mockpaperscissors.com, 5 months ago to random

https://mps110.files.wordpress.com/2018/08/vote.jpg?w=640Only asking the questions

Last night I read Maine Secretary of State Shenna Bellows’ (D) decision to boot Hair Füror off the primary ballot, and it is reasonably readable to the lay person. Her argument, as I suspected was all about qualifications to be on the ballot, and not a lot about insurrection.

Here’s the argument (as I understand it):

• Section 3 of the Fourteenth Amendment says that someone who committed an insurrection is not eligible to be an officer of the United States.
• Verifying that candidates are eligible to be on Maine’s Primary Ballot requires the Secretary of State to look at ALL of the qualifying conditions.
• Hair Füror, because of Jan. 6 Stupid Coup, therefore is not qualified.

As the qualifications to be president are actually in the Constitution, but the conduct of the election is up to the states, so she has standing to make this decision. There was all sorts of arguments about Due Process, Free Speech, and so on, but it all comes down to qualifications, and that is all she ruled on. In effect it is saying that the insurrection clause is now part of Article 2 Section 1.

So it is very pristine and clear that this will force SCOTUS’s hand to rule on what the 14th Amendment actually says. I don’t think they can punt, but they can delay. Both Maine and Colorado cite a previous Gorsuch ruling as precedent, so at the moment it is likely that he is a 4th vote against Trump, so only one more justice needs to flip, probably 1) Thomas (looking at his LEGACY!), B) Kegger (who wants to be Chief Justice when he grows up), or iii) Coathanger (who doesn’t give a crap about anything other than babies). I know I’m assuming a lot in this, and Imma blogger lowly and squat, not a lawyer let alone an esteemed SCOTUS justice on the take, and this is not a betting parlor. But I’m putting my Quatloos down on this, anyway.

The obvious counter-argument will be that the Stupid Coup was not an insurrection, and lotsa luck with that.

Other states where challenges have been made, including Minnesota, Michigan and — hours after the Maine ruling — California, have determined that Fat Nixon is eligible to be on the ballot. The U.S. Supreme Court wil have to settle the issue.

Maine has 1 (one) electoral vote that Hair Füror won in 2016 and 2020, so this decision does impact (in theory); he never got within a country mile of winning Colorado’s electoral votes.

https://mockpaperscissors.com/2023/12/29/remember-the-maine/

mockpaperscissors.com, 1 month ago to random

https://mockpaperscissors.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/killer-rabbit.jpg?w=640Monty Python had a point about that rabbit

One of the under-reported stories about Speaker Johnson’s sudden come-to-Jesus moment in the recent successful passage of funding for Ukraine (and Israel and Tawain, amongst other items), is what actually got to him and convinced him it was the right thing to do.

As we all know, Jeebus Johnson dithered for months on delivering the bill, and then suddenly and seemingly at the last possible moment, he was all in.

Was it an arm twisting session from President Handsome Joe Biden? Certainly not.

Was it a damning classified briefing from the NSA? Surely you jest. (“And quit calling me Shirley” —beat you to it!)

Was it a delegation of Ukrainian Evangelicals?

Ding! We have a winner!

In the hours before Speaker Mike Johnson (R-LA) said he was willing to lose his speakership to help Ukraine, he met with the evangelical leader of Ukraine’s National Prayer Breakfast, who says he told Johnson they could create “an army of Jesus.”

It was Pavlo Unguryan’s third reported meeting with Johnson this year. As one Christian Republican insider asserted after Saturday’s House approval of $61 billion for Ukraine aid, evangelical messaging “definitely tipped” Johnson and House Republicans.

U.S. reporting has focused on national-security briefings cracking Johnson’s months of paralysis. But the intel messaging has been consistently dire since Russia invaded. Only in the past several months has “religious freedom” gained momentum as a casus belli, appearing in Ukrainian and U.S. religious media and now embraced by evangelical Republicans.

And the religious and intel motivations complement each other. National-security warnings that Ukraine will fall without U.S. aid would take on heightened urgency if Johnson started to see Ukraine as an evangelical redoubt and potential wellspring of missionary action in a godless Europe.

