I’ve experienced burnout throughout work and education since I was sixteen. Usually around once every 12-18 months. I’ve accrued a lot of associated trauma....
I feel driven to respond after reading your response to BugleFingers (whose response I agree with). It really sucks you are feeling shame about your difficulties with working. I believe a lot (not all) of the difficulties that neurodivergent people have with work isn't anything to do with them, but about the pressures of living under the tyranny of late-stage capitalism.
I don't think you not being able to work without burning out is evidence there's something wrong with you, I think it shows that most people don't get any kind of support in finding sustainable work. I hope you can find a way to forgive yourself for whatever you feel are your failings around employment because you've done nothing wrong.
Apart from what BugleFingers wrote (especially doing work you are interested in), I found self-employment/freelance work to be life changing. I like being my own boss because I can choose when I work and when I don't (with restrictions, obviously) and have found a way to make it work for me and my family.
It feels important to say it took me time to get to a point where this was financially practical, though. I went through a lot of jobs where I went through a cycle very similar to yours (don't listen to the person trying to diagnose you with more disorders; you getting depressed from work doesn't equal another diagnosis). I found my profession by doing jobs that seemed interesting and honing down what I actually liked. I think it's about balancing out what is important to you (e.g., making money, having nice things, having free time, ext.) with what is necessary (e.g., housing, food, bills, etc.).
I hope you can find a job that works for you, OP. Good luck.
I came across everyday topic on Techlore Discussions about free and open source keyboards for Android and discovered this little gem. It is FlorisBoard, a virtual keyboard for Android which respects privacy of the user. I can sigh with relief and finish my search for that singular keyboard for typing stuff on the go....
Using a social perspective to autism, I would appreciate if there were a way to classify someone as autistic without calling it a disorder. Yes, we have difficulties, but from a social perspective, a lot of them come from society being structured to meet the needs of allistics. They get guidance, acceptance, and ultimately...
Words matter, otherwise verbal assault wouldn't constitute a hate crime (at least in the UK). You used an ableist word and that matters. The word has an interesting history, in case anyone is interested (see below) and using it is ableist given it used to be a psychiatric classification. I am assuming you wouldn't use the 'F' word to describe gay people or the 'N' word to describe black people. Those are just words, too, what makes them different?
Also, taking the "science doesn't care about your feelings" line of thinking is really lazy. We don't have to keep the status quo. In fact, it's generally good if we don't. I can see from your responses that you aren't interested in discussion, so I'm leaving it here. It's OK to be wrong about things sometimes. Maybe you are wrong about this. Maybe not, but maybe you are.
Did you complete any forms before the assessment? I had to complete a few forms before assessment which asked me questions based on the diagnostic criteria which then went towards the psychiatrist's final evaluation. Assessment styles seem to vary wildly between services and counties, though.
To answer your question more directly, though, yes, I thought of loads of things I forgot to mention in assessment afterwards. But then I was given my diagnosis at the end of the assessment so it sounds like your psychiatrist deals with things differently, at least in that example.
If I can give you some advice, I'd suggest you put it out of your mind for now until you get the result and if you do not agree with the result, appeal with the extra information (if you can). It would be a good idea to start a log of supporting information when you remember it, as well. Keep it somewhere handy, like a small notebook you keep on your pocket or a notes app on your phone. I think that's good advice for everyone going into an assessment.
This relates to the BBC article [www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-66596790] which states “the UK should pay $24tn (£18.8tn) for its slavery involvement in 14 countries”....
I'm not sure if you are an ignorant apologist or outright racist but it feels important to comment on this given the number of uovotes this post is receiving. From an article from Slate I will link below:
"But, as historian Marcus Rediker writes, the “ancient and widely accepted institution” of enslavement in Africa was exacerbated by the European presence. Yes, European slave traders entered “preexisting circuits of exchange” when they arrived in the 16th century. But European demand changed the shape of this market, strengthening enslavers and ensuring that more and more people would be carried away. “[European] slave-ship captains wanted to deal with ruling groups and strong leaders, people who could command labor resources and deliver the ‘goods,’ ” Rediker writes, and European money and technology further empowered those who were already dominant, encouraging them to enslave greater numbers. Both the social structures and infrastructure that enabled African systems of enslavement were strengthened by the transatlantic slave trade.
