thefartographer

@thefartographer@lemm.ee

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thefartographer, (edited )

Consider that the energy output of a 12-gauge shotgun is approximately 4500 Newton-meters and, from personal experience, can rotate a first-gen iPad at an extrapolated 240 rpm (extrapolated as this proved difficult to sustain). That gives us an equivalent of 113 kW! A modern ipad would only need about 13 kW to charge in one second.

So, one shotgun shell could easily charge yours and 7 of your friends ipads instantaneously, although the results are difficult to appreciate.

thefartographer,

I was there and got some of the wind on me. Most of it is in my butt crack. Chop chop, get scrubbing.

thefartographer,

You know what they say: first is the worst, but second is the best. Your turn! applies minty lip balm

thefartographer,

Eh, he’s earned the 3 Werther’s Originals I carry in my pocket

thefartographer,

When my dad died suddenly in 2015 and I cleared out his office at his job, I spun down his Win95 machine that he’d been using for essential coding and testing. My father was that programmer—the one who directly spoke to a limited number of clients and stakeholders because he had a tendency to ask people if they were stupid.

thefartographer,

What fucking two-bit news outlet wrote this story, all talking about pineapples. WE MEASURE IN BANANAS, N00BS

thefartographer,

No, that’s capitalism and the good ol’ US of A, we believe in “fuck off and die, poors”

thefartographer,

I’m not accepting anything less than a full billion, after taxes. But maybe I’m just a better person than @henfredemars

Anything less and you’ll just have to convince me to take your filthy millions.

thefartographer,

Wow, I was looking for nonviolent felons, but this is an incredible option. Put them both in the running and we’d probably have the largest voter turnout ever. With people actually choosing a preferred candidate, not the less shitty one

thefartographer,

I agree wholeheartedly. Let’s start with Danielle Metz

thefartographer,

Something something motherfucking plane

FTFY

thefartographer,

Wow! How the hell do you make a snare drum at home???

thefartographer,

No wonder broadcast media is dying. They really jumped the shark when they hired that squid

thefartographer,

As a born and raised Texan, I find zero flaws in your logic. Then again, if all of you non-Texan foreigners would just obey our laws and ideals, about 60% of Texas would return to the ocean. Glub glub y’all

thefartographer,

I was thinking about exactly this earlier today: progressives are progressive because they take their direction from studies, experts, and observations. Conservatives are regressive because they invent studies, buy experts, and only observe anything that serves their confirmation bias.

iheart.com/…/part-one-how-conservatism-won-164063…

thefartographer,

You sound like a terrible pen pal. Wanna be mine?

thefartographer,

According to this shit I just made up, 95% of all quotes come from Benjamin Franklin. Using equally loose definitions, my lies are AI.

See also: Alternative Facts

thefartographer,

I don’t know if it’s the wording or what, but this sounds like some sort of riddle where the answer is that you’re your own sister.

thefartographer,

Thank God it’s not just me! My wife eats just about a box of these per week. I tried it and thought that a bottle of acid diarrheaed in my mouth

thefartographer, (edited )

John Jesus Jingleheimer Schmidt

thefartographer,

Come live in the genocided estates of Fangorn Forest!

thefartographer,

Little shit-dick boys won’t quit being crybabies sticking their dicks in shit?

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