@geordie@aus.social
@geordie@aus.social avatar

geordie

@geordie@aus.social

Basketball statistician, scuba diver, amateur chef, motorcyclist, language nerd, computer toucher, happy snapper, pretengineer. I am like if James Bond was unattractive, uncharismatic and not misogynistic.

Catholic (religious), cataholic (really into my cat)

The Fediverse's control cis guy. Like that exactly-a-kilogram they keep under a glass hood in France.

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geordie, to random
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I asked for lidocaine at the chemist, the chemist immediately started acting like I'd asked for oxycontin.

"It's unusual to ask for medicines by their chemical name, why do you need it?"

"I have an ulcer on the roof of my mouth."

"You should use mouthwash."

"Weird that you call it mouthwash and not Listerine. I'm doing that, but it still hurts and I'd like you to tell me where the lidocaine is."

geordie,
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"Have you used it before."

"Yes, I didn't make it to 44 without experiencing pain and it occurring to me to use a topical analgesic."

geordie, to random
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Innovative!

From: @verge
https://mastodon.social/@verge/112486868652615309

geordie, to random
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A lot of action movies have a central plot of a massive explosion from the bad guys killing heaps of folks in an iconic building, but in reality if you blew up a relative handful of water treatment plants, electrical substations, sewage facilities and all those railways stations that get real busy at peak hour it’d probably be several orders of magnitude worse. Just thoughts.

geordie, to random
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In the office. This is becoming a habit.

geordie, to random
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Nothing says "I wasn't expecting to support Windows" like "c:\program files\software\usr\local\bin"

geordie, to random
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Today I am working in the office, which is like regular work but instead of being at home there's a place owned by the employer you go to.

geordie,
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@jpm well, quite.

geordie, to random
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Sometimes the president of a nation hostile to the US just dies in a helicopter crash.

geordie, to random
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OH:

"Have you tried turning it off... ?"

"... and back on again, yeah I have."

"No, just turning it off."

geordie, to random
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Can you get GU10 or MR16 bulbs or lights that aren't spots/downs?

Kels_316, to random
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apparently drowning can either be fatal or non-fatal, so that's good to know.

geordie,
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@Kels_316 "the entirety of human knowledge."

geordie, to random
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There's a new button in Outlook to request invitees to attend a meeting in-person, because the default is online now.

geordie,
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@jpm I'm seeing it in Outlook too.

geordie, to random
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When recipes call for a 4cm piece of ginger I feel like there was an agreement on uniformity in the two other dimensions that I missed.

ausfestivus, to random
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Advocating for the closure of internal email and force everyone to use Teams. Email is where your team's knowledge goes to die.

geordie,
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@liamvhogan @ausfestivus using Teams. Email is dead.

geordie,
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@jpm @liamvhogan @ausfestivus all MS PaaS services are just SharePoint, except for Azure Storage. Which is also just SharePoint.

geordie, to random
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LBT: Apple very deliberately went with “your next computer isn’t a computer” as a strategy and now they sell a computer and a “not a computer” and everyone is scratching their heads.

geordie,
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@elzbethmrgn Millennials also feel embarrassed when they are on their laptop on Mastodon and they take their phone out of their pocket absent-mindedly to check what the little Mastodon is doing.

geordie,
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"What's this?"

"A laptop computer."

"Cool! What's this?"

"The exact same computer but we removed its keyboard and its understanding of what a file is."

geordie, to random
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So we used to have a nanny. When the kid first went to school we had a new parent's information evening where they told us all sorts of boring stuff, some interesting stuff, and concluded with "and after school care is extremely limited so good luck with that goodbye" except said as one word over the space of about a second, the principal then decamped. When we rushed to book afterschool care they could accommodate him Monday, Wednesday and Friday, but not Tuesday or Thursday, so we paid a woman we'll call Jo (because that's her name) to pick him up from school two days a week, and look after him at our place until 6pm. As the years went on, he'd come to get public transport to her house, she'd look after him there while he did homework etc. and bring him home at 6pm. We no longer needed her as of this year, kid is old enough to look after himself.

geordie,
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There's a woman downstairs, she's roughly three hundred years old, in a brightly patterned and coloured jump suit. I have bought bottles of milk that weigh more than she looks like she weighs, and height-wise she comes up to roughly my stomach. Jo, who when not looking after kids works for a service that provides in-home care for folks who aren't quite bad enough to be in an old folks' home, got a call at work that one of their clients is locked out. Jo realised she lives in my building and there's a lock box hidden on the ground floor with a code that contains a spare building swipe and front door key.

geordie,
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Jo gives me instructions on how to access the lock box, I retrieve the key and tell the woman "let's get you up to your home" She chatters the whole time, and she's the MOST INTERESTING PERSON EVER. She used to be a ballerina, but a severely curved spine put her out of that. She tells me she weighs 30 kilos (my twelve year old son is 32 kilos I think), and she explains how she smuggled her cat here from France. The cat is called Chatte, which is French for pussy, and she locked herself out looking for an Amazon parcel that had been delivered somewhere she couldn't find.

geordie,
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I get her settled, make sure she knows where her actual key is and she asks, feebly, "would you mind awfully if I had your number?" Absolutely no problem at all, I wrote it down for her. Absolute dame.

geordie,
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Addendum: it turns out this is the woman whose door was bashed down by the fire brigade last week. She rolled on an emergency button in her sleep and didn’t answer when the folks monitoring the button called. She woke up to the fire brigade at the end of her bed and her front door in several pieces. Well she’s got another set of eyes looking out for her now. I wonder if we should set up a phone tree or something.

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