@MattHatton@aus.social
@MattHatton@aus.social avatar

MattHatton

@MattHatton@aus.social

Fuckable cartoon dog, award-winning baker, one-man think tank and farm dad simulator, amongst other things. Goes by many names.

I am not here to facilitate good life choices. Piss bread.

Would you like to join my professional network on LinkedIn?

You can't blame toilet for your sadness.

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

MattHatton, to random
@MattHatton@aus.social avatar

For the first time in about four and a half years, I am going to the airport. To catch a plane.

MattHatton, to random
@MattHatton@aus.social avatar

Right. It’s dark. The Gran Turismo movie is on Amazon Prime. We’re going to :tgif: and turn the sound up loud.

MattHatton, to random
@MattHatton@aus.social avatar

How to tell, in three words, that you're about to read something that is incredibly stupid.

MattHatton, to random
@MattHatton@aus.social avatar

Right. Time to meander down to the train station.

MattHatton, to random
@MattHatton@aus.social avatar

Work laptop has been given to IT.

The options were do that or throw it out the window that my office does not have.

MattHatton, to random
@MattHatton@aus.social avatar

Team, I just took the six-year old (and the babby) to a birthday party and…it was a thing.

We start with the entry signage. I come across that and think “well that’s elaborate, but I guess if you want to splash out on a big entrance thing that’s cool.”

Then you go inside.

Inside was a jumping castle.

Not just any jumping castle. A jumping castle with the kid’s fucking name on it. A personal jumping castle.

Jumping castle with the birthday kid’s name on it.

MattHatton, to random
@MattHatton@aus.social avatar

All set, ready for delivery tomorrow.

MattHatton, to random
@MattHatton@aus.social avatar

"How likely are you to reccommend Microsoft Teams to others?"

My guys. Sweet summer children. Brothers in christ.

NO ONE HAS CONVERSATIONS LIKE THIS NOT NOW NOT EVER.

MattHatton, to random
@MattHatton@aus.social avatar

Why are we talking about swallowing micro SD cards?

I mean, everyone should give it a go at least once. But the sudden popularity is surprising.

MattHatton, to random
@MattHatton@aus.social avatar

What I love about reading job ads is coming away having no idea what at all the company is that’s advertising does.

At least in my line of work it does explain why they need a marketing manager.

MattHatton, to random
@MattHatton@aus.social avatar

Ok there are videos, but you can scrobble through them.

MattHatton, to random
@MattHatton@aus.social avatar

Right. I have now worked out how to over-engineer the DJing/sound stuff for the kiddo's birthday party on the weekend using existing equipment and an $80 outlay for Rogue Amoeba's Audio Hijhack software.

MattHatton, to random
@MattHatton@aus.social avatar

When you go and look at the map, you can really see how much of a nothingburger this whole noise thing is.

The vast majority of the land under the flight paths is either empty or industrial park hellscape.

https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2023/jun/27/areas-around-future-western-sydney-airport-to-face-vacuum-level-noise-100-times-a-day-by-2040

MattHatton, to random
@MattHatton@aus.social avatar

The kiddo got a bean bag chair for Chrimbo. Erin purchased beans with which to fill it.

They started the process five minutes ago in the kiddo’s bedroom.

Guess what happened next.

MattHatton, to random
@MattHatton@aus.social avatar

Seeing that another cohort is aging out of the Hottest 100 (and Triple J listening more generally) and, as a millennial, let me just say: welcome.

MattHatton, to random
@MattHatton@aus.social avatar

Colleague: "OneNote is great. You should use it."

Also colleague: is trying to share a OneNote file with me and it is absolutely 100 per cent not letting me open it lol

MattHatton, to random
@MattHatton@aus.social avatar

Increasingly looking like I'll be going to Melbourne for work in late Feb...getting the overnight train actually works out brilliantly in terms of timing.

MattHatton, to random
@MattHatton@aus.social avatar

Me: [going through the first tutorial bits of Starfield]

Kiddo: Is that Earth?

Me: No

K: It looks like Earth.

M: It’s not.

K: Well I think it is.

M: Cool, but it’s not. It’s not Earth.

K: How do you know?

M: Because that’s not the premise of the fucking game. Also it explicitly said so and I’d be able to tell you more if you shut up and let me listen.

MattHatton, to random
@MattHatton@aus.social avatar

Right. Eighty (yes, 80) party bags made up for the kiddo’s blowout tomorrow.

Erin is doing the cake and biscuits. I have two (2) freezers (none of which are overly large, granted) full of party pies and sausage rolls. There’s a wheel of Brie the size of a hubcap in the fridge. And plenty of other assorted nonsense.

I am having An Drink.

MattHatton, to random
@MattHatton@aus.social avatar

Whisky.

MattHatton, to random
@MattHatton@aus.social avatar

Gastro: not even once.

Holy shit I feel fucking terrible.

MattHatton, to GraphicDesign
@MattHatton@aus.social avatar

Putting some on the LinkedIn dot com because I am doing like a fucking

MattHatton, to random
@MattHatton@aus.social avatar

Babby has not had a lot of sleep today.

Babby was very overtired and upset.

Babby was sat in my lap watching the F3 race.

Babby cheered up considerably and was waving at the cars.

MattHatton, to random
@MattHatton@aus.social avatar

Home in time to watch the last practice session of the day from the Bathurst 12 Hour.

Beer is chilling in the fridge.

Once the cars are done, quick run to the under-new-ownership takeaway shop in the next village to discover what the quality of their burgers and chips are.

Then it's time for the Full Rod Steiger.

:tgif: :tgif: :tgif: :tgif: :tgif:

MattHatton, to random
@MattHatton@aus.social avatar

"You don't have to worry about clicking save, we're automatically saving your work as you go"

Yeah like fuck you are. I wasn't fucking born yesterday.

  • All
  • Subscribed
  • Moderated
  • Favorites
  • •
  • JUstTest
  • kavyap
  • DreamBathrooms
  • thenastyranch
  • magazineikmin
  • tacticalgear
  • cubers
  • Youngstown
  • mdbf
  • slotface
  • rosin
  • osvaldo12
  • ngwrru68w68
  • GTA5RPClips
  • provamag3
  • InstantRegret
  • everett
  • Durango
  • cisconetworking
  • khanakhh
  • ethstaker
  • tester
  • anitta
  • Leos
  • normalnudes
  • modclub
  • megavids
  • lostlight
  • All magazines
    •