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Bottom line: Why should this matter? This is a classic “two wrongs make a right” ethical proposition. Even if Africans (or Arabs, or Jews) colluded in the slave trade, should white Americans be entitled to do whatever they pleased with the people who were unlucky enough to fall victim?"
This has been going on for years, including inside the EU, for those wondering. You can test to see if it happens for you by going to a flight website, getting a price for a flight, then go back a few times to search for the same flight.
The question of what you do to fight it is by clearing the cookie for the website, using a different browser and/or changing your location/block tracking (use a VPN or tor). Usually clearing the cookie is enough.
Shrinking might be a good positive depiction of positive masculinity (I don't think it is, he's a toxic asshole who puts his stuff on everyone else) but I couldn't get over the fact that he's supposed to be a therapist. I'm a psychotherapist and Segal's wildly unethical behaviour, never mind the unethical behaviour of his workmates (who should have reported him) made me really dislike this show. I loved Ted Lasso and Shrinking is not on the same level.
Citations Needed podcast had an episode about the link between the colonial settler myth and eating meat (episode 139) which was really good. (Summarising very badly) Eating meat became proof of the settler dominion over the land, animals and peoples (Native Americans) of the West and was pushed to maintain the narrative.
Edit: I also recommend a recent episode of Maintenance Phase where they debunk the paleo diet and have past episodes on Peterson.
My guess is that you are not part of an oppressed group? It is very easy for those used to privilege to criticise those from less privileged groups for wanting their own spaces because they have not experienced what it is like to be othered.
The point is to be free from the oppression that they experience often on a daily basis, not to keep their ideas unchallenged.
The idea that underprivileged groups create echo chambers is laughable when you think of the number of explicity conservative social media platforms.
As I said to someone below, my guess is that you are not part of an oppressed group? It is very easy for those used to privilege to criticise those from less privileged groups for wanting their own spaces because they have not experienced what it is like to be othered.
The point is to be free from the oppression that they experience often on a daily basis, not to keep their ideas unchallenged.
A fern is a plant. A plant is supposed to get pollinated by bees and whatnot. Yet ferns have sperm swimming around and fertilizing the lady-bits of other fern....
Only flowering plants are pollinated by bees and even then not all of them. Ferns evolved before flowers existed so of course they need a different way to breed.
The Spider-Man: No Way Home - The Art of the Movie book just landed on shelves worldwide, and in it, the film’s director, Jon Watts, confirmed what audiences always suspected about the ending of the movie: it ends at the beginning.
One thing I really liked reddit for was reading news and talking about it. I have stopped posting or commenting there now and am in the process of slowly wiping my posting history... but I still browse it for current events a decent bit as it's just a lot more active than over here....
There has been a few posts about this person, I blocked them and their magazine so I remember, and there was no consensus on those posts. It's a question for @ernest as he runs the show.
Hello from kbin, I was having this discussion with someone on another post about users views of the Reddit alternatives. I made a comment that I slightly prefer Raddle to the rest of the Fediverse because it is a closed community, largely for anarchists and queer folks. I've definitely noticed a creeping toxicity since I opened my account with kbin after moving from Reddit when everyone else did and, to prove my point, was reduced (down voted) by a conservative reactionary, judging by their posts.
Federation is a interesting and I wonder how things would be here if politics was less reactionary and more about discussion and consensus. Any instance benefits from federation through an increased user base but that necessarily comes with the impact of not being able to manage who is in that user base.
Hey, this may be completely unrelated but I have no one else in my life I can ask who would understand. Whenever I’m overstimulated or on the way towards a big meltdown my long term injuries seem to bother me more. Why is the only time my injuries really bother me is when I’m struggling? When I’m busy masking my pain...
This is the answer. I started writing something then realised I'd just rewritten what you had written in different words. Autistic people tend to be less able to recognise what their body is telling them. I recently said to my partner that I have been exhausted and really tired and she responded that I'd had a busy week, done 9 hours of driving in heavy traffic and terrible weather and had poor sleep. I thought there was something really wrong with me, she pointed out perfectly valid reasons for me feeling the way I was.
This is a valid point but Amazon also sells a lot of books based on pseudo-science and debunked claims. It's pretty clear they are not an ethical company so they absolutely will do nothing to stop AI generated books.
Our stories sound similar. Calm, relatively stable upbringing and then mostly self isolation leads to symptoms being unrecognised until children and other stresses build up and the symptoms are no longer under control.
