United Healthcare Introduces Ear Infection Loyalty Card named “Infectious Rewards”

United Healthcare, one of the largest health insurance providers in the US, recently introduced a new loyalty program targeting families with children who are prone to ear infections. The program, called “Infectious Rewards,” promises to give a free coffee mug to parents whose children experience 7 or more ear infections in a single year.

Named “Infectious Rewards,” this innovative program aims to reward parents who are constantly caring for their children’s chronic ear infections. “We know that ear infections can be a real pain, both for children and their parents,” said United Healthcare spokesperson, Jane Billingsly. “That’s why we wanted to give something back to those parents who would gladly trade one of their thumbs in exchange for one month of winter without their children being sick.”

Read the rest of the hilarious satire news article here on TattletaleTimes.com

AceFuzzLord,

Where was that when I was a baby?

Edit: didn’t realize this is satire…

corsicanguppy,

I was fooled as well; but I can see it happening.

“Spend a bucket of money and get a branded coffee mug!” is so America right now.

holycrap,

Let me guess. When the punch card is filled up they drop your coverage?

tattletaletimes,
@tattletaletimes@lemmy.world avatar

Wouldn’t be surprising at all!

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