5:01 and Done: No One Wants to Schmooze After Work

Office happy hours, client dinners and other after-hours work gatherings lose their luster as more people feel the pull of home

Patience for after-hours work socializing is wearing thin.

After an initial burst of postpandemic happy hours, rubber chicken dinners and mandatory office merriment, many employees are adopting a stricter 5:01-and-I’m-done attitude to their work schedules. More U.S. workers say they’re trying to draw thicker lines between work and the rest of life, and that often means clocking out and eschewing invites to socialize with co-workers. Corporate event planners say they’re already facing pushback for fall activities and any work-related functions that take place on weekends.

dystop,
@dystop@lemmy.world avatar

Companies when trying to get workers to bond: “We’re a family, we take care of each other!”

Companies when workers ask for cost-of-living increases: “No, not like that”

HulkSmashBurgers,

Are they gonna pay me for the time I spend at these "social events? No? Eat a bag o’ dicks then.

eran_morad,

Fuck work. They gotta bribe me to be there, I’m putting in minimal time and effort. Fuck all that bullshit.

andy_wijaya_med,
@andy_wijaya_med@lemmy.world avatar

It really depends on the work you’re doing I guess. Can you imagine if a neurosurgeon who gonna operate on you (hypothetically) think like that?

Malfeasant,

I’d rather be cut into by a neurosurgeon who does it because he’s paid than one who does it because it’s fun…

andy_wijaya_med,
@andy_wijaya_med@lemmy.world avatar

By putting minimal time and effort? Good luck coming out of the surgery intact…

datelmd5sum,

16:53 rounds up to 17:00.

kucing,

Me at 16:30: *le double clicking steam

Powerpoint,

These events are a way for the employer to get free labour out of their employees as you’ll most likely be talking about your similar interest which is work.

marx2k,

Ehhh i don’t think that’s it

TheMusicalFruit,

Nobody likes forced fun.

eran_morad,

The ladies in my office seem to really love this sorta shit.

cantstopthesignal,

Also wages are shit compared to inflation. I don’t know how anyone can afford to eat out and have drinks unless they are killing it.

Telodzrum,

Real wages are actually up.

DeanFogg,

Compared to inflation

Telodzrum,

real wages

RazorsLedge,

What’s a real wage?

MelodiousFunk,
MelodiousFunk avatar

More than what I get.

Telodzrum,

A measurement of nominal wages against a series of basket of goods indices that control for real-world value of earnings — accounting for inflation and a number of other market and environmental factors.

grayman,

The company I work for was nice enough to give me a 5% COL increase last year. Groceries are 50% higher. Gas 25%. Insurance 20%. Clothing is definitely at least 10%. Restaurants about 20%.

But yeah… My “real” wage is higher.

I’m guessing you also believe in Keynesian economics.

Cryophilia,

Wait what’s wrong with keynesian economics?

Telodzrum,

Nothing in particular, it’s better than classical economics and is an actual thing unlike MMT. It’s certainly not perfect, but I don’t know that a perfect school of economic thought is even possible.

rambaroo,

No they’re not. Wages have not kept up with inflation over the last few years.

Gumbyyy,

Wages have not kept up with inflation over the last few years decades.

rockSlayer,

Wsj is owned by Murdoch. We aren’t supposed to find reasons for this phenomenon, just a “hey that’s weird, I wonder why ¯⁠\⁠⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠⁠/⁠¯”

cantstopthesignal,

It’s millennials fault for not buying stuff.

fluke,

No, no. It’s millennial’s fault for not buying the right stuff.

son_named_bort,

In my case one of the bosses pays for the drinks. Makes it a lot easier.

Copythis,

I stay as long as possible because I don’t want to go home to my abusive wife.

Sometimes I can’t sleep on Sundays because I’m so excited to go to work the next day.

Grumpy,

This and this other comment are stark opposites of life.

Copythis,

I need help.

crimsdings,

Ah yes I can decide between spending time with my wife and children or hanging out with coworker talking about work I’ve just been in for 8 hours. What a hard choice

Grumpy,

This and this other comment are stark opposites of life.

crimsdings,

Poor guy - I only work for the money - if I’d have enough money I would only spend time with my wife ane children and family and friends.

Copythis, (edited )

I absolutely love spending time with my kids, don’t get me wrong.

They’re seeing the abuse and it’s terrifying. Luckily she sleeps in until about 2pm on weekends, so I use those mornings (including this morning) to take them to the park and spend time with them.

I’ve been trying to leave but she keeps threatening to take them away. I don’t know what to do. I’m going to call a divorce lawyer on Monday.

I do absolutely everything for my kids. I cook dinner every night, I bathe them every night, I get them ready and take them to school every morning. I am a man so I’m terrified the court will rule in her favor and she’ll take them away.

At night I’m reminded of how horrible of a person and father I am. I’m so tired of it.

Edit: I also absolutely love my job. I work on photocopiers. I feel like I help the community and make people happy. My job almost feels like a hobby to me. I am high functioning autistic and my obsession is anything mechanical, so it’s the perfect job for me.

crimsdings,

Mate you need evidence - collect a lot of evidence. Video and audio recording - messages - witnesses - everything you can get.

Hope you make it!