In short, what got Johnson over the finish line was the possibility that Ukraine (and others) could end up being the equivalent of the Bible Belt in Europe:

According to CBN, [Gary Marx, president of Defenders of Faith and Religious Freedom in Ukraine] “asked Johnson to view support for Ukraine, long considered the Bible Belt of Europe, through the lens of fighting for religious liberty.”

How Johnson understands religious freedom was hinted at by Marx, who noted that Johnson has “worked on those issues as an attorney for decades.” In fact, Johnson’s legal career included work for the Alliance Defending Freedom, advocating for anti-LGBTQ+ laws including a sodomy ban and criminalizing gay sex.

[Pavlo “Pavel” Unguryan is a Ukrainian political and evangelical leader] had floated the idea of Ukraine as a European Bible Belt earlier in the week. On Thursday I wrote about Unguryan telling Family Research Council President Tony Perkins that Ukraine is “to be the Bible Belt” for Europe, “such a liberal continent.”

Ah, our old friend White Christian Nationalist Tony Perkins —the head of a Southern Poverty Law Center-designated hate group Family Research Council— surfaces in the story. Should guessed it.

Perkins underscored the point: “So you see the vision of Ukraine as being kind of a Bible Belt?” Unguryan said, “Absolutely yes … we are like the Bible Belt for the liberal, European continent,” touting “pro-family [and] pro-life issues.”

Unguryan told Perkins he envisioned a “strategic partnership between Christians, evangelicals, conservatives in U.S. and Christians and conservatives in Ukraine to do our missionary ministry, global missionary ministry, and to protect our values.”

Nothing good ever comes from Perkins. But I digest…

Anyway all sorts of Evangelicals from The Fellowship enter from stage right. (You might recall The Fellowship/The Family from the old Senator Ensign sex scandal (“the sheep with a secret sorrow”) and their frat house domicile in D.C. for Republican weirdo evangelicals who covered-up his affair) come into the story:

In 2021, I revealed that Unguryan was the main Ukraine liaison for the organization behind the original U.S. prayer breakfast, the Fellowship Foundation, the secretive Christian group also known as The Family.

And it goes on and on, and I should probably stop excerpting from his post and say go read it. Crooks And Liars has a post or two that are worth the time to read, too.

The point I want to make here is that sometimes in politics, actors like Jeebus Johnson do the right thing for all the wrong reasons. He did not care that Putin and Russia were going to wipe out Ukraine until he learned that they were Brothers in Christ, and he could only support it then.

We have a dangerous theocrat second in line for the presidency. This is terrifying to me because he is apparently even more malleable that Pence to actually acting on his beliefs, untethered from the rules, customs, and laws separating Church and State.

Johnson is not a hero, he is a crusader.

https://mockpaperscissors.com/2024/04/22/jeebus-johnson-and-the-last-crusades/

mockpaperscissors.com, 5 months ago to random

https://mps110.files.wordpress.com/2023/04/340004172_6275042322554613_6298732625684325736_n.jpg?w=640It’s subtle, too bad the GOP is not.

(Hat tip: Scissorhead Skinny-D)

It’s about racism; it was always about racism:

CBS News analysis: Most Republicans agree with “poisoning the blood” language

As Donald Trump dominates the GOP nomination race and some of his inflammatory comments find favor with the party faithful, CBS News measured how the public feels about his “poisoning the blood” language. A striking number of voters agree with this description of immigrants who enter the U.S. illegally, and among Republicans, associating the remarks with Trump himself makes them even likelier to agree.

This is in a graphic, so I’m putting it in words:

The poll found that more than 70% of Republicans agree with Hair Füror that immigrants who enter the country illegally are “poisoning the blood” of the nation.

BUT when the statement was directly attributed to TFG, support grew to 82% of Republicans.

I have been lectured by good liberals since the 2016 Goat Rodeo that it was not about racism, that if we just listened to Republicans we would see that we were wrong, it was NOT racism (they hectored) it was about economic insecurity and a feeling of being left behind. They told me I was missing the nuance. And they would cite Dr. Arlie Russell Hochschild and tsk-tsk me for being so reflexive in accusing Republicans of racism.

