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starman2112

@starman2112@sh.itjust.works

He/Him Jack of all trades, master of none

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starman2112,
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Imagine spending 40 billion dollars on one of the most recognizable brands in history, so deeply embedded in the public consciousness that any other company would throw virgins into a volcano for a chance at that level of recognition, just to replace all of that branding with your own little name that everyone has been telling you sounds stupid for the last 25 years

starman2112,
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A monk told Joshu, “I have just entered the monastery. Please teach me.”

Joshu asked, “Have you eaten your rice porridge?

The monk replied, “I have eaten.”

Joshu said, “Then you had better wash your bowl.”

At that moment the monk was enlightened.

The moral of the story: do your fuckin dishes you dirty slob

starman2112, (edited )
@starman2112@sh.itjust.works avatar

Guys this took me way too long to transcribe but I could not go without posting it. wizardlyghost wrote that shit in iambic pentameter. This is the first time I’ve ever seen someone use iambic pentameter when imitating Shakespeare, and they did it fucking flawlessly

ETA Y’all magpiecrown illustrated this and it’s the best

starman2112,
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Imagine you’re a bartender, and every time someone orders a shot, you have to take one too. One? Totally fine. Two? No problem. A hundred? You’re gonna want a bucket (or a lead shield) to dump that shot (or radiation) in

starman2112,
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And this is not even beginning to touch content and features from other released versions of these games from 20 years ago not present, like four-screen splitscreen."

It’s so cool and amazing that we finally have home theatre systems in every fucking house, and that’s when devs decided we don’t get split screen anymore. Modern hardware is wasted on modern devs. Can we send them back in time to learn how to optimize, and bring back the ones that knew how to properly utilize hardware?

starman2112,
@starman2112@sh.itjust.works avatar

Judge Adam Michelini slammed Monahan in court, saying

NO HE DIDN’T. He SLAMMED Monahan by giving a calm milquetoast “what you did is awful and you should feel ashamed” statement? I wanna see a judge suplex a motherfucker before I see the word SLAM used in this context again

starman2112,
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Hating both is the only based take. All billionaires are evil, even if you really really like their music.

You’re fuckin dreaming if you think this silly airplane meme is equivalent to the hate we send Musk’s way all the time, constantly

starman2112,
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Look it’s totally normal for it to curve a little bit okay

starman2112,
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Oh Christ. You’ve just triggered a premonition in me–the Galaxy S32 Ultra will be the first smartphone with no physical buttons or ports. You can turn it “off,” but that will only turn on a sort of extreme power saving mode. It will still ping your location once every few minutes, and will keep the fingerprint scanner active. You will “turn on” the device by holding your finger on the fingerprint scanner for four seconds. They will advertise the “quick startup” as a new feature. Volume will be controlled by sliding your finger along the right edge of the phone, which the screen will wrap around all the way to the back. It will be impossible to hold the phone without touching some part of the screen.

It will only allow wireless charging. You will not be able to connect it directly to a computer. In marketing, this will be to meet rigorous water safety standards. In reality, this will be to prevent you from using ADB to remove apps that come with the phone. You cannot turn off mobile data. You cannot turn off location. You cannot use a third party SMS application. You cannot choose your own wallpaper. You cannot set a private DNS. You cannot install applications that haven’t been approved by Samsung. You cannot block ads. This is all covered on page 74 of subsection 32(a) of section G8 of the terms and conditions that you agreed to when you set up the phone.

They will meet the physical limitations of how well a small lens can focus light. Zoom will cap out at 150x. Nevertheless, there will be seven cameras.

starman2112,
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See the problem is that you let a display device connect to the internet

starman2112,
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>dishes go in dirty

>dishwasher yells and shakes for a few hours

>dishes come out clean

Are you guys really buying this?

starman2112, (edited )
@starman2112@sh.itjust.works avatar

True Strike

You extend your hand and point a finger at a target in range. Your magic grants you a brief insight into the target’s defenses. On your next turn you gain advantage on your first attack roll against the target provided that this spell hasn’t ended.

