There's a sweet spot for writing porn and it's halfway between 'not getting laid at all ever' and the state I'm in at the moment which is 'absolutely feral for this one guy in particular.'
You need a bit of sand in an oyster to create a pearl, but if you have too much sand you've just killed your fucking oyster and yeah see even my analogies are terrible because I am far too fucking horny.
Tabitha Rayne is my favourite editor because 90% of her comments are her going 'holy shit THIS LINE' and that is such a boost to my fragile little writer ego. Even when it's a line like this, which I shamelessly stole from a guy whose dick I used to ride.
*with suitable safety precautions, in order to make an extremely important point about ridiculous sex-focused articles in the press, and also climate change
I think that's my second favourite food-related post. The first one, of COURSE, being this one about the time a company sent me a giant chocolate dick and me and a fuckpal competitively deep-throated it. https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/valentines-day-chocolate-dick/
Patreons! I promise no shenanigans this month where I attempt to swing the vote, this month it's just five pieces of smut for you to choose from (and I'll record the top THREE instead of the usual TWO because I'm a people-pleasing little bitch) https://www.patreon.com/posts/vote-for-what-to-86381587
My brain: remember how much fun we're having being single, yeah? Let's not get distracted just because a hot guy showed up.
My vagina: I HAVE AN ALTERNATIVE SUGGESTION
I'm going away next week and I'll have a LOT of bus journeys. I have spent all my budget on tickets, pls recommend me good (free) books I can download for Kindle?
"And so began the delicious trials of every kink I could tolerate, sometimes scripted together and other times a delightful surprise. But it wasn’t until one evening, a year into it our explorations, that she finally got her fully closed fist into my stubborn cunt..."
Just been listening to @Mollysdailykiss read this piece as #AudioPorn and holy fucking shit, her performance of it is absolutely incredible?!?
It'll go up on Patreon in a few weeks, and the site the week after, I just wanted to take a moment to breathe deeply and shed a few tears of joy at how lucky I am to get to work with such astonishing people.
Fuck BlueSky, fuck Threads, I wrote a little thing about why I'm hurling all my eggs into Mastodon's basket.
https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/mastodon/ Mostly written so I have an excuse to tell people on Twitter to stop DMing/@-ing important stuff to me, because it'll be easier to step away if I'm not constantly worried that my absence will make someone... Mad At Me.
@girlonthenet I too am working on a blog post for Mastodon being the only reasonable choice for adult / NSFW content creators.
Mostly to convince the artists I admire to leave Twitter already.
Never in my LIFE have I felt fancier than when typing 'Breakfast in Paris' into my trip planning spreadsheet.
Never in my LIFE will I feel more like a fraud than when I actually arrivein Paris and end up in the Burger King that I have already established is nearby.
@girlonthenet In my head canon any Burger King in Paris has a snooty waiter with a bowtie, and the burgers have shaved truffles and caviar under the lettuce.
I still believe this despite having been to Paris.