The best suggestion I can give you is learn to accept your limitations (I'd say that to anyone, really). Managing two children is stressful for most people, for you even more so. That's a fact and it's OK. You get overwhelmed when there's too much going on. That's a fact and it's OK. Sometimes we aren't going to be able to cope in life. That's a fact and it's OK. So in this situation, you now know that you will find it too difficult to manage your kids where you are without support from your wife. That's a fact and it's OK.
Maybe you could arrange to take them somewhere else that has less sensory stimulation next time, or you agree with your wife that she has time to do things like shopping when you are at home with the kids. It's difficult to give suggestions without knowing where you were, but hopefully you get the idea.
Depending on how old your children are, speaking to them to ensure they know not to run away without you (and reinforcing the boundary when they do run away from you) can also help. (Most) Children like having responsibilities.
Mostly forgive yourself for not being able to cope in that situation. Modern life doesn't allow any parent to be perfect, but we can aim to be good enough and that's even more the case for neurodivergent parents. Give your kids a hug and tell them you love them then accept their love when they give it back. I definitely struggle with that but recognise how important it is.
I’m doing some research for a post I’d like to make in this community about the crisis of masculinity and I had a question pop into my brain: Why don’t manly men explain the reason for being a man?...
They identify as a man because gender is defined externally to the individual. They were born, the doctor saw a penis, said, "it's a boy" and those around them reinforced male norms onto them: parents tend to cuddle boys less than girls; enforce stoic principles (men don't cry); encourage rougher, more violent play; and encourage more independence. There's plenty of references for these points so I didn't feel the need to provide any.
Most people don't challenge their identity if they don't need to and changing parts of your identity can be traumatic (ask queer person what coming out was like for them). The crisis of masculinity, as with any cultural crisis, is just a conservative, reaction to something that challenges them.
Gender is cultural and temporal so changes all the time; high heeled shoes used to be worn by rich Persian men, pink was the color that boys wore because pink was thought to be a watered down red, the color of the British army that they would, of course, eventually join. The Male Breadwinner model is an interesting way to frame the idea that the man is provider for the family. Prior to the Industrial Revolution the whole family provided.
One of my most active subs on Reddit was /r/MensLib, an open, pro-feminist, trans-inclusive space for people to discuss men’s issues without toxicity and without anger or violence directed at women or men. It was a (mostly) wonderful community that fostered lots of genuine, heartfelt discussion, and it would seem to me that...
I really liked r/menslib, it has a good balance and the toxicity was dealt with very well. This is what a new community would need. As someone else brought up, this was discussed this week, I actually thought you were the same person.
Mastodon, an alternative social network to Twitter, has a serious problem with child sexual abuse material according to researchers from Stanford University. In just two days, researchers found over 100 instances of known CSAM across over 325,000 posts on Mastodon. The researchers found hundreds of posts containing CSAM related...
I recently got into RSS and I’m trying to discover some feeds. What I honestly don’t like is that some websites that use RSS and post a new article every couple hours. I’m looking for more personal blog type feeds. Personal projects. Posts that have a “soul” in them, if you will. If you have some that you love, share...
Yesterday I went shopping in a very crowded supermarket. It was exhausting. I almost had a meltdown in public. do you have any advice on how to calm down / avoid overstimulation during such situations?
I only go to places that are usually busy at quiet times, though I know for some people that's not possible. Otherwise I plan out a route to get through the store as quickly as possible (having something to focus on helps me) and wear noise cancelling headphones and listen to something I like, usually a podcast. If it is very busy and I can't take it anymore I go to the quietest part of the store for a minute.
How does one find a career that won't cause them burnout?
I’ve experienced burnout throughout work and education since I was sixteen. Usually around once every 12-18 months. I’ve accrued a lot of associated trauma....
Are there any notable content creators that focus on content other than niche tech and US political on Mastodon?
I’m hoping to find more general, less nerdy content or infuriating American news. 99% of what I see and is recommended to me is just that....
FlorisBoard | FOSS keyboard that respects your privacy (florisboard.org)
I came across everyday topic on Techlore Discussions about free and open source keyboards for Android and discovered this little gem. It is FlorisBoard, a virtual keyboard for Android which respects privacy of the user. I can sigh with relief and finish my search for that singular keyboard for typing stuff on the go....
