@Colin@fluffy.family
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

Colin

@Colin@fluffy.family

I am an anxious, ginger, domestic short-haired cat in the UK.
I am a paramedicat.

Testimonials:
Landlord of the pub next door, "I sometimes see an orange cat in the carpark, but when we try to stroke him, he runs away."
Friend, "We just saw Colin snuffling in the heroin bush like a truffle hunting pig."
Paramedic, "Does he want to ride along on our shift or be our mascot at the station?"

Header: Colin is standing on a pavement
Avatar: Colin shouting.

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Colin, to animals
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

This is just bullying. How is a cat supposed to enjoy his new box with all this going on?

A slightly different angle of Colin and Eric. Colin is still sitting upright in the cardboard box, staring directly into the camera, but Eric has moved out of the radiator bed and is sitting on the radiator top and having a wash.

Colin, to animals
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I have a replacement box! :blobcatbox: :blobcatcheer: I am so happy, but I'm having a good wash in it to make sure it is as good as the stolen one.

Colin, to animals
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

. 10 years ago, when I was a kitten and had not lived here long, we had a flood from a storm. Here's me inspecting the new kitchen floor. I have always enjoyed a good inspection.

Colin, to animals
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Freedom! I took advantage of the preferred human and box-stealing man going to a human catnip place to escape! I was in too much pain to shout at them on their return. My leg really hurts :ablobcatcry:

Colin, to animals
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

I have been imprisoned again. After screaming at 5am, a human came downstairs but refused to let me out. This happened again at 7 am and 11am. It's now 2 pm, yet I'm still incarcerated. They's let Eric out, so this is specific cruelty towards me.

They were funny about outside yesterday, but I escaped through a window, which made my bad leg hurt more. Today, this portal to outside has been closed.

Please write to your local politicians.

Colin, to animals
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

Call the RSPCA! I fell off the fence earlier and am barely able to walk, so I dragged myself to my box to lick my wounds, but it's gone! No authorisation was given for its removal.

What am I supposed to do now? Where do I go? What do I do? :ablobcatcry: I shall complain to the management.

Colin, an orange cat, peering over the side of a bed. His eyes are wide, whiskers wide and ears forward. Behind him, the fluffy, brown cat bed and toy bee are visible.

Colin, to animals
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

I am putting in my requisition form for a new box. I am putting this here so that you can see how a professional does it.

Colin, to animals
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

Someone has broken my box, so it is not as comfy as it was. I present the evidence for public judgement. Impact assessment: there is nowhere for me to sleep and I am upset.

I have already complained to the management.

Eric, a fluffy black and white cat, sitting in the flattened cardboard box.

Colin, to animals
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

Eric tried to steal my box. Plus, my box has been moved again. I spent a considerable amount of time shouting in outrage and being bothered.

Colin, an orange cat, sitting in a slightly mashed cardboard box next to a laundry basket and shouting.

Colin, to animals
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

It's time for my Pointless hug.

Back in the day: every evening, the man used to come home from work and sit in my spot on the bed to watch a TV programme called Pointless. As he was in the way, I sat on him.

Now he doesn't watch Pointless, but I sit on him every day when he attempts to invade my spot on the bed. This is known as the Pointless hug. If he does not appear to provide hugs in the late afternoon/early evening, I get very annoyed.

Colin, to animals
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

I was really busy doing my morning, full-house inspection, but this imprudent and impertinent beast waited to jump on me as I walked around the bed.

It really is unacceptable behaviour.

Colin, to animals
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

The preferred human is attempting to change her wardrobe to her winter fur. Naturally, I am being really helpful.

Colin, to animals
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

It must be Autumn because I've decided it's time to start using my radiator bed again. I haven't been up here for so long, I've forgotten what to do.

Colin, to animals
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

The preferred human and I decided the household needs clearer directions when it comes to household chores (so I am not neglected), so she downloaded an app.

I (obviously) do not need to do chores as it's my house. I do all the supervising, which is extremely difficult considering what I have to work with. :ablobcatcoffee:

This was Eric's interpretation of doing the laundry. Do we award him any points for this?

Eric, a black and white cat, playing in a purple laundry basket. There is a piece of paper on the floor, which he is trying to attack through the holes. He jumps out of the basket to get the paper, but then jumps back in to retry the paw through hole method. He then bites the side of the basket and looks confused.

Colin, to animals
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

Last night was upsetting & I'm only able to speak of it now without a panic attack. The humans went out to the human catnip place. I was ready in the ginnel to shout at them as usual, when Eileen (who we have learned is called cupcake and lives at # 10), ran into my house & ate all my food. Eric just watched her! I was growled at, hissed at & she sniffed my favourite box. :ablobcatcry: I was so upset, but the tall one laughed at me for running away. It's an outrage.

Eric, a fluffy black and white cat, is sitting under a white perch stool in a kitchen. He looks relaxed and is looking intently to the right.
Cupcake, a torbie cat is standing in a doorway looking back towards the camera. She is near a pile of books and a khaki military style bag.

Colin, to animals
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

Eric has no idea what to do with books. He has expressed no interest in the history of Pacific island fishing permits, tuna canning, feral cats eating rare seagulls, nuclear testing nor trade union activity. He's not even aware the book is there. :blobcatbook:

Colin, to animals
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

I was doing so well with the fishing chapters, but now I'm on human economics, I appear to have gone a bit sleepy. :blobcatbook:

Colin, an orange cat, asleep on a bed with his head resting on a black library book entitled 'Atoll Politics'.

Colin, to Cat
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

Today, we are having a quiet day. I'm helping the preferred human read about fishing quotas in Kiribati.

Colin, to animals
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

I'm conflicted. I am the greatest paramedicat, but usually only to the preferred human and occasionally to the man. However, the tall one has caught Covid from university and is coughing a lot.

I hate going in her messy room. I get nervous when she is walking about because she's so big and uncoordinated. She's not very ill and the coughing is deeply annoying. Should I stay in my box or help her?

Colin, to animals
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

I do apologise for the unseemly violence, but I had to defend what's mine. While this 1:30 am battle lasted for over an hour, I was ultimately victorious. However, on inspection, my box has been slightly damaged. :blobcatbox:

Colin, an orange cat, punching Eric, a black and white cat, because Eric is sitting in Colin's cardboard box.

Colin, to Cat
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

The people have recovered, so I am back to shouting at them in the street for abandoning me.

Colin, an orange cat, runs athletically round a corner, stops by a wall and shouts.

Colin, to animals
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

It's , but I have spent most of the day waiting for the humans to come home from wherever they had gone. I was alone :ablobcatcry:

Colin, to animals
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

The preferred human is still unwell. As a reward for my paramedicatting, they got me this high quality box to sit in. Eric is jealous.

Colin, to animals
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

The people 'think' it's my gotcha day. I think it was yesterday and they forgot. Oh well. Anyway, here are some cute photos of me as a kitten for everyone to go silly over.

Colin, an orange kitten, squeezed behind some books on a bookshelf.
Colin, an orange kitten, squeezed on top of some comic books on a bookshelf.
Colin, an orange kitten, sleeping on his back on a bed with his fat stomach exposed.

Colin, to animals
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

Also, while I have been busy, we have had great excitement with my new friend, who the humans have named Eileen. It appears she is homeless. The humans put on a paper collar last week and are going to take her to James the nice vet as she is very scabby. If her home is not found, she's going to live with Vesta.

Colin, an orange cat, standing on a pavement at night. He has stopped and is staring with reflective eyes at Eileen, a torbie cat, who is standing on a wall.

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