Hate spreaders need people to spread hate to, but people that are targeted by hate tend not to hang around in spaces where unrestrained hate is allowed.
It’s more to do with the lemmy itself as a platform handles than bandwith. Basically, there is only one channel between any two instances, and it’s serial, and each step requires multiple handshakes to complete. Add in geographic distance making those handshakes take a significant part of a second to complete, and you end up with a single channel that gets flooded.
Blahaj.zone is 1.3 million activities behind on lemmy.world for example, but we’re not behind on any other instance, because those channels don’t hit capacity. Now, if we could use multiple channels at once to talk to lemmy.world, we wouldn’t have a problem, but lemmy isn’t built for that at the moment
I feel that I should preface this by warning questioning people that looking for signs is generally not a good way to find out if you’re trans. Different people experience being trans in different ways....
Ironically, this trans fem never had that. I loved being shirtless before self acceptance, and I still do now, post transition. But society has more of an issue with me being topless now than it did before
I’m an extrovert, and I was a gifted kid. I haven’t been gaslit about my abilities, and I was supported and encouraged as a kid. I know what I’m capable of, and I know my limitations. I love myself, and wouldn’t choose to be anyone else.
Yet I hate compliments.
To me, compliments feel like someone passing judgement on me, like they’re putting themselves in a place above me so they can judge me. I’m aware that’s not what they’re doing, but that’s always been what it feels like to me.
However, you can compliment things I’ve done, and I’m here for it
There have been similar posts in the past and you all might be tired of commenting on them, but I’m really curious what it’s like for others. So here I am posting my own question thread....
I’m binary, but I feel that this is largely because I am a child of the era I was raised in and because of the binary experience of my physical dysphoria.
I don’t have a relationship with masculinity or femininity, and find them both of confusing. I resented both of them as a child and young adult, and just assumed that everyone felt trapped by them.
I feel that were I raised in an environment with a less constrained perspective on gender, my experience of my own gender would be less binary. Maybe that will still happen, but I don’t feel like it will? My identity has been pretty consistent and solid. Even before I accepted myself, I was in denial of my gender, but I don’t feel like it has changed in any meaningful way.
Attraction to others
I’m panromantic and heterosexual, but I am happiest in relationships with other women or enbies. I don’t like being seen as straight or cishet, and when I’m dating men, my queerness feels all but invisible. I overcame years of self repression to learn to love my queerness, and I don’t like the feeling of losing it after that journey.
Social traits
I’m an extroverted and proud queer! My social circles are almost entirely neurodivergent and/or queer folk
I’m working from the understanding of physical sex as the bio-bits
In a purely physical perspective, sexual characteristics don’t always fit in a neat binary though, and they can also change.
It’s not that simple though, because there’s a whole social structure attached to it. The social structure insists that sex is binary, and enforces roles and rules based on perceived sex. Another part of the social structure is the importance placed on sex. Left and right handedness is also a physical characteristic, but it’s not something you use to categorise people in your mental rolodex. If I ask you about your friend Alex, without thinking about it, you’ll be able to tell me Alex’s sex, because it’s something you are taught matters, but it’s a flip of a coin as to whether you can tell me whether Alex is left or right handed. And that reason for that is all down to the social importance placed on sex.
So yeah, sex is “bio bits” but probably not in way you’re thinking, and it comes with a whole bunch of social stuff too.
If we take gender as being an expression of your persona
It’s not.
then what function does a title/pronoun serve?
The pronouns people use to talk about you, are indicators of the social aspects I was talking about before, and a direct line in to how people perceive and “categorise” you.
We’ve had men or women who enjoy things traditionally associated with the other gender for as long as there have been people I expect. If that’s the case then what purpose does the need for a gender title serve?
I’m a trans woman. I don’t particularly enjoy things associated with women. I’m don’t understand femininity, and most of my interests are masculine coded.
Which is to say, this stuff has nothing to do with my gender.
It does relate to the social expectations of sex and gender, which means that they’re important to many folk, but they aren’t gender.
I’ll admit personally questioning some things like fairness in cis/trans integrated sports
Don’t. The whole conversation is driven by transphobes trying to use overly simplistic and misleading representations to normalise the exclusion of trans folk as a wedge tactic, before they move on to exclusion in other areas. If you don’t know much about it, it’s impossible for you to have an informed opinion on the subject, and that can lead to a lot of very real harm and exclusion to trans folk.
XX and XY don’t come in to it. You almost certainly don’t know yours, just like most people don’t. They assume them based on sexual characteristics. Which is to say, when “evaluating” someone’s sex, it’s just sexual characteristics that come in to it.
And they change. If you looked at my sexual characteristics, you’d assume I’m XX, but I’m almost certainly not.
And again, the fact that you are placing so much relevance on what sex is and how it’s determined so that you can categorise people according to the rules of that classification? That’s purely social…
It goes to one of my other replies then of what differentiates a ‘boyish woman/tomboy’ from a MTF transgender?
