GoldenRetrieverGF

@GoldenRetrieverGF@blahaj.zone

She/Her--Pro #Cook, and #trans #leftist #bisexual extraordinaire. American #immigrant to Germany.​:bi_flag:​​:butterfly_trans:​

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GoldenRetrieverGF, to TransJoy

My girlishfriend has EKG hickies O.o.

GoldenRetrieverGF, to LGBT

Preach it Skeletor

18+ GoldenRetrieverGF, to StarTrek

So I want to say that the Borg are the perfect enemy for Starfleet because of how similar they are. The Borg have the goal of "We will add your biological and technological distinctiveness to our own. Your culture will adapt to service us."

Does Data want to be Data or does he endeavor to become human because humans are the best? Who told him that? Picard? Kirk literally said in his Eulogy of Spock in Wrath of Kahn "Of my friend, I can only say this: of all the souls I have encountered in my travels, his was the most... human. ". A race he consistently tried to seperate himself from from both the Vulcan's and the Humans.

I personally see in the federation a neoliberal utopia that doesn't seek to respect cultural differences but rather to eradicate them and supplant them with "humanity". Like they heckle, harrass and discriminate against Vulcans and Klingons throughout every series. It's like the whole background of B'elenna in Voyager. Even Quark and Garak have a conversation in DS9.

Quark: It's [Root Beer ] so bubbly, cloying...and happy.
Garak: Just like the Federation.
Quark: And you know what's really frightening? If you drink enough of it, you begin to like it.
Garak: It's insidious.
Quark: Just like the Federation.

When they talk about the Federation, Earth is always what they are talking about. The founding members were Humans, Andorians and Vulcans. I really feel there are benefits to the federation. Erasing Economy, Defense, Curing disease etc etc all at the complete erasure of your country, culture and past to be supplanted with the glorious history of earth.

I get there are differences but the end goal of the Borg and the Federation are practically identical and they will use force if you resist. Maybe I sound like a Romulan or Cardassian propaganda artist but like ffs fam, this never read as a communist utopia to me but rather a white-washed neo-liberal one.

I think I think too much but the Borg are the perfect Foil for the Federation.

GoldenRetrieverGF,

@ainmosni It's been so long since I have seen Star Trek VI that I had forgotten that line... and also the plot.

GoldenRetrieverGF, to Germany

So @thatfrisiangirlish and I just went on vacation. I noticed a few things.

  1. People thought I was just a German more than once because of my fluency.

  2. I was flustered when someone was pointing out who could speak what languages and our very gracious host, @ics said "Sie ist Taylor, sie spricht beides" (She's Taylor, she speaks both--as in both English and German ), I was really quite flustered.

  3. I moved here with two suitcases and less than an A1 in German but a decent groundwork. Now just three years later and I am somewhere between a B2 and C1?!

  4. I just picked up a German Translation of Dune. I struggle with it but I can read it, understand it and suck up vocabulary from it like a sponge.

At this point I've run out of reasons to explain . All my friends are German, my Girlishfriend is German, my boss speaks no English, I'm highly intelligent and highly educated. I'm stuck in a position of speak German or don't speak at all even if I speak mostly Denglisch at home. But even still these reasons fall short of my progress. I worked and I worked and I worked and for the first time the vast majority of my vacation I spoke German. I was understood in at least 4 states in several different dialects.

Now finally is my integration and humor and German catching up in ways that are conversational and mostly not too difficult. It's a huge relief. I've got a long way to go but so much behind me that I feel an extreme sense of relief and that fluency and full integration are a possibility for me. phew

GoldenRetrieverGF, to random

One of the fun things about German is how confusing it is. To make a word plural, you add -n/-en, umlaut + -er, umlaut or do nothing. So a lot of beginners will take der Vogel ( a bird ) and add an n but also an umlaut. Vögeln. This is however incorrect. It has the same meaning as ficken or bumsen. It means to fuck.