I will accept written apologies from everyone who lectured me.

https://mockpaperscissors.com/2024/01/14/gop-white-like-me-2/

mockpaperscissors.com, 3 months ago to random

https://mps110.files.wordpress.com/2012/06/crying-cat1.gif?w=640

Guys, Katie Schwartz, who is frequent contributor to MPS, has bone cancer and it doesn’t look good. Some of her pals in the comedy industry have set up a Go Fund Me to help pay for her expenses as she fights Stage 4 (probably goes into hospice care).

If you ever had a laugh at one of her jokes here (or on the many shows she used to write for), please consider donating.

Schwartzie is a fighter, and I don’t expect her to go down without a punch(line). She’s a brick.

Many thanks,

TG

PS – she would eff’ing hate that I put a teary-eyed cat on this post, and probably give me hell.

Sticking this on top.

https://mockpaperscissors.com/2024/03/10/scissorhead-down-2/

mockpaperscissors.com, 4 months ago to random

When dinner is two minutes late

“I’m STARVING!”

https://mockpaperscissors.com/2024/01/15/midday-palate-cleanser-2035/

mockpaperscissors.com, 4 months ago to random

In a matter of weeks, Ron will bend the knee and endorse Donald Trump. pic.twitter.com/qu68FJHKF9

— Gavin Newsom (@GavinNewsom) December 1, 2023

Last November during that odd debate he had with Bootsie.

https://mockpaperscissors.com/2024/01/22/gov-gavin-newsom-nailed-it/

mockpaperscissors.com, 4 months ago to random

https://mps110.files.wordpress.com/2024/02/trump-or-elvis.jpg?w=640&h=914

Well, if were talking late stage Elvis, take a merde and die on the floor of a Vegas bathroom, sure.

Ann Coulter agrees:

Maybe he could die? https://t.co/TQPi5Bx3XB

— Ann Coulter (@AnnCoulter) February 4, 2024

https://mockpaperscissors.com/2024/02/04/hes-mental/

mockpaperscissors.com, 20 days ago to random

https://mockpaperscissors.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/trump-rage.jpg?w=640

Somewhere, Barbra Streisand is laughing:

As ‘The Apprentice’ Seeks Cannes Sale, Trump Team Sends Cease and Desist Letter to Block Film’s Release (EXCLUSIVE)

Attorneys for Donald Trump have sent a cease and desist letter to the filmmakers behind “The Apprentice” in an effort to block its U.S. sale and release. It warns the team behind the film not to pursue a distribution deal, according to two people who have read the letter. “The Apprentice,” which looks at Trump’s early years as a real estate developer and his relationship with Roy Cohn, premiered at the Cannes Film Festival this week.

[…] The movie, which was independently produced, stars Sebastian Stan as Trump and Jeremy Strong as Cohn. It presents a damning portrait of the former president as an ethically compromised, philanderer who stiffs contractors and cuts deals with the mob to get his buildings completed. It includes other controversial details, including a scene where Trump rapes his first wife, Ivana, and depicts him abusing amphetamines to lose weight, as well as undergoing liposuction and plastic surgery.

He keeps drawing attention to this movie, and now it is bound to be boffo box office (and we wager that he’ll brag about THAT and/or demand a cut). And his base will flock to it to live vicariously for an hour as The Donald.

Ewww, gross.

https://mockpaperscissors.com/2024/05/25/heres-some-stupid-to-start-your-weekend-11/

mockpaperscissors.com, 3 months ago to random

https://mps110.files.wordpress.com/2009/11/traitor-joe-pointy-surreal1.jpg?w=640“I’m feeling relevant again.”

It’s much too early for this much stupid:

FIRST IN PLAYBOOK — A documentary about the life of former senator and Democratic vice presidential candidate Joe Lieberman is in the works, Daniel Lippman has learned. The film, called “Joe Lieberman: Centered,” includes interviews with Tom Daschle, Donna Shalala, Cindy McCain, Lindsey Graham, Tom Nides and more. Executive producer Bruce Gould said director Jonathan Gruber (who has directed documentaries on former Israeli PM Menachem Begin and Benjamin Netanyahu’s brother Yoni) and producer Rob Schwartz are working with a number of potential major distributors and that PBS has expressed interest and will be approaching HBO. They are planning premieres starting in early September. https://vimeo.com/bep/review/813655766/df5f3cf17b

Can you imagine the box office for this one? Other than his wife, I cannot think of a single soul who is feeling the Joe-mentum to see this thing, but if you want to make a day of it, you could also catch the new Trump Musical.

