@ephemeromorph@topspicy.social
@ephemeromorph@topspicy.social avatar

ephemeromorph

@ephemeromorph@topspicy.social

I am some sentient meat called Voybridge. Autistic and autigender. I love Judas Priest, spreadsheets and farting. Fursonas (scalesonas): monitor lizard, crocodile. I am mainly here to shitpost and to boost lovely art.

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ephemeromorph, to random
@ephemeromorph@topspicy.social avatar

On Mastermind, the number of passes is taken into account when tie-breaking. But there's no penalty for a wrong answer. So why do any of the contestants pass? If you don't know the answer, just say 'bum'.

ephemeromorph, to random
@ephemeromorph@topspicy.social avatar

Google search: Can my employer dismiss me for X
Google: Yes, your employer can fire you for not letting them shit in your hair
Me: Oh wait, the internet's mostly American, isn't it
Google search: Can my employer dismiss me for X UK
Google: lol no, not unless you set fire to someone or pissed on their shoes

ephemeromorph, to Palestine
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Etsy bans products with the slogan 'From the river to the sea' (referencing Palestine). But they allow pro-Israel products. I've deleted my Etsy account I've had for 16 years. Fuck 'em.

ephemeromorph, to random
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You know how in Saints Row IV, you get a 20-minute tutorial on driving cars, then your character immediately gets the ability to fly, hilariously negating the need to drive?

Imagine a game that teaches you its elaborate crafting system, then you immediately find a supermarket where you can just buy all the shit you need and it's not even that expensive. Hahaha

ephemeromorph, to random
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Why are Boomers so shit at computers when their generation invented the fuckers?

ephemeromorph, to random
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https://gazaesims.com/ You can buy esims (data-only virtual sim cards) usable in Israel or Egypt, and then email screen caps of the QR codes to this site. They'll get the esims to people in Gaza so they can stay online, use WhatsApp, etc.

ephemeromorph, to random
@ephemeromorph@topspicy.social avatar

Having a piss and listening to gabber to calm down after being asked to do something stupid at work that I hate (manually generate some Excel bar charts from my manager's hand-calculated data instead of using my automatic spreadsheet that makes the charts from the data actually in the master spreadsheets. We already published the hand-calculated figures to the company so we 'have' to keep using them for 'consistency' even though they're wrong. Thank fuck this doesn't affect the public.)

ephemeromorph, to random
@ephemeromorph@topspicy.social avatar

Boston terriers look kinda cat-like, as dogs go. I wonder if it would be possibly to selectively breed a dog that looks just like a cat, but it's still genetically a dog. Would be funny to see a cat barking!

ephemeromorph,
@ephemeromorph@topspicy.social avatar

@WhyNotZoidberg As in hyenas?

ephemeromorph, to random
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I will never read the tone indicator '/pos' (supposed to be 'positive') as anything other than 'piece of shit'.

ephemeromorph,
@ephemeromorph@topspicy.social avatar

I dislike tone indicators in general. Just write the words instead of expecting me to memorise all your little abbreviations!

Even more infuriating, tone indicators are often touted as 'helping' autistic people. They don't help me; they make me do more work! You've given me more work to do and patted yourself on the back for helping me. Might as well shit in my hand and tell me it's a sausage.

ephemeromorph, to random
@ephemeromorph@topspicy.social avatar

When people say 'I would trust so-and-so with my life', what does that actually entail? I know it means 'I trust so-and-so immensely', but - I trust most people with my life? I'm probably not that hard to kill but I feel safe in the knowledge that no-one is going to kill me, because humans generally don't do that to each other.

Even if you presented most people with a button that would kill 1 random person consequence-free, most people would not press it! Because that's abhorrent!

ephemeromorph, to random
@ephemeromorph@topspicy.social avatar

I wish I had a crest like a cockatoo or something, so I could fluff it or flatten it to show my excitement or displeasure at something.

ephemeromorph, to random
@ephemeromorph@topspicy.social avatar

Jeremiah 24:2 "One basket had very good figs, even like the figs that are first ripe: and the other basket had very naughty figs, which could not be eaten, they were so bad."
https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Jeremiah%2024&version=KJV

Fascinated by the use of the word 'naughty' (many other versions replace it with 'bad'). I'm guessing it's an old-timey use of the word related to 'naught' (as in 'all for naught') but it's very funny to a modern reader.

ephemeromorph, to random
@ephemeromorph@topspicy.social avatar

I have a non-rhotic accent so I say 'auk' and 'orc' the same.

ephemeromorph,
@ephemeromorph@topspicy.social avatar

@WhyNotZoidberg Haha yeah, exactly that.

ephemeromorph, to random
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South Africa takes Israel to the International Court of Justice over its genocidal actions towards Palestine. https://www.aljazeera.com/news/2023/12/29/south-africa-files-case-at-icj-accusing-israel-of-genocidal-acts-in-gaza You know you've fucked up when even South Africa thinks you've gone too far.

guffo, to random
@guffo@topspicy.social avatar

You just know for certain that Elon Musk drew the Cybertruck in crayon on the back of a napkin and waved it at a sad, browbeaten engineer while screaming “MAEK DAT! MAEK DAT!”

ephemeromorph,
@ephemeromorph@topspicy.social avatar

@guffo I keep thinking about how he described it as 'the car Blade Runner would drive'.

ephemeromorph, to random
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The problem with 'teen' as a content rating is that the grouping 'teen' includes people who were 12 yesterday and people who will be 20 tomorrow.

ephemeromorph, to random
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Why isn't Fallout New Vegas on Switch when Skyrim is?

ephemeromorph, to random
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Merry Christmoth https://www.lbc.co.uk/news/tesco-recalls-christmas-stuffing-mix-because-it-may-contain-moths/

ephemeromorph, to random
@ephemeromorph@topspicy.social avatar

Alternative to 'eat and run': 'scran and scram'.

ephemeromorph, to random
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I was going to say that Horizon Forbidden West was my game of the year, but I looked it up and it came out last year. Was it really that long ago?! My sense of the passing of time feels fucked.

Not sure if I've even played anything that came out in 2023.

ephemeromorph,
@ephemeromorph@topspicy.social avatar

I think I got confused with the Horizon Forbidden West release date because the Burning Shores DLC came out THIS year.

It was good, but I think the Frozen Wilds DLC from Zero Dawn was better.

Gosunkugi, to random
@Gosunkugi@topspicy.social avatar

Ricky Gervais can fuck off whenever he likes. So tired of his holier than thou right to offend.

ephemeromorph,
@ephemeromorph@topspicy.social avatar

@Gosunkugi People who base their comedy on being 'offensive' turn into such pissbabies whenever anyone actually is offended by it.

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