A snowman just saw me walking on a ridge. Had to kill him. Wouldn't promise not to talk. I mean, that guy's dead. BIG TIME. Like, I've killed a lot of things, but that snowman is 100% dead. #Bigfoot
I've heard the ability to make fire is important. I will prioritize fire above inventing the ganoosh, which I've been working on my entire life. The ganoosh would have enabled many shake uses, such as to shake it at birds to let them know I can't grab them but I hate them. #Bigfoot
The worst smack talkers are Frankensteins. They can rarely find the right words to say good smack, especially to dogs. OMG, dogs really have a hey-day in Frankenstein smackdowns. #Bigfoot
Jerksquatch told me I'm a human in a costume if I can stretch my hand across my entire face. I can't tell, though, because every time I try to check, he pushes my hand into my face. "STOP PUSHING MY HAND! MY HAND GOES INTO MY FACE, WHICH IS ANNOYING, & I CAN'T PERFORM THE TEST!" #Bigfoot
I will invent the "kamaka-takata-ka-takata-tk-tkk-vavavavavavavavavavava" today. It will allow me to point at things the way a stick does. I think I will make it out of a stick. #Bigfoot
I'm waving at a Sasquatch in the distance, but he refuses to acknowledge me. This is getting awkward. "I'M NOT WAVING AT YOU! I'M WAVING AT...A HORSE...THAT...WILL BE THERE LATER!". Victory. #Bigfoot
I'm trying to appreciate flowers like a human. "HELLO FLOWERS. DIE. I APPRECIATE YOUR BEAUTY. I'M IN AWE LIKE A WEAKLING OMG I CAN'T DO IT YOU FREAKING FLOWERS!" #Bigfoot
I just figured out numbers. When a human says, "There are 3 squirrels", he's saying "THERE are 3 squirrels". Like, "Hey, everyone, I found the squirrels", and the "3" part is just randomly said. #Bigfoot
All I need to speak good is to imprison an alien and a human. I reverse mind control the human's language center, and force the feed through the alien, who I've Hive Minded. Obviously, I got the idea watching ET use a Speak & Spell to communicate with space. #Bigfoot