(“The curtain rose at 8:00, the audience rose at 8:07… There wasn’t a dry seat in the house.”)

https://mockpaperscissors.com/2024/02/20/heres-some-stupid-to-start-your-day-186/

mockpaperscissors.com, 3 months ago to random

https://mps110.files.wordpress.com/2024/02/screen-shot-2024-02-25-at-5.25.21-pm.png?w=640(WaPo)

Yes, a basket of lemons, and one is moldy. Seems right.

https://mockpaperscissors.com/2024/02/25/the-wapo-glitch-continues-5/

mockpaperscissors.com, 6 months ago to random

https://mps110.files.wordpress.com/2023/11/elon-country-music.jpg?w=640&h=800

This was floating around the Socials the other day, cracked me up.

https://mockpaperscissors.com/2023/11/24/great-memes-cont-5/

mockpaperscissors.com, 3 months ago to random

Happy Hour News

https://mps110.files.wordpress.com/2018/03/dy-5zujv4aafgkr.jpg?w=640McDougal is on the right, but where’s Stormy?

Well this is a long shot (or more accurately a very short shot, IYKWIMAITYD):

New York prosecutors are seeking a limited gag order barring former President Donald Trump from talking about witnesses and court staff to “protect the integrity of this criminal proceeding” ahead of his trial next month on charges he falsified business records.

[…] Lawyers for Trump, meanwhile, filed a pre-trial motion where they asked the judge to bar testimony from three of the DA’s key witnesses in the case — former Trump lawyer Michael Cohen, adult film star Stormy Daniels and former Playboy model Karen McDougal. The filing paints Cohen and Daniels as liars, and says McDougal’s testimony would be “unduly prejudicial.”

So, to summarize: 1) shut-up Hair Füror and B) do not take any testimony from the three principle witnesses. Yeah, that will happen.

I just hope the short-fingered vulgarian didn’t get into Junior Mint’s stash…

https://mockpaperscissors.com/2024/02/26/news-that-will-drive-you-to-drink-2060/

mockpaperscissors.com, 2 months ago to random

https://mps110.files.wordpress.com/2024/03/f9dca129f29f0f74.png?w=640&h=640Jr. Mints’ Emotional Support Cougar, Kimberly Guilfoyle

I rest my case: ETTD.

https://mockpaperscissors.com/2024/03/24/are-you-better-off-now-than-you-were-four-years-ago/

mockpaperscissors.com, 3 months ago to random

https://mps110.files.wordpress.com/2022/07/voting-from-jimmy-t.jpg?w=640&h=422H/T Scissorhead Jimmy-T

There really is only one take-away from today’s disappointing ruling from Harlan Crow’s illegitimate SCOTUS (hey, he bought it fair and square!), and that is that only we can fix our democracy.

I’m a huge believer in institutions, and so it pains me to note that all of our institutions have failed us, especially the courts, and all formal efforts to hold Hair Füror accountable for the Stupid Coup —impeachment, criminal prosecution and now the 14th Amendment’s insurrection clause— have failed, hopefully some only temporarily.

The orange-tufted hate goblin has destroyed the order of things (probably permanently). If it wasn’t nailed down, he did a smash-and-grab, and if it was nailed down, he just did the smash. And he was mostly aided and abetted by a compliant press.

Like a game of Clue, the murder of our democratic traditions was 1) in the Boardroom, by B) CEO Greenback, using iii) Dark Money. We should have seen this coming; some of us did.

The unthinkable is already in play as the fascists really are going to nominate once-elected (kinda?), twice impeached, quintuply-indicted, 91-ily charged LOSER ex-prznit Stupid. The judiciary is not a firewall, the press is nonsensically both-sides’ing the eff out everything (“well sure he is a fascist, but the other guy is old!”).

If we had a killer message, there is no liberal media to broadcast it. We are on our own.