Furbag,

On one hand, I’m a bit bummed out that my generally positive workplace culture has all but completely evaporated in the wake of the pandemic and nobody wants to even come in to the office anymore, let alone mingle or hang out after work. I genuinely enjoyed the company of a few of my co-workers and even though I was definitely a 5:01-and-done kind of guy, I would still make an effort to be friends with the ones that I liked outside of a professional setting.

On the other hand, I absolutely cannot blame anybody for not wanting to put in the social effort. For a long time I was a “fuck it, it’s quittin’ time, I’m out of here!” person and I would blow out of the office after flatly rejecting my co-workers requests to hang after work because I just didn’t like to socialize that much back then, and I would resent people who were pushy about going out for drinks or staying out really late at night. Despite the fact that I do enjoy doing those things now that I’m older, I don’t want to be “that guy” to anyone else, and I refrain from judging anybody for declining to socialize after work. Maybe they are introverted and shy? Maybe they don’t want to catch COVID? Maybe they have a kid to go home to? Maybe they just don’t like my company and they want to go home and read a book or something? Whatever it is, it’s none of my business, so more power to those people.

Copernican,

I kind of have similar vibes. I joined a company months after acquisition with a long 2 year migration to joining the mothership standards. During that time beers were opened at 4pm on Thursdays for team knowledge share sessions that carried over into happy hours that had a company tab for the first round. In this environment ive made lifelong friends, served as groomsmen and pallbearers for colleagues that I befriended, but also accelerated my career by making professional relationships with folks beyond the sphere of my immediate work duty relationships.I do think there was a “terroir” of conditions that made it work. I don’t think it can easily be replicated. But it kind of bums me out that the current work culture described in the post basically blocks this from ever happening again. I don’t think I’ll be able to informally provide the mentorship and guidance that I so greatly benefited from when I was young and new to the now new generation, or cultivate friendships like I used to.

Raxiel,

My company is similar (although there’s still people trying to organise things) but while things changed over the pandemic, they were already planning on full hot desking and reduced floor space (lucky for them they’d just implemented the infrastructure for large scale WFH as the lockdown began). The sense of a “Team” has completely gone, the majority of people I work with are based in other parts of the country or even overseas, going to a social event at my local office would just be mingling with people I don’t know, don’t work with, and only have the name at the top of our paychecks in common. So I don’t bother, and they wonder why.

Dkarma,

No one has time. I got shit to do, errands to run. Kids to pick up 39 min ago.

terminhell,

Hang with people I barely know on a personal level after work? Why would I do that? I’ve got another full-time job waiting for me: Life/parent. I barely have time for my own family, let alone a work ‘family’.

freebread,

“Work family?” You mean like the Manson Family?

sheogorath,

It can be beneficial to keep a good relationship with your coworkers. I’ve had more than a few opportunities come my way because I have a network of friends that I made at work.

Not_Alec_Baldwin,

… In a (generally) mildly toxic environment where I feel judged and under appreciated?

Count me out.

Workplaces used to be a lot more casual.

Fraylor,

Honestly we need to move back towards making friends in our communities and not our workplace. I don’t know how it happened but the way we’ve managed to only have friends from work while not knowing the name of our neighbor should never have been the norm. Of course this works out perfect for the nolifers who always get the promotions, and the bosses who need their asses kissed to function.

Fapper_McFapper,

This is one of the most sadest and poignant things I’ve read in a long time. Spot on.

assassin_aragorn,

I’ve been talking with a friend about this after he pointed out the nuclear family really is fairly recent as a post WW2 thing. We’ve seen multigenerational households increase in the wake of the pandemic. Part of me thinks we’re going to see a movement back to that.

If people stay closer to home, that means friends from growing up are closer. They aren’t spread out across the whole country.

Natanael,

Because “3rd places” have been hollowed out, especially non monetized ones, there’s fewer places to just meet people

Fraylor,

Yeah, it’s overwhelmingly clear that too many people who can make decisions have this idea that “not revenue generating” = worthless.

Artaca,

But muh passive incooooommmeeee

MJBrune,

With 3rd places needing to be profitable, it puts a really big stress on them getting throughput. So then that turns them into bars, restaurants, pool halls, or arcades. If they don’t they don’t make money and they can’t keep the space they are renting.

SCB,

3rd places were always monetized.

Phegan,

Parks and community centers were valid non-monititzed 3rd places.

And whether or not you agree with them, places of worship were often an additional third place.

SCB,

Parks and community spaces are presently non-monetized and usage has not changed, so it doesn’t really make sense to include them in this discussion.

Same with place of worship.

Natanael,

There are a lot of gated parks

Phegan,

We created a car-centric sprawled out world where you no longer engage with community members face to face, as much of your time outside of your house is simply walking to your car to drive to the nearest commercial center.

lingh0e,

I am happy with my job. I am paid a fair wage for the work I do. I am given a ton of leeway with arriving late/leaving early to accommodate my kids and their various goings on. All in all, it’s a great arrangement.

I am still out the door at the very minute my shift ends. Not a second later.

TransplantedSconie,

Yep!

I also drive a little bit faster headed home lol

Towards the “mines”? Not so much.

Blackmist,

Nobody wants to spend time with the kind of people who don’t want to go home after work.

We all know the type with their overly loud laughing at the bosses jokes.

fuckwit_mcbumcrumble,

Depends on the work environment. Where I work I’m more than happy to hang out with my co workers after work, but that’s because management doesn’t shove a stick up everyone’s ass, nor do we hire that type of people.

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