The true plural is die Vögel. Birds and the bees I guess.

GoldenRetrieverGF, to random

Moin! Today we make the long trek to Munich but I'll leave you with this gem to enjoy.

GoldenRetrieverGF, to random

I think I am a great arguementalist and sub apologist but @thatfrisiangirlish doesn't seem to agree. My primary arguments against my subbiness are as follows

  1. Stick my tongue out and blow a raspberry.
  2. Sing "nOOOoooOOooo".
  3. Pout.
  4. Make an argument that maybe I am actually the domme and playing the long game so she becomes complacent.
  5. Just stick my tongue out.

I think these are great arguments but then ae just rolls me on my back or puts her hand around my neck and it's over. I'm a great arguer. I promise!

GoldenRetrieverGF, to random

I'm very much of the opinion that eepy girls should not be forced to take part in capitalism but instead should receive cuddles, headpats, a blankie and extra coffee.

Viva la Revolucion ✊

GoldenRetrieverGF, to random

As an exile acedemia, yeah, yeah it's like that.

GoldenRetrieverGF, to Korean

So this is partially at people that think language doesn't change but also just really cool. I learned recently that R's in english are slowly disappearing. It's especially prominant in American English. R's are increasingly unpronounced.

It makes pronouncing German for English speakers very difficult. So I have been partially rolling my 'r's like a spanish rr as a crutch as I relearn to pronounce r's.

You know what's also really cool? the i in the personal pronoun "ich" in German is empty. You are not pronoucning the i you are pronouncing an empty vowel. It's also what makes German sound so choppy compared to Dutch. Every single space in German is this unpronounced vowel.

Isn't that cool? And proof that language changes constantly even if purists like to pretend it doesn't? It's one of the defining factors that differentiates British English and American English speakers. Weak rs!

#language #learning #german #english

GoldenRetrieverGF,

@jo for whatever reason I met a lot of Australians in the US and it's also strangely my most heard native English accent I have heard in Germany. Maybe it's because I run for the hills when I hear American English and the brits are best left avoided + brexit means not so many in the EU. Still Australian English is weird. Still I know this weirdness but never really knew why exactly until I saw this video.

English in general is weird. I visited the UK in 2015 and I gotta say. Scotch, Australian, British, and American English are all really quite strange.

GoldenRetrieverGF, to random

I was asking my girlfriend why are people always saying hi to me. And she answered "Probably because you look like you are from this area and they think they might know you". So I looked up all my last names (3 because my mom is adopted but I included her name because it gives an idea that that area of California is very Dutch ).

In the first picture we have where I live. If you are unaware west of us by a few KM is the Netherlands a little south is Belgium and then that's luxemburg just chilling a little south of that. I was like "Oh". Like we found a graveyard with a bunch of Wever's in Germany when my dad was deployed and we were a little spooked. It's generally spelled Weaver in England and the US so it was weird to find us represented in Germany.

GoldenRetrieverGF, to languagelearning

I wanna talk about language and the importance of it. I was watching a video of a USian talk about looking back at the US after 5 years in Europe. And she mentioned in the US it's a cool party trick.

For me it was a little more than that. I'm a cook and that means I interacted with a great deal of spanish speakers. Speaking spanish got me more hours but ultimately the ability to speak multiple languages is one of the most powerful strengths that you can have. Ever.

I barely use calculus. I barely use Matrices or my advanced History or Science knowledge except for party tricks. Metric makes quick modular arithmetic unnecessary. You know what's actually one of my most important genius traits that I did not know until moving to Europe? Picking up on syntax and vocabulary very very quickly.

Turns out my code breaking skills would become essential in my future. My ability to do calculus was used to put some sexist guy in his place once in Germany. My ability to learn German, Spanish and now Croatian is infinitely more useful. My ability to say "Klein Reis Bitte" to receive blank stares and then say "Malo Reisa Molin" and get an immediate response is actually infintely more useful.