Now, being Irish (mostly), I know that every disaster is an opportunity, and we never look a gift opportunity in the mouth (like horses, you know?). The White Christian Nationalists have wildly overplayed their groping hands, from teachers and librarians to women and the LGBTQ community to people of color to non-Christians.

The only people not targeted are straight, white, cis Christian men. So far.

Remember: there are more of us than there are of them. And they are not adding anyone to their constituency. They are pushing people away, you know despite creating

We must win in 2024 by such a grand margin that it puts the fear of Dawg into our institutions just as the MAGA put the fear of TFG into them.

We can do this; we must resolve ourselves to work even harder. Get people registered to vote, and then get them to vote like their lives depend on it.

[Insert your own Winston Churchill ‘finest hour’ meme here.]

No one is going to save us, so we have to be the heroes in this story, and remember: heroes never let the monsters win.

https://mockpaperscissors.com/2024/03/04/heroes-never-let-the-monsters-win/

mockpaperscissors.com, 3 months ago to random

https://mps110.files.wordpress.com/2023/12/trump-terrified-noooo.png?w=640&h=345

It’s not the judgement I was hoping for, but this will still leave a mark:

New York Supreme Court Justice Arthur Engoron on Friday orderedformer president Donald Trump to pay more than $350 million in penalties, handing down a hefty penalty following a months-long civil trial in which Trump and others were accused of financial fraud by New York Attorney General Letitia James. Engoron also said Trump could not serve as an officer or a director for any New York company for three years. Trump has denied all wrongdoing and assailed the case.

Here’s what to know

Trump was not the only member of his family penalized Friday. Two of his adult children — Donald Trump Jr. and Eric Trump, who were also defendants in the case — were fined $4 million each. Both men were also blocked from serving as an officer or director for any New York corporation for two years.

And this, literally, is the Truth Social meltdown right after the judgment: he’s worried he looks fat.

https://mps110.files.wordpress.com/2024/02/trump-fat-.png?w=640&h=512Does this $350M Amero fine make me look fat?”

https://mockpaperscissors.com/2024/02/16/big-fraud-gets-big-fine/

mockpaperscissors.com, 6 months ago to random

https://mps110.files.wordpress.com/2019/01/indiana-jones-punches-a-nazi.jpeg?w=640Indiana Jones say, “Always punch the Nazi”

Two stories, essentially one cause: both Lions Gate Entertainment and Apple are not advertising on Space Karen’s social media platform. At least for the time being, they have joined IBM.

There probably will be more companies pulling out.

https://mockpaperscissors.com/2023/11/17/some-follow-up-on-birdchan/

mockpaperscissors.com, 5 months ago to random

Whatcha up to dude?

They are even jerks to each other.

(Direct link: https://imgur.com/gallery/FenT2TQ)

https://mockpaperscissors.com/2024/01/12/midday-palate-cleanser-2033/

mockpaperscissors.com, 2 months ago to random

https://mps110.files.wordpress.com/2022/11/sweet-relief.gif?w=640

Watters: Trump’s a salesman. Is the media saying there should be less bibles? pic.twitter.com/0PXTJw7DVj

— Acyn (@Acyn) April 2, 2024

Less Bibles or more Trump wine, Jesse?

https://mockpaperscissors.com/2024/04/03/heres-some-stupid-to-start-your-day-202/

mockpaperscissors.com, 23 days ago to random

https://mockpaperscissors.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/05/marjorie-taylor-greene-3-names.png?w=640

Good lord, she’s gone off the deep end:

I made sure that he knew.

The Biden DOJ and FBI were planning to assassinate Pres Trump and gave the green light.

Does everyone get it yet???!!!!

What are Republicans going to do about it?

