rebrafsim

@rebrafsim@universeodon.com

“jokes”

header by Dave Cactus

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

rebrafsim, to random

me: when you say I’m a “sore loser,” do you mean that I get sore when I lose, or that I’m sore and also a loser, or that I lost my sore?

my rap battle opponent: that doesn’t even rhyme

rebrafsim, to random

super annoying having to get my dog a present every 1.7 months

rebrafsim,

@raphaelmorgan @rebrafsim 😂

rebrafsim, to random

roman kid: I got a C on my test

roman parent: oh honey I knew you were perfect!

rebrafsim,

@polentabianca @rebrafsim 😂

rebrafsim, to random

me: I think we should work on trust-building

boss: that’s a great idea

me: cool, here’s my trust account deposit instructions

rebrafsim, to random

why are the choices to get busy living or get busy dying when you can NOT get busy and still be doing both, from the comfort of your own bed

The_Whore_of_Blahbylon, to random
@The_Whore_of_Blahbylon@mastodon.social avatar
rebrafsim,

@The_Whore_of_Blahbylon thanks!

rebrafsim,

@LoganFive @The_Whore_of_Blahbylon @rebrafsim woohoo

rebrafsim, to random

cashier: did you find everything you were looking for?

me: gazing melancholically into the middle distance I thought so, once

rebrafsim,

@JoeyBoughtACola @rebrafsim 😂

rebrafsim, to random

judge: how do you find the defendant?

me as the jury foreman: he’s usually here when we get here, your highness sir

rebrafsim,

@amiserabilist @rebrafsim 😂

rebrafsim,

@fonecokid @rebrafsim thanks!

rebrafsim,

@locksmithprime @rebrafsim thanks!

rebrafsim,

@hosford42 @amiserabilist @rebrafsim 😂

rebrafsim, to random

first person to throw a baby out with bath water: oh wow I should not do this

rebrafsim,

@weilawei @rebrafsim 😭😂

rebrafsim,

@Ralph @rebrafsim 😂

rebrafsim,

@todwest @rebrafsim 😂

rebrafsim,

@locksmithprime @rebrafsim 😂 thanks!

rebrafsim,

@Just_Tired @rebrafsim 😂

rebrafsim, to random

doctor: on a scale of one to ten, ten being the worst pain you can imagine, how much does it hurt?

me: three?

doctor: you have a shrimp fork in your eye

me: and a VERY vivid imagination

rebrafsim,

@nivrig 😂😭

rebrafsim, to random

genie: mystified and you’re sure you want your final wish to be a third good night of sleep?

rebrafsim,

@PeteZ 😂

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