Aphobia is bigotry against #asexual (#ace) or #aromantic (#aro) people (sometimes agender, too). And in the following posts I will do a little explainer.
(I won't talk about agender, because I'm not agender.)
#Aphobia may come even from the #LGBTQ+ community: There's this idea that #asexual and #aromantic people do not belong to the LGBTQ+. A common excuse is we're not "oppressed enough". 🤡
Here's the thing: ALL #aces and #aros violate #heteronormativity. No matter how you twist and turn it, it's impossible to be ace/aro AND fully comply with heteronormativity.
Excluding people who violate heteronormtivity is patently absurd.
The social norm is constructed: not naturally occurring but created by the society in which it is found.
Hence there are no actions which in themselves are inherently #abnormal or universally condemned by all societies at all times. Deviance is thus situational and contextual.
Rough contact and impact peak around the age of seven. This is gradually replaced by peer monitoring in the years that follow.
Isabelle Clair: "Adolescence is a very normative age. At middle school, "there's a very tough relationship to what's the right thing to do".
Margot Déage: "Physical violence is much more prevalent in elementary/primary school, then decreases in middle school, and progressively through high school."
Margot Déage: "A girl who does not belong to a boy or a man can fall into the category of whore at any time, whatever her clothes or sexual practices."
Margot Déage: "Being in a position to say who’s a whore and who’s a good girl is a power in itself within the girls’ group, a power that is strongly mobilised by certain girls. The ones who can fall, in general, are the hardest on the matter."
"If a young woman does not follow the social injunction to have feelings in a sexual relationship, she knows that she risks being called to order, being punished. Or to feel shame or guilt. This burden of the social norm is primarily internalised."
"There is, in all circles, the threatening 'spectre of the faggot'. The determination to appear as 'a man, a real man' and secure one's masculinity, while escaping suspicion of homosexuality, which is considered demeaning and dangerous. Some gay boys from privileged backgrounds have told me that they were in a relationship with a girl at school to give the impression, to cover their tracks."
"If a young woman does not follow the social injunction to have feelings in a sexual relationship, she knows that she risks being called to order, being punished. Or to feel shame or guilt. This burden of the social norm is primarily internalised."
"There is, in all circles, the threatening 'spectre of the faggot'. The determination to appear as 'a man, a real man' and secure one's masculinity, while escaping suspicion of homosexuality, which is considered demeaning and dangerous. Some gay boys from privileged backgrounds have told me that they were in a relationship with a girl at school to give the impression, to cover their tracks."
#newResearch on Daddy-Daughter Dances, and their role in heteronormativity and stigmatization. Explicitly gendered events such as these informally exclude people without heteronormative family structures. Thanks to Ezra Temko, Emily Love, Destiny Baxter, Adam Loesch & Heidi Masching for a great article.
The woman I lost my virginity to later broke up with me because she was too freaked out dating a “man” who wasn’t obsessively trying to get into her pants and just wanted to hang out. It genuinely caused harm to her self esteem because she interpreted it as me being grossed out by her body.
Every time I think of her I want to go hunt her down and be like “Girl, please tell me you’ve gotten a therapist in the last twenty years, because holy shit was that bad…”
“Artist/designer Kuang-Yi Ku and Prof Dr Henry de Vries, who specializes in sexually transmitted infections (STIs), pooled their knowledge and skills to challenge the medical patriarchy, heteronormativity and white Western dominance of anatomy education by constructing an ambiguous, uncertain, fluctuating anatomical system.”