My children have received autism-specific therapy and learned key NT social skills from it. I am happy to share my understanding of their experience, but I would ask permission first since this question was directed at autistic people and my official role in the family as dad and husband is being “the most neurotypical one.”
Edit to add: they have learned skills that help them navigate life, including life in a NT dominant world. I hesitate to label them as NT skills because they are used by my autistic children and maybe the actual skill is approached differently, but that is probably pedantic.
Body positivity is such a strange concept to me. There’s efforts to reclaim words while simultaneously calling them bad if used as an insult. Ideally, people wouldn’t be offended by someone describing their body with common descriptors, but socially there is so much value attributed to certain body types that it’s almost...
I think that you have internalized a version of body positivity that lies on the most extreme end of what is meant by that phrase. Body positivity - be comfortable with who you are and do not put down on others due to their body.
The odds are that I am significantly fatter than you. The odds also favor that I am significantly stronger than you, even if you lift weights. I can also probably walk all day much farther than you can.
Would it be healthier if I lose body fat? Absolutely. Have I tried for 20 years to do that? Yes. I am not ignorant regarding nutrition. I am not lazy. I am not overall lacking willpower. I am fat but otherwise healthy.
Body positively means that my doctor treats my body fat as what it is - one aspect of my overall health. He does not assume that every problem I have is because I am fat, even though changing that would improve some aspects of my health.
Body positively also means that I am not going to hide when I go to the beach. I am going to go shirtless and enjoy myself. If you do not find me sexually attractive, that is fine. If you are going to shame or mock me for my body fat, then you are an asshole. If I catch wind of you mocking me, I will quietly estimate how many times your bodyweight I will deadlift on Monday. If you choose to mock the scars that cover parts of my body from extreme, life-saving surgery, I may feel the need to firmly educate you on exactly what sort of asshole you are.
Body positively often conjures the image of a morbidly obese girl on OnlyFans who lets people pay to watch her binge and intentionally get fatter while she says being purposefully inactive is just as healthy as hitting the gym. The real versions of that person are extremely rare, but their radicalism, vociferous nature, and platform make their voices much louder in comparison. Their argument is also easy to find flaw with and mock, so they get used as if they are a typical example of body positivity.
You are right in that the woman I describe above needs help and is not behaving in a safe or healthy way. I also understand why you might think that is the norm. She is not, though, and I would encourage you to look deeper at the meaning of the “movement.”
The “you” above is generic and based on broad assumptions. You, the reader, might be stronger than me and have way more endurance than me. You also might be fatter than I am. The odds are very good that you are also not an asshole. My point was to call out variances from the norm as convenient examples, of which I have plenty in both directions.
Generally, no, but it did last night. We had moved into a new house, and we were trying to tell Uber Eats which train station we were closest to so our delivery person could get off at that station before driving to our house.
We do not love near a train station. It was weird as dreams tend to be.
Aerobic respiration - the evolutionary moment where our ancestors traded immortality for complexity
That was the phrasing used in a biology of death class I took many years ago. It lives rent free in my mind because ruminating on it so perfectly summarizes the “choices” made by natural selection and the way they echo throughout the history of life on Earth.
It does, and it largely mirrors what I was expecting. I had hoped that there is more concrete advice, but I suspect that we are beyond the level where advice is straightforward.
“Congratulations! You will never be able to do your own taxes again,” was the advice from those coordinating our current co-investment opportunity. I suspect that may be the last direct advice we may get for a long time.
Our health plan does not give us access to an HSA, so that is off the table for the foreseeable future. I will check out the wiki, so thank you for that!
That is interesting. I loved the original in my youth, but now that I am older, a cancer survivor, and with a lifetime of challenge and too many dead loved ones, Cash’s version speaks to me on a different level.
I’m not yucking your yum one bit. I am happy that you have a song that speaks to you.
It sounds like you are focused on the Pacific Coast and western North America. If the East is also a choice, I love the White Mountains in New Hampshire. The mountains are small in stature compared to the Rockies, but they have beautiful views and challenging hikes. There are also outdoor touristy things as well.
Florida needs all of the protectionism it can muster - Florida beef is just lousy. It turns out that just because you can raise cattle somewhere spent mean you should.
Senators were not elected by the people before the 17th amendment. The House of Representatives represent the interests of the people of their districts, so they were elected by the people. Senators represent the interests of their state as an entity, so they were elected by the legislature of their state or appointed by their governor.
The USA at the federal level is a republic, not a direct democracy. We elect those who vote upon the federal laws. I’m that easy, some worry that more voice of the people and less of the state as an entity runs afoul of that notion and the constitution itself.
I understand that point from a limited perspective, but it is now frequently used as a way to ignore constituents and beat the drum of fascism. Do not trust a politician that is worried about the 17th amendment. That ship sailed a century ago.
This issue really evokes my emotions, because of how much I love sports. I think sports are a vitally important part of the human experience. I guess dance is, too, but we’re not talking about dance, in and of itself....
I have always held that the up votes are for well written, thoughtful posts regardless of if I like the opinion. This is not really well written or thoughtful. It has a certain unhinged vibe to it.
I did up vote for the passion and because I sort of love a little chaos, but it was a tight choice.
The Federal Trade Commission narrowly voted Tuesday to ban nearly all noncompetes, employment agreements that typically prevent workers from joining competing businesses or launching ones of their own.
Super regular, but thanks for the warning. I also can’t vape because oral cancer - unrelated to smoking - took half my tongue. Doctors aren’t keen on vaping after that for some reason.
The fast acting edibles out there now are way more forgiving than traditional as well. They hit much faster so there is less risk of overdoing it.