I would appreciate a diagnosis or classification of autism that isn't described as a disorder
Using a social perspective to autism, I would appreciate if there were a way to classify someone as autistic without calling it a disorder. Yes, we have difficulties, but from a social perspective, a lot of them come from society being structured to meet the needs of allistics. They get guidance, acceptance, and ultimately...
deleted_by_author
How are slavery reparations fair?
This relates to the BBC article [www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-66596790] which states “the UK should pay $24tn (£18.8tn) for its slavery involvement in 14 countries”....
Browser Fingerprints Lead to Price Discrimination (monero.town)
Not only is it legal, it’s much more common than you’d think. Companies charge different prices based on your browser fingerprint....
If You Love Ted Lasso ... Don't Miss These Other Great Depictions of Positive Masculinity - The Peabody Awards (peabodyawards.com)
Meat and masculinity have been bound together for centuries – and that’s no accident (www.theguardian.com)
Safe spaces are important
cross-posted from: lemmy.dbzer0.com/post/2421185...
TIL: ferns have sperm that swims (www.thoughtco.com)
A fern is a plant. A plant is supposed to get pollinated by bees and whatnot. Yet ferns have sperm swimming around and fertilizing the lady-bits of other fern....
Let me tell you about the last time we did the oil change. (files.catbox.moe)
So I usually do oil changes on multiple cars for friends etc, it’s quicker to bang them out all at once....
Spider-Man: No Way Home Director Confirms What We All Suspected About the Ending (thedirect.com)
The Spider-Man: No Way Home - The Art of the Movie book just landed on shelves worldwide, and in it, the film’s director, Jon Watts, confirmed what audiences always suspected about the ending of the movie: it ends at the beginning.
New idea I'm gonna try out
One thing I really liked reddit for was reading news and talking about it. I have stopped posting or commenting there now and am in the process of slowly wiping my posting history... but I still browse it for current events a decent bit as it's just a lot more active than over here....
How does kbin deal with bigots?
This user runs this magazine which is entirely dedicated to transphobia under the guise of anti-misogyny (usual TERF bullshit)....
Does Beehaw benefit from federation?
I saw this discussion brought up on a different thread and I though I’d get some more opinions on the matter....
Heightened pain when struggling emotionally?
Hey, this may be completely unrelated but I have no one else in my life I can ask who would understand. Whenever I’m overstimulated or on the way towards a big meltdown my long term injuries seem to bother me more. Why is the only time my injuries really bother me is when I’m struggling? When I’m busy masking my pain...
I Would Rather See My Books Get Pirated Than This (Or: Why Goodreads and Amazon Are Becoming Dumpster Fires) | Jane Friedman (janefriedman.com)
Amazon and Goodreads must take steps to combat the flood of AI-generated content that will mislead readers and damage author reputations.
How to avoid/handle meltdowns in public
I am married and have a couple young kids. Recently late diagnosed at 31 years....
Why Aspire To The Ideal Man?
I’m doing some research for a post I’d like to make in this community about the crisis of masculinity and I had a question pop into my brain: Why don’t manly men explain the reason for being a man?...
Would anyone else be interested in a Beehaw-specific menslib community or similar space?
One of my most active subs on Reddit was /r/MensLib, an open, pro-feminist, trans-inclusive space for people to discuss men’s issues without toxicity and without anger or violence directed at women or men. It was a (mostly) wonderful community that fostered lots of genuine, heartfelt discussion, and it would seem to me that...
Stanford researchers find Mastodon has a massive child abuse material problem (www.theverge.com)
Mastodon, an alternative social network to Twitter, has a serious problem with child sexual abuse material according to researchers from Stanford University. In just two days, researchers found over 100 instances of known CSAM across over 325,000 posts on Mastodon. The researchers found hundreds of posts containing CSAM related...
I'm sick of social media. What are some good RSS feeds that you would recommend? (Yours count too!)
I recently got into RSS and I’m trying to discover some feeds. What I honestly don’t like is that some websites that use RSS and post a new article every couple hours. I’m looking for more personal blog type feeds. Personal projects. Posts that have a “soul” in them, if you will. If you have some that you love, share...
How to deal with overstimulation in a crowded space?
Yesterday I went shopping in a very crowded supermarket. It was exhausting. I almost had a meltdown in public. do you have any advice on how to calm down / avoid overstimulation during such situations?