I can wear a dress to work and nobody criticizes me. I’d be really sad if I had to wear pants all the time, they’re just not as comfortable. Let’s normalize pretty dresses for dudes!
Speaking as a UX designer, probably because some "product manager" decided it was too expensive to override the auto- sort that was applied before the designer was brought in to "pretty things up."
There is no tone of bitterness in my comment, honestly there isn't.
Haha! Exactly! I do some coding, too, but I can't think like a UXer and a dev at the same time.
It's the "making it pretty" part that makes me bitter. That is the LEAST part of what we do.
It's like asking an architect to come in and fix the building after it's already mostly built. Bad PMs insist on seeing us like interior decorators, but we are primarily architects.
This is anecdotal, but I've loved animals my entire life. I was going to be a vet, but changed careers because my internship made me afraid it would ruin my love of animals.
I've had a very rough twenty years. I was married to a man who turned out was abusive to animals, so I gave up my dream of having pets. When I bucked my entire culture to divorce him, I fought my way back to enough financial security to own them again.
My first pet was 5 when I got him. I had three years of his endless health problems, but I loved him and he died. Then I got a couple of puppies and I love them, but...I don't think I'll own any more dogs. Dealing with other pet owners has been a nightmare. Off leash, poorly trained, outright dangerous dogs everywhere.
But even more to the point, I'm a terrible owner for them. I'm allergic, so I only play with them before my shower. And my mental health has me barely able to function some days. And I'll never be able to own the property they need to truly flourish. They deserve better than me. So I agree. Poor mental health can be exacerbated by pet ownership.
I love cats, but I'm even more wildly allergic to them. I not allergic to horses and to sheep, and that's about it. But it takes more than a wish to own either of those.
AITA for ripping up wildflowers and stirring up the Karen brigade?
I'll try to keep this short. A local dog park has three areas, two of which are for large/ active dogs. The front area is watered, grass, and maintained. The back area is gravel, and the weeds are allowed to grow at will. This part of the park is surrounded by empty fields on three sides, so the weeds are plentifully available.
Some of these weeds are wild sunflowers, which I enjoyed until my dog got stabbed by the dried up stems last year. One stab wound was 12 inches deep, running along the inside of her skin and over the muscle and bone. You could see her ribs in the gash. That was about $800 to fix. The second was more superficial, so I treated it myself. That second time was when I realized what caused the injury.
So this year, not wanting any dogs to be injured again, I started slowly ripping up the seedlings as they came in. No one has ever asked me about it.
This morning, there was a red marker laminated sign hole punched and zip tied to the fence saying "Please don't pick the sunflowers, other people enjoy them."
I laughed it off, and grabbed a couple more sprouts as I was picking up my and others' dogs' poop. A woman passing by said to me "did you see the sign?"
I said "yes, it's hilarious," and explained why I was removing them.
She said "well, MY dogs enjoy them."
I'm a bit slow on the uptake, but as she walked away, I realized it must have been her and this other old lady at the park that I've had situations with before. The other lady started taking pictures or video of me and my dogs.
There are no policies or laws posted against what I'm doing that I know of. I reached out to the park office this morning to ask if I should stop, so hopefully they will hear my message and I'll get some info from them.
In the meantime, am I a raging AH? It never occurred to me that people would get upset about removing a hazard like that until this "confrontation."
As a victim of domestic violence who has spent years online trying to help other victims, Reddit's act of undeleting several of my deleted comments just made me have to go through and manually delete. In the process, I had to relive a huge chunk of trauma.
No, some of my restored comments had been removed years ago because they were too identifying to leave out there, once the purpose of support was accomplished.
So, the Karen came after me again today, AND I heard from the park people.
She came after me twice, screaming about committing a felony and police calls and having me on video. I told her to stop harassing me and to leave me alone, I also mocked her to the extent of my morning brain's capacity.
Spoiler: she didn't leave me alone.
An animal control officer got back to me, and after the required transfers and telling my ridiculous story multiple times, was told that they have no idea which government body is supposed to be in charge of setting the rules.
However, the park office team that maintains it said nothing but gravel is supposed to be in that