@pathfinder@beige.party avatar

pathfinder

@pathfinder@beige.party

58 years old, ish (Yes, I'm sticking with this lie, because it still remains my only chance for immortality) Autistic and British. Into philosophy and spiritualism and pretty much anything that might explain the meaning of life, up to and including that it might really be 42.
Male, he/him

#ActuallyAutistic
#Autism
#Neurodiversity

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

ashleyspencer, to random
@ashleyspencer@autistics.life avatar

I got a message today from someone who was google searching looking for info about self-publishing and it gave my store link in the search results. So yay! I emailed them and will discuss further tomorrow. Pretty neat that google is already bringing self-published authors to the store. It also brought some visitors today to the book collection of self-published authors.

pathfinder,
@pathfinder@beige.party avatar

@ashleyspencer
👍😊

ashleyspencer, to random
@ashleyspencer@autistics.life avatar

I deleted all social media apps from my phone except for Mastodon and Reddit.

Facebook is nothing but ads telling me to lose weight. Instagram went from telling me to become an influencer to literally showing my posts to no one. X boxed me into a brand and won’t let me get out of it.

The last few days I tried to be a real person + talk about business things I’m excited about, and I just watched all the algorithms suppress it.

So just going to see how well my business can do without it.

pathfinder,
@pathfinder@beige.party avatar

@ashleyspencer
Hopefully it won't hurt, it may even help. You, if nothing else. :bear_hugs:

pathfinder,
@pathfinder@beige.party avatar

@ashleyspencer
That really doesn't sound healthy, to be honest. I'm not surprised you don't want to play the algorithms game any more.

ashleyspencer, to random
@ashleyspencer@autistics.life avatar

It's been like Christmas time with my store ever since I updated my logo to the "a store for autistic & neurodivergent adults" part.

Average order value is much higher, so people are spending more money. Google conversions are higher. Daily conversion rate doubled. Really genuinely did not expect that. I was just trying to do the right thing and stop excluding people.

I am super grateful for it.

pathfinder,
@pathfinder@beige.party avatar

@ashleyspencer
Such good news 😀

alexisbushnell, to actuallyautistic
@alexisbushnell@toot.wales avatar

Slightly concerned that the next week is going to destroy me but I'm going to do my best to balance all the peopling with special interests and alone time.

Saturday - @RepairCafe_Barry followed by Hypno Café.

Sunday - hopefully a walk.

Monday, Tuesday - work.

Wednesday - work, bake a birthday cake, community pantry.

Thursday - entire day of top secret birthday fun I've organised for my BFF.

Friday - collapse in a heap.

@actuallyautistic

pathfinder,
@pathfinder@beige.party avatar

@alexisbushnell @RepairCafe_Barry @actuallyautistic
Seems a lot, so :bear_hugs:

ashleyspencer, to random
@ashleyspencer@autistics.life avatar

Every day this little girl goes to the courtyard and screams. She’s the reason I took something to make me fall asleep while she was screaming outside last night.

She’s playing with other kids that are yelling nonstop until 9pm.

Too much for my autistic ears 🙉

pathfinder,
@pathfinder@beige.party avatar

@ashleyspencer
Sounds horrible. You could always be the mad woman who screams back at them, maybe it will put them off. 😀

MsHearthWitch, to random
@MsHearthWitch@wandering.shop avatar

Some days the 'tism just fucking gets ya man.

Between finding the tire flat, then running a meeting for an hour with a board member present (apparently it went well!), then having to get my tire fixed like right away...

So much masking...

Got home and spent like 2 hrs in bed watching instagram reels.

Please enjoy one of my favorites.

A tall white masc person wearing blue shorts, a white crop top, cowboy boots, cowboy hat and a grey bathrobe is dancing to the Rasputin song by Boney M. He dances in a very fun and cheeky manner.

pathfinder,
@pathfinder@beige.party avatar

@MsHearthWitch
:bear_hugs:

18+ janetlogan, to queer
@janetlogan@mas.to avatar

I'm thinking about this as my wardrobe choice for on Saturday. Pink and blue stripes, on a white woman. Opinions?