Literally the only way to make the worst spell worse

“That guy 👉 is holding a shield”

starman2112,
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Fun fact! Drugs (at least pot) make you think you’re more creative, but they don’t actually make you more creative! It turns out, being inebriated just makes you more easily impressed by things

starman2112,
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Fun fact! Human is the only meat that can be vegan!

And uhh, there are plenty of people that would consent to a vampire sucking their blood

starman2112,
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So future versions of the engine will still have these awful price changes? Why would anyone start using them then? Seems like if you have a choice, it’s time to learn a different engine anyway

starman2112, (edited )
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Ah, I remember when I thought voting third party would matter. Hey kids. Take it from someone who voted for Johnson in 2016. I get that voting strategically fucking sucks, and you want to make your voice heard, but it is not worth getting Donald Trump elected just to be part of the 3% that said “I don’t like either of these people.” With any luck, third parties won’t give the presidency to republicans next year, and one or two supreme court justices will die or retire in the next five years, allowing us to start repairing our rights. Because justices nominated by Biden will suck, but justices nominated by Trump (or God forbid, Desantis) will suck in the same ways and much, much worse.

starman2112,
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I read in another thread on a other website that the original poster of this picture had some sort of liver disease and was dying from it, and sorta went YOLO at the chance to pick up a blue ringed octopus. They knew how dangerous it was, but for once the phrase “it will hurt the whole time you’re dying” was met with “it already is”

Justin Roiland used his ‘Rick and Morty’ fame to pursue young fans, text messages show (www.nbcnews.com)

In the years following the 2013 debut of Adult Swim’s cartoon phenomenon “Rick and Morty,” its star and co-creator Justin Roiland became a titan of the animation and video game industry and a rock star of youth counterculture. His artistic style and caricatures became ubiquitous in cannabis culture, and his career expanded...

starman2112,
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“Young” could be misinterpreted as 18. “Underage” is the right word.

starman2112,
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Poor guy doesn’t even know what he did wrong :(

starman2112,
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Motherfucker did not just say “a little date rape”

starman2112, (edited )
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Imagine if the pigs had just, like, bought those kids shoes. You know, improve the lives of other people

Sincerely, not just a quote or a meme, fuck the police.

This just in! It wasn’t just the cops it was also NORFOLK FUCKING SOUTHERN!

The good news is that they dropped the burglary charges. The bad news is that they’ve instilled a distrust in police among the black community for at least another generation.

What are some commonly known facts that are too bizarre for you to believe to be true?

For me it is the fact that our blood contains iron. I earlier used to believe the word stood for some ‘organic element’ since I couldn’t accept we had metal flowing through our supposed carbon-based bodies, till I realized that is where the taste and smell of blood comes from.

starman2112, (edited )
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Planets and stars and galaxies are there. You can see them because they’re right over there. Like, the moon is a big fucking rock flying around the earth. Jupiter is even bigger. I see it through a telescope and think “wow that’s pretty,” but every once in a while I let it hit me that I’m looking at an unimaginably large ball of gas, and it’s, like, over there. Same as the building across the street, just a bit farther.

The stars, too. Bit farther than Jupiter, even, but they’re right there. I can point at one and say “look at that pretty star” and right now, a long distance away, it’s just a giant ball of plasma and our sun is just another point of light in its sky. And then I think about if there’s life around those stars, and if our star captivates Albireoans the same way their star captivates me.

And then I think about those distant galaxies, the ones we send multi-billion dollar telescopes up to space to take pictures of. It’s over there too, just a bit farther than any of the balls of plasma visible to our eyes. Do the people living in those galaxies point their telescopes at us and marvel at how distant we are? Do they point their telescopes in the opposite direction and see galaxies another universe away from us? Are there infinite distant galaxies?

Anyway I should get back to work so I can make rent this month

If I point my finger at one of those galaxies, there’s more gas and shit between us within a hundred miles of me than there is in the rest of the space between us combined

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