Even in the US my ability to speak Spanish helped keep me off the streets. I got more hours and more trainees even with my very limited spanish. The idea that you only need to speak English is a US fantasy for overprivileged, generally ham-colored Americans. In a great deal of industries, especially higher up in industry when you need to speak to other colleagues in other countries or in working class where you speak to immigrants is infintely useful.

If you want to learn a language in your free time. Do it. Just do it. It's not embarrassing or geeky. I would argue it's actually essential. You don't know where you go or where you'll be in 5 years. Before I came out I never thought I would ever move to Europe or have the confidence and outgoing nature to move continents and primary languages. I also didn't start working in kitchens until I was almost 30. You literally never know.

Do the thing. Learn another language.

#language #immigrantlife #spanish #german #croatian

GoldenRetrieverGF, to LGBT

My girlishfriend and I were cuddling but I needed more cuddles so she turns to me and says. "If you died you would ressurect yourself in under five minutes saying 'Tally, cuddle me. I'm cold' "

Like Cremation of Sam Mcgee but make it Gay.

GoldenRetrieverGF, to trans

So transness exists in many animals and not just humans. It's been observed but I'm going to give you a personal story from my personal life. My exwife was a wildlife rehabilitator. She went to school for it with a specialization in Raptors. That's birds of prey. Not Jurrassic Park.

They rehabilitate most birds but some just can't be released. If they can get along with people they become educational ambassadors. IE birds they take out to the public to educate on wildlife conservation and eliminate misconceptions etc etc.

Well they have a mated for life Golden Eagle duo. The boy is a little big but not so large that he's in lady eagle territory. In Raptors sexual dimorphism is reversed. It's important for later.

He has a wife. Golden Eagles mate for life. They do all the parnter things. Guard eggs. Have s3x. Normal stuff. but zero viable young. No young at all. They think maybe it's just a biproduct of the lady having West Nile virus. Organs move around and change in birds with west nile. It wouldn't be strange if she were infertile.

Because these birds are generally traumatized, and sexing of birds is prone to error they just don't do it. He acts like a guy. He is a guy. His lady love loves him very much. Well he dies of old age. It happens. It's sad.

So they do an autopsy. Also routine. Also for science. What is it they find in autopsy? Ovaries. No testes. No intersex condition. This eagle is a big masculine boy with ovaries. They had a married heterosexual couple with a trans guy and a cis gal ... if birds could be referred to by such terms.

Being trans isn't new. It's not a fad or a woke mind virus. It's not the Democrats or the Greens or the Hippies. It is observed in most animals capable of actually making advanced neural pathways. Some of the smartest creatures on earth are actually birds of prey. So guess where much transness is found? That's right Eagles, Hawks and owls. It's not weird. It's not unnatural. It's part of the normal distribution of thinking species. #Trans #lgbt #raptors #science #wildlife

GoldenRetrieverGF,

@thepoliticalcat I can't really get my brain to read anymore but the animal kingdom is fascinating. You have lesbian albatrosses that are together for longer than human lifespans. Ostriches are apparently so gay that male farmers can't be anywhere near the boys when they are trying to reproduce because they would rather be with their male farmer than lady Ostriches.

jo, to random

Funny @GoldenRetrieverGF , except I can't let you get away with pronouncing Gouda as "good-a". "How-da" f*ck do you expect me to let that pass by? 🤣🤣

RE: https://blahaj.zone/notes/9qgt5gylmhhn00nt

GoldenRetrieverGF,

@jo in the US we did pronounce it that way. But it still works if you imagine I'm overemphasizing my words for silliness. Like when god is pronounced Gawd.

Edit: I should not type without coffeee

GoldenRetrieverGF, to Humor

I am consitently fascinated with how German actually eliminates vocabulary but in turn actually increases the length of a lot of words, but also makes German a shorter language. My first experience was my first time on the autobahn with Ein/Ausfahrt. In the US it's onramp and exit.

