)
I’m told the source is Usagi Drop.
deleted_by_author
How long have you gone without being in a romantic relationship?
How much time have you spent being single?...
Why haven't you taken the bear pill? (jlai.lu)
Tap for contextSome woman on the internet said she would feel safer spending a night in the woods with a random bear rather than with a random man
What did you get told as a child that you realised was a lie as you got older?
Feeling somewhat worried and on autistic spectrum (lemmy.world)
Hi, I have recalled that I had been invited to post here sometime ago while I had some other issue going on, which I think it involved Reddit. Right now, I’m feeling okay, but perhaps feeling a little worried, and I’m wondering if I could talk about it here even though I’m on the spectrum as I had been diagnosed in the...
Why are male social workers so different?
Been homeless over 6 years. My social services agency, high turnover. Being female , almost all my case managers have been female, standard practice....
Should I file a missing person's report for my spouse?
We’ve been separated for over seven years, but we are still legally married. I have been filing taxes separately since then. This year, I sent a message to his VOIP phone number to ask if he was able to file his own taxes this year. He didn’t respond to me, and I let it go. I didn’t want to bother him, and assumed he...