Madhattermommy

Madhattermommy, 5 months ago to random

This guy was misbehaving in our online call and no one wanted to do anything about it.
I call him “the elephant in the zoom”.

Madhattermommy, 6 months ago to random

Welcome to the Middle Ages, you can’t be sure if your car seats are creaky or it’s just your knees.

ottaross, 6 months ago to india

Can someone in #India, or who has spent time there, clarify the place of spiced #chai in daily life there?

Do people drink most of their tea with the spicy additions or just an occasional cuppa? Is it mostly an evening drink or at other times of day?

Madhattermommy, 7 months ago to random

Taking applications for the post of an assistant who’s only job is to tell people to fuck off.

Madhattermommy, 7 months ago to random

I am a born winner, I am the sperm that won.

Madhattermommy, 7 months ago to random

Sorry your physics jokes did not appeal to the masses. If only there was more chemistry between you guys, you could have had the desired reaction.

Madhattermommy, 7 months ago to random

Them: Physical pain drowns emotional pain

Me: goes to the salon to get waxed

Madhattermommy, 8 months ago to random

Once I tattoo “emotional danger walking” on my forehead, it’s all on you.

Madhattermommy, 8 months ago to random

I either have no personality or multiple personalities - there is no in between.

Madhattermommy, 8 months ago to random

Them: this is the fish knife, butter knife, salad knife and steak knife
Me:
Me: which is the knife to stab myself?

Madhattermommy, 8 months ago to random

Someone asked me to make a list of my strengths and so far the best I have is “letting assholes around me live”.

Madhattermommy, 8 months ago to random

Do people still name their babies Richard?

Madhattermommy, 8 months ago to random

My therapist: oh my socks are loose
Me:
Me: are you feeling shrinky?

Madhattermommy, 8 months ago to random

The sexual tension between my tendency to do something stupid and my resolve not to.

Madhattermommy, 8 months ago to random

I can do it well if you want it done wrong.

Madhattermommy, 9 months ago to random

Ugly isn’t a look, it’s a personality.

Madhattermommy, 9 months ago to random

Do people who send us endless messages know that we need to constantly mark them as read to be able to live peacefully?

Madhattermommy, 9 months ago to random

I’m on “currently sleeping on the unfolded laundry” stage of chores.

Madhattermommy, 9 months ago to random

Someone just told me that she doesn’t like pyjamas and now I don’t know how to like her.

Madhattermommy, 9 months ago to random

Does anyone else get a bit emotional when people like you for your humour more than anything else?

lowqualityfacts, 10 months ago to random

I think Abe was right.
https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts