Just saw an interesting post by someone missing the simplicity of their childhood. I know that most people wear rose coloured glasses when they’re feeling nostalgic, but I wonder how many autistic people read such posts & think, “No way!”?
I had lots of fun & interesting times during my childhood & adolescence, but there was also so much complexity, confusion & distress. Learning to mask made it easier. I could at least pretend to understand what was going on & therefore attract less negative attention. @actuallyautistic
I was watching a colleague teach using Inspiration. My brain exploded. And it’s bottom up. You’re starting with all the details then linking them together to see the big picture.
I nearly didn’t listen to this episode, because I’ve never had an eating disorder, but it’s almost more about identity & addiction & autonomy than eating disorders, and is fascinating as a result. @actuallyautistic#actuallyautistic
@pathfinder@actuallyautistic
I “ate like a horse”, had “hollow legs” & needed to have a heavy “ book on her head”. Was the youngest in my cohort (double whammy on poor social skills), but often the tallest.
@Susan60@actuallyautistic
I had other sensitivities of course. Light, sound, crowds and too much going on. But they were mostly the ones others struggled to see or understand and so I learnt to suppress them. Or at least my willingness to acknowledge them.
My oldest sent me this. My head just exploded. The first draft of my first 3000 word essay in uni was 8000 words long.
My history essays at uni were labours of love. I could never understand the concept of “pulling an all-nighter” the night before the essay was due. How was such a thing even possible? You had to do hours & hours of reading, note-taking, reflection…
And then write & write & write all that stuff that begged to be said, and then cull & cull & cull & then rewrite to knit the remaining pieces together fluently… And somehow end up with a piece that sent shivers down your spine & got you an HD.
Didn’t you? Or was that just me?
When teaching narrative writing to teens, I could only teach it in a formulaic way. I could only write formulaic model texts. They were quite good, with some character development, voice, interesting vocab etc, but the structure was formulaic.
I could never imagine myself as a writing a novel. Quirky short pieces maybe, but not a novel. And yet my oldest wrote their first novella as a teen.
I need to lie down. Oh, I am. It’s 5am and my cat adoption excitement has woken me. I’m discombobulated. Again.
@Susan60@actuallyautistic I wasn't even close to being a star student but I knocked my arts degree over in 2.5 years and managed 1 high distinction, from memory
I probably would have done a lot better if I put more effort in, and spent less time at the bar lol, but it all worked out in the end
I was in my 30s, single parent & part time retail worker. Took 4.5 years for my arts degree, mostly HDs & Ds, but to have settled for a lower standard wasn’t possible. Assignments only came together in a presentable form at the very end. Pulling them together took hours, let alone all the rest of it.
I’ve always been a “coper”, constantly trying to find ways to manage, to do what “needs” to be done etc, except for those periods when I was burnt out. I remember when feeling overwhelmed years ago, a counsellor helped me to see that it was possible to achieve everything that I needed to do over the next few days, as a single mum, students, part time worker. Which was great in the short term…
We got home from several days in Sydney yesterday. Monday & Tuesday we went out after spending the weekend with family, but kept it low key. Today I was supposed to head out for a counselling appointment, treating myself to a tram trip to a lovely neighbourhood & a cafe lunch afterwards. Instead she’s going to send me a link for an online session. And I might have a nap afterwards. I’m learning. Slowly. @actuallyautistic
My thoughts exactly. The private school I worked in was better (& expensive!) but only because the atmosphere was generally calmer, & kids less inclined to bully. (I think this is often due to generally lower levels of finance related family stress & angst, not because more privileged kids are in any way “nicer”.) Some autistic kids have higher levels of tolerance (I’m an example) but that doesn’t mean that they’re doing better than merely “coping”.
And if we start “streaming” autistic kids for their “suitability” for mainstream schools, we could end up with a distinction between “high functioning” kids who are simple better at coping & masking but not necessarily any “smarter”, & those with greater sensory needs, some of whom might thrive in smaller, quieter classes &/or with more support. @actuallyautistic
@Susan60@actuallyautistic We started our son off in a private school, and it was lovely there but he just more and more stressed. So we moved him to the public system and he is just so happy. Money does not buy your kids happiness.
Definitely not. I wonder what the issue was? I think the best schools are “good” public schools. They tend to be more innovative & consultative with both staff & students, depending on the principal (but I’m sure there’s some very good private schools too.) Some cohorts of kids can be much harder to work with, because there’s a limit to what a school can achieve, when the cohort is dealing with a lot of poverty, DV, substance abuse etc.
The biggest advantage at a private school is a more privileged cohort. Money doesn’t buy everything, & some issues such as DV, substance abuse etc also happen in wealthier families, but financial stress is sometimes at the bottom of a family’s woes. Not enough money can definitely be a problem.
I think some parents work & save very hard & sacrifice a lot of things to put their kids through private schools, when they would’ve been better off spending more time with their kids, taking them on family holidays etc. But if the local public school is very tough & buying into or renting in the zone of a “good” public school isn’t an option…