One is cis, one is trans…
It really has nothing to do with identity but more for things like someone who grew up male, with all the associated hormonal traits to that, most specifically testosterone and the typically associated muscle difference transitioning
As I said, if you don’t understand it, don’t get involved, because you end up spouting stuff like this. Content that “makes sense”, but is misleading and used to harm
You don’t understand it, so exactly why do you need to have an opinion on it? The harm done by people who don’t understand a topic, but push for exclusion because it “makes sense” can’t easily be undone. It’s going to take us decades to undo the hurt caused by people driving this conversation. Until you can speak from experience on the topic, just stay out of it, rather than being part of the harm machine
I think it’s more a case of regardless of gender, cis/trans or intersex that just trying to make things as competitively fair as possible is the goal.
No, that’s not the goal of most people having this conversation.
The majority of conversation currently in the media is driven by transphobia, being portrayed as “fairness” to make it palatable.
If it were about fairness, the discussions would be about real world sporting outcomes, and the lack of any evidence showing sustained advantage by trans folk in literally any sport…
But the discussion isn’t focused there, because that wouldn’t support the arguments of the people that are interested in transphobia rather than fairness. Those folk talk about things that can’t easily be tied to real world sporting outcomes, but sound unfair. “Muscle mass”, “bone density” and “testosterone is a steroid” are all examples of that. None of that matters.
The only things that matter, are real world sporting outcomes, and the consequences of excluding incredibly marginalised and vulnerable folk. If the conversation isn’t about either of those things, it’s not a helpful conversation
Ok, to clarify I was speaking for me, not the larger media discussion.
You say that, but the only reason you’re even talking about it is because of larger media discussion, and the things you’re talking about and questioning are the exact talking points raised in the media to drive the exclusion of trans folk.
Steroids in themselves are a synthetic testosterone so it seems fair to compare the differences between cis men vs steroid users and the levels found in trans women vs cis women
“It seems fair…” is the problem.
If it were unfair, it would lead to systemic advantage by trans people in sports, but trans people under perform compared to their cis peers. There are less trans people at every level of sport than you would expect given their participation number. If there were advantage, you would expect to see over representation at higher levels for their participation levels, not under representation.
Which is exactly my point. You jump to “steroids” and “seems unfair” because it sounds reasonable. But it’s not. And as a result, you’re empowering the conversation that leads to the harmful exclusion of trans folk from community sports, and to the visibility of trans role models for young trans folk.
By all means, if you can enlighten me on how long or if that ever happens I’d like to hear it
I just did, and you skipped over it, without acknowledging it, to talk about a topic I explicitly flagged as a side issue used to muddy the waters.
There is no evidence of trans folk having sustained advantage in any sport at any level. Trans people are under represented at every level, even after accounting for their reduced participation numbers.
Lets say I was raised on an island of men. I had no idea of the concept of women, and all of the people I’d ever seen were male.
In this world, clearly, my self perception would be different. I wouldn’t have a crystalised identity, I wouldn’t be able to tell you my gender. What I would have, is a life long discomfort that I could never identity or address. My body would have been wrong, but I couldn’t have told you why. I’d have been different to the men all around me, but I couldn’t have told you how.
It’s similar to how I processed my trans identity before I had exposure to trans people or and understanding that transition was a thing.
The Toombul demolition has begun!
I guess we won’t be ordering from the McDonald’s drive-thru any time soon!...
Regarding The Hyprland & Vaxry Situation (www.youtube.com)
Just putting this here cause I found it a good overview of a pretty confusing situation I had no prior knowledge about
Yes, Social Media Really Is a Cause of the Epidemic of Teenage Mental Illness (www.afterbabel.com)
Lemmy.World federation is on the fritz again
/c/news@lemmy.world is the second biggest community on Lemmy.World and yet on /0, there is nothing newer than two days....
Explicit Sync support has been merged into KWin! (invent.kde.org)
What thoughts/memories did you have before coming out, in hindsight, are big signs you were trans?
I feel that I should preface this by warning questioning people that looking for signs is generally not a good way to find out if you’re trans. Different people experience being trans in different ways....
I don't enjoy it when people compliment me. Why could it be?
Not to brag but I’m a pretty confident person in my social circle. I’m funny, make people laugh etc. etc....
Who you are vs. Who you like?
There have been similar posts in the past and you all might be tired of commenting on them, but I’m really curious what it’s like for others. So here I am posting my own question thread....
Nothing to do with ADHD, just relatable... (lemmy.world)
I miss having a women’s community where we can post relatable memes - I haven’t found anything like that on lemmy yet. So here goes nothing!
Ally in training... (lemmy.socdojo.com)
Hey all,...
Scooter numbers to climb as Lime prepares Brisbane return (www.brisbanetimes.com.au)
Cryptocurrency Tipping on Lemmy & The Fediverse Could Be Implemented (socialmedia.dance)
So, I did the thing. I'm now one of you
Installed Arch this weekend. My transition is now complete :P
What's your story?