I tried to oust our Speaker who funded Biden’s DOJ AND FBI, but Democrats stopped it. https://t.co/XSTevEQsNI pic.twitter.com/o0lUjcEdix

— Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene🇺🇸 (@RepMTG) May 21, 2024

Of course, according to Fat Nixon, presidents are allowed to assassinate their rivals.

https://mockpaperscissors.com/2024/05/22/projectionist-goes-off-deep-end/

mockpaperscissors.com, 24 days ago to random

https://mockpaperscissors.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/screen-shot-2023-10-03-at-1.18.26-pm-e1712069781323.png?w=640H/T @EdgeOfForever

Whaddya know, the Coward did not testify.

https://mockpaperscissors.com/2024/05/21/all-thats-left-is-the-shouting/

mockpaperscissors.com, 23 days ago to random

Happy Hour News

Cartoon of Martha Alito with a Stop The Steal flag and Ginni Thomas with a gallows on top of the Supreme Court.H/T Scissorhead Purplehead

Guys, there was ANOTHER FLAG AT ANOTHER ALITO HOUSE:

[…] Now, the New York Times reports that Alito flew another flag associated with Trump’s insurrection, the “Appeal to Heaven” flag, which was carried by insurrectionists on January 6. The flag was confirmed to have flown over Alito’s beach house in July and September 2023.

Note how the old Alito defenses are totally useless in the face of this new case. It can’t be chalked up to a dispute with a neighbor, unless the same neighbor happens to own property near Alito in two different states. The wife excuse is also threadbare. (Indeed, Alito, who blamed his wife in a response to the first Times story, has no comment in response to the second one.) And the excuse that it was “a heated time in January 2021” obviously does not explain why the Alito home continued to display insurrectionist flags two and a half years later.

Now maybe they will try to say that they also didn’t realize what the Appeal to Heaven flag signifies and that the Alitos coincidentally flew two different insurrectionist flags by mistake. But the meaning of this flag was well known on the far right; here is an articleabout it from 2021. You could invent a barely plausible story about how a non-insurrectionist would have a regular American flag on hand and fly it upside down in a fit of pique. It’s pretty hard to explain why they would also have an obscure flag used by Trump coup enthusiasts.

Can someone check on Dick Durban? hold a mirror under his nose and see if he’s still breathing? We need the Senate Judiciary Committee to act, and immediately: hearings NOW!

UPDATE 1: That new flag is some sort of Christian Nationalist flag, too. This just got very dark.

https://mockpaperscissors.com/2024/05/22/news-that-will-drive-you-to-drink-2107/

mockpaperscissors.com, 20 days ago to random

(Hat tip: Scissorhead Redhand)

https://mockpaperscissors.com/2024/05/25/and-now-a-musical-interlude-84/

mockpaperscissors.com, 17 days ago to random

https://mockpaperscissors.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/161113_smalscaleactivism.jpg?w=640

Stolen from the essential blog Annie Asks You:

You can file a citizen complaint of misconduct against Alito, which has already been prepared by Alden Hackmann, at votetosavedemocracy@gmail.com. Go to Dump.Alito.com. While you’re there, you can also file a complaint against Judge Aileen Cannon.

Hackmann has entered all the info you need; you just have to fill in your identifying info, print out the document, put a stamp on the envelope, and send it off. He also suggests sending a copy to Senate Judiciary Committee Chair Dick Durbin, writing “FYI–filed with the Supreme Court” at the top of the page, Hackmann writes, “to provide him with proof that there is a public outcry over Justice Alito’s bias,” and calling Durbin too. He provides Durbin’s phone numbers and address.

Annie has more to say at the post, but I think this call to action is the most important.

I can tell you from when I volunteered at my representative’s district office they pay attention to contacts and this is how they prioritize them:

1. showing up in person
2. getting physical mail
3. getting phone calls
4. getting email
5. getting faxes (believe it or not, people still use them)

There is nothing more that a member loves than showing up with a pile of mail, and dramatically proclaiming that (whatever action they are proposing) is popular with the people. Physical mail is the bomb (as the kids used to say).

If you guys have the time, please do this.

Sticking this on top: it’s that important.

https://mockpaperscissors.com/2024/05/28/activism-please/

mockpaperscissors.com, 16 days ago to random

This is worthy of your time to listen to at lunch today. If you are in your office, you might even want to have a few pals join you.

(Hat tip: https://progressivecafe.social/@TonyStark/112521121319647059)

https://mockpaperscissors.com/2024/05/29/lunchtime-listening-pleasure/

mockpaperscissors.com, 15 days ago to random

https://mockpaperscissors.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/trump-prison-the-apprentice-from-jimmy-t.png?w=640H/T Scissorhead JimmyT

More to come…

https://mockpaperscissors.com/2024/05/30/guilty-5/