I’ve read about there being no actual weed on the strip. My wife hates the taste of pot, so we almost exclusively use Wana fast acting gummies, which are thankfully available at several places in Vegas. I’ll be sure to check out The Reef while we are there since we are staying nearby at The Venetian. Actually, I think The Reef is where the guy at my local pot shop told me to buy after we check out Planet 13 for the spectacle.
Lost Spirits was going to be a highlight of our trip, and we are damn sad that it is closing before we go in July. I wish we could have experienced it.
Thank you for the advice. We are experienced with edibles, so we know our tolerances well. It helps that the new fast acting edibles make it so much easier to tweak your level of high.
We have navigated NYC high many times, and it’s been a blast. Times Square at night while stoned is especially fun. I’m assuming Vegas won’t be worse than midtown Manhattan for needing to be aware of traffic, etc.
That is pretty much exactly what the guy at my local pot shop said to me when he learned we were staying at the Venetian. Go to Planet 13 for the experience, then walk down the street to buy your weed.
Yeah, it is. The injections suck, and the hormone shifts are awful. One of my friends is a general practitioner in the Navy, and every time he prescribes any fertility hormone, he also gives a referral for couples counseling. “I know you believe you won’t need it, and you might be right, but in my experience by the time you realize you need it, you need it RIGHT NOW.” The IVF hormones are around then the ones he can prescribe, and it was a wild ride.
Of course I don’t know your SIL, but please extend my best to her and her family at some point. As one stranger on the Internet who knows roughly the path she walked, I am very happy it went well for her in the end.
Also, real talk, you sound like a great in-law to her for being so aware of everything. Kudos to you.
I love all the ritualized behaviour, secret meanings and unexpected taboos - standing up when someone of higher status stands, elaborate rules for serving and eating, tapping the table to thank the server, never refuse a toast from a superior, stuff like that....
For those who are truly into etiquette, we understand that it is a gift we give to others and hope they will choose to return in kind. It is actually extremely poor etiquette to point out the missteps of others. The superior you unfortunately had to deal with was an asshole. Being an asshole is pretty much never appropriate.
I stand to greet others because it shows them respect and maybe because I am a little old fashioned. I take off my hat in private spaces for the same reason. I also know enough etiquette to know that modern hat customs have been modified because they are more of a fashion piece now than a protective garment. Hats have different rules when their primary purpose is to be an accessory.
Do you know what I do when someone gets etiquette “wrong?” Nothing! It is rude to police others. The most someone should do is to gently steer others away from a faux pas if it would likely cause them embarrassment or future difficulty.
I think what I really want to write is that I am sorry etiquette has been used as a social bludgeon against you. Good etiquette should feel seamless and unobtrusive. Formality can be lovely, and instead it has been a bad experience for you. That sucks.
Edit to add: I am really talking about classic English/American etiquette. I am in no place to comment on things like the etiquette in many Asian nations. I know some of the customs, but little of the nuance that goes into them.
Those of us that have undergone autism-specific therapy or training to learn to socialize better, what lessons did you learn?
I think it would be interesting to share lessons we’ve learned about socializing that didn’t come natural to us like they do for NTs....
What do you think of the term "short king" as a term that's supposed to champion body positivity for men?
Body positivity is such a strange concept to me. There’s efforts to reclaim words while simultaneously calling them bad if used as an insult. Ideally, people wouldn’t be offended by someone describing their body with common descriptors, but socially there is so much value attributed to certain body types that it’s almost...
Do your sleep dreams include mobile phones?
If a mobile (cell, handy) phone is part of your life, do your dreams include reference to it?...
Oxygen (mander.xyz)
cross-posted from: mander.xyz/post/12777132
Selecting a CFP - not just the basics
How would you go about selecting a Certified Financial Planner?...
There are songs we've gone our whole lives without hearing and the best song we've ever heard might still be out there.
Travel Ideas US and Canada
Thinking about going somewhere with my family this summer, perhaps to Alaska, Hawaii (Kauai), or somewhere Canada....
Ron DeSantis bans 'global elite' lab-grown meat (www.bbc.com)
Florida Governor Ron DeSantis has banned lab-grown meat, saying he will “save our beef” from the “global elite” and its “authoritarian plans”....
The WA GOP put it in writing that they’re not into democracy (www.seattletimes.com)
This year, Olympic medals will be awarded for breakdancing, and it literally makes me sick to my stomach.
This issue really evokes my emotions, because of how much I love sports. I think sports are a vitally important part of the human experience. I guess dance is, too, but we’re not talking about dance, in and of itself....
U.S. bans noncompete agreements for nearly all jobs (www.npr.org)
The Federal Trade Commission narrowly voted Tuesday to ban nearly all noncompetes, employment agreements that typically prevent workers from joining competing businesses or launching ones of their own.
Edibles in Las Vegas
We are going to Vegas, and Wifey and I want to wander around like stoned idiots looking at all the pretty lights. You know, like reasonable people....
Steak bomb with shishito peppers! (lemmy.world)
Why is it a steak bomb and not a cheesesteak?...
I'm happy to be able to live in this world, we all came into existence here somehow. Not sex, before that, you we're nothing, and now you're something! Yay! Oh wait, it's not forever? Damn.
What's the most interesting traditional or formal politeness behaviour or table manners in your culture? Or for any service personnel, in your restaurant?
I love all the ritualized behaviour, secret meanings and unexpected taboos - standing up when someone of higher status stands, elaborate rules for serving and eating, tapping the table to thank the server, never refuse a toast from a superior, stuff like that....