Next was when we were building our kitchen and the building had Ein/ausgang. Entrance and exit. But now I have received a promotion and I am doing more exacting and bureactratic work. Recently it was Ausnahme and Maßnahme. Nahmen is the präteritum conjugation of the verb Nehmen (En: to take). Präteritum vs Present is like take vs took. An aus ( en:out ) nahme ( en:take ). Out-take therefore exception or the grounds for an exception. Maß is measure so a measured take is a step or a procedure.

German makes things very efficient so the word Bundesverfasungsgericht is Federal Constitutional Court ( Supreme Court ) and Donaudampfschiffahrtsgesellschaftskapitän translates to Donau Steamboat Company Captain. And it gets much much worse. But I can't lie it is quite efficient and actually lowers the bar for understanding. I don't need a large vocabulary just the ability to parse words over 50km in length.

GoldenRetrieverGF, to random

You ever hear the joke about Oedipus and Midas? It was mother-fucking gold!

GoldenRetrieverGF, to Korean

I always get a good laugh over people that think language doesn't change. Gender Neutral is trying to make it's way into german and a bunch of conservatives are just losing their minds. When one of my classmates asked one of my Teachers in German Class in Germany, he replied

"When I was young my teacher said that it is 'Zu Dem' Zum does not exist." and left it at that. Obviously it was in German. Teachers are not allowed to speak any other language. This was for ease.

If you were to drive to the Store, you could say "Ich fahre zum Supermarkt" because zum is now part of common language and taught in schools as formal German.

You can try to resist and mock living languages but the people and the languages will live to mock your stubborness, blindness and blatant conceit. It doesn't matter if it's German, Spanish, English or whatever. Languages change. Strict adherence to the Duden or whatever just makes you look like an asshole.

GoldenRetrieverGF, to Funny

Nonbinary joke of the day.

There are 10 types of people in this world.

*Those that know binary
*Those that don't
*And those that didn't expect this joke to be in base 3

This joke was told to me by a nonbinary computer programmer. To this day it makes me think about what binary and nonbinary are and what assumptions I make about this world.

GoldenRetrieverGF, to DadBin

@thatfrisiangirlish and I were talking about cussing.

Me: My mother is so disappointed but it's just how cooks talk in every language. It's always spiced liberally with profanity.

Ae: But you're so cute and harmless when you cuss.

Me: 🥺 what do you mean. I'm big and scary.

Ae: What even is "Shit on a shingle"?

GoldenRetrieverGF,

@autistic_enby honestly have not but a lot of what I serve could be considered as such. I fear any reis that isn't white butter rice would be too ethnic for the average German and some of the blander things I cook are generally served with rice. So yes I make Scheiß mit Reis every day.

GoldenRetrieverGF, to random

And then comes @thatfrisiangirlish to experiment and find yes, I woof on command. I'm so much of a subby doggo that I might just be a subwoofer.

GoldenRetrieverGF, to Europe

So I went to the Netherlands a few months ago. You gotta understand some Golden Retriever Girlfriend lore here. My mother's maiden name was Van Diest but she was adopted from a Lesbian grandmother of the last name Van Dussen. I think Dussen is closer to Belgium but you get the picture. My family is from a Dutch Quarter of Southern California.

Van means from this area. It's Dutch. Von would be fron this noble house and is German. Similar but different and Van + google maps makes things easy to find.

I fit in amongst Germans. My body type is rather Scandinavian. I don't look Eastern European. Slavish that is. But I don't know how to tell you this most Germans aren't blue eyed and blonde haired. The Dutch however...

When I went to the Netherlands I went from a fitting exception that will get numbers in a bar to being a vanilla Dutch. It was a very weird feeling. Exception to norm. It was like walking in a nation of clones. Really xenophobic clones but still.

I'm still confused by Europe. Like handshakes are binding in German and the french love to kiss each other. Culture and genetics are weird topics.

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