I haven't been to Pride in many years. As a who is also and an , I'm worried whether I can tolerate the crowds, and if I will have the for such an outing. I'll gauge spoons that morning I guess. A recent music festival was overwhelming. 🤷‍♀️

@spoonies

Full length view of one shoulder pink and blue striped dress. Janet's hair is pink and blonde.

pathfinder,
@pathfinder@beige.party avatar

@janetlogan @spoonies
The colour really suits you. 👍 😀

pathfinder,
@pathfinder@beige.party avatar

@janetlogan @spoonies
If the spoons are willing, I really hope you enjoy the day.

ashleyspencer, to random
@ashleyspencer@autistics.life avatar

Does anyone like keeping odd sleep hours?

I fall asleep between 6pm and 7:30pm every night and wake up between 2:30am to 4:30am.

Great thing about social media is that whatever time you are awake, there are always autistic and ND people around the world awake and online.

pathfinder,
@pathfinder@beige.party avatar

@Adventurer @ashleyspencer
Go to bed at 4am ish, get up at 11.59am, just to say that I've seen the morning 😆 Also, nap everyday since burnout.

ashleyspencer, to random
@ashleyspencer@autistics.life avatar

How is this?

Says “autistic & neurodivergent” now

pathfinder,
@pathfinder@beige.party avatar

@ashleyspencer
Looks perfect to me ❤️

ashleyspencer, (edited ) to random
@ashleyspencer@autistics.life avatar

I can contribute to #mosstodon :)

Added 3 little moss balls and 3 rocks with juniper moss to the fish tank for my future betta fish.

Once the new heater gets here I’ll start the cycle process.

pathfinder,
@pathfinder@beige.party avatar

@ashleyspencer
I was wondering how your in house cat entertainment unit was going on.

chevalier26, to random
@chevalier26@mastodon.social avatar

@actuallyautistic Anyone ever tell you that you were being "too negative" or a "Debby downer" when stating facts about something? Just happened to me earlier with my family. In this case it was reasons why I prefer not to travel often (routine change haha). The whole time I was thinking, "but I'm not trying to be negative..."

pathfinder,
@pathfinder@beige.party avatar

@chevalier26 @actuallyautistic
Most people will never understand our need to be alone, let alone the sheer joy and satisfaction it brings.
God know's why. But, unfortunately, it's on a par with their inability to understand anything that is too different from what they expect.

pathfinder,
@pathfinder@beige.party avatar

@chevalier26 @actuallyautistic
Alone we are at our most relaxed, open and therefore vulnerable. Sudden intrusions are bound to impact.

darrellpf, to actuallyautistic
@darrellpf@mas.to avatar

I used to think I didn't really script. Now I realize that's pretty much all I do, every moment. Not just one script but many possibilities.

I think that's why I have such trouble in group conversations. By the time I choose the exact right words the conversation has already moved along. That also means I stay silent in most group conversations because what I want to say lags what I'm hearing.

Same idea with awkward pauses in one on one.

@actuallyautistic

pathfinder,
@pathfinder@beige.party avatar

@darrellpf @actuallyautistic
I think the reason I struggled to recognise that I scripted, beyond the obvious prep for important meetings, was because over the years I'd built up such a flexible pallet of options. They give me a sense of versatility that concealed the fact that they were all created scripts at one point.

pathfinder,
@pathfinder@beige.party avatar

@darrellpf @actuallyautistic
In terms of social interactions very possibly. We tend to have to process quite a bit in terms of working out implied as well as explicit meanings and the potential responses, whether pre-scripted or not, that are required.
In other areas we tend to be bottom up thinkers. Building understanding from the elements, rather than assuming implied understanding from the whole. This means we take longer, but generally also means that we will tend to have a much deeper and complete understanding once we get there.

Susan60, to actuallyautistic
@Susan60@aus.social avatar

Just saw an interesting post by someone missing the simplicity of their childhood. I know that most people wear rose coloured glasses when they’re feeling nostalgic, but I wonder how many autistic people read such posts & think, “No way!”?

I had lots of fun & interesting times during my childhood & adolescence, but there was also so much complexity, confusion & distress. Learning to mask made it easier. I could at least pretend to understand what was going on & therefore attract less negative attention.
@actuallyautistic

pathfinder,
@pathfinder@beige.party avatar

@Susan60 @actuallyautistic
It's on par with "school days are the happiest days of your life." People always kept saying that when I was in school and I never understood it. Why would you want to think that the rest of your life was going to be inevitably less? And why would you want to go back now, to when you were less?

darrellpf, to actuallyautistic
@darrellpf@mas.to avatar

Is there a term in the autistic world for "outing" someone? In the gay world we have often very accurate "gaydar".

I was watching a mom and son on a television show. On one hand I want to talk about them and their interaction, but on the other hand I don't feel right about "diagnosing" them, particularly in a public way.

@actuallyautistic

pathfinder,
@pathfinder@beige.party avatar

@felyashono @darrellpf @actuallyautistic
In terms of fictional characters and tv or film representation, I feel that it is fair. But, for real people, I agree totally. The unfortunate truth is, that it isn't always safe for people to be "outed" as either as gay or neurodivergent. Plus, both require a degree of self-awareness that they may not be ready for.

Aerliss, to random
@Aerliss@mastodon.social avatar

I didn't go to my uni graduation. I didn't see the point. I particularly didn't see the point in spending what amounted to half a day's pay on minimum wage to hire a hat & gown for the day.

Now I'm wondering if part of it was the urge to not be perceived? I dunno. I have no problem being on stage, or public speaking if I have a script. But the whole marching across stage, recieving some paper, shaking hands, being ME, all while being watched and photographed?

Nah. No thanks.

pathfinder,
@pathfinder@beige.party avatar

@Aerliss
I had to be dragged kicking and screaming to mine. I didn't see the point of it either and went mostly to please my parents, who I strongly suspect didn't think I could do it and were therefore as proud as punch.
It may be that this is connected to monotropic thought patterns. To our minds we have finished when we passed, therefore it's time to move on and our brains have already switched away from it.

chevalier26, to actuallyautistic
@chevalier26@mastodon.social avatar

What are your thoughts on self-diagnosis being belittled by many in the autistic community?

For clarity, I’m not asking to start a debate, just a genuine discussion. I currently don’t have the option to get a diagnosis, but feel fairly confident that the research I’ve done over the past year and a half has been legitimate and credible.

I don’t feel comfortable saying that I am definitively autistic, but I am ok with saying I’m “self-suspecting.” @actuallyautistic

pathfinder,
@pathfinder@beige.party avatar

@chevalier26 @darrellpf @janetlogan @actuallyautistic
Sometimes, for those of us with a fairly limited understanding of what autism is to start with anyway, finally beginning to see it takes a somewhat indirect route. It's as often as not seeing it in the edges, before we can see the core.

pathfinder,
@pathfinder@beige.party avatar

@janetlogan @chevalier26 @darrellpf @actuallyautistic
There is a very good reason why I keep my finger nails cut really short. Scabs, itches, are irresistible.

pathfinder,
@pathfinder@beige.party avatar

@chevalier26 @darrellpf @janetlogan @actuallyautistic
My family, who basically blanked my declaration of being autistic, were also the same family who realised very, very early on, that my difference meant that I was never going to marry or have children. I'm not entirely sure what their thinking was to accept one but not the other, but there you go. (Also seeing as they are all dead now, slightly mute.) Families can be strange that way.

pathfinder,
@pathfinder@beige.party avatar

@chevalier26 @darrellpf @janetlogan @actuallyautistic
I'm confident with aromantic, still wondering about asexual.

pathfinder,
@pathfinder@beige.party avatar

@chevalier26 @Tooden @darrellpf @janetlogan @actuallyautistic
Worth an explore.
https://www.bps.org.uk/psychologist/me-and-monotropism-unified-theory-autism

pathfinder,
@pathfinder@beige.party avatar

@chevalier26 @Tooden @darrellpf @janetlogan @actuallyautistic
Also, worth an explore. Although, you have to see past the medicalised language and realise the target audience of this.
https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fnhum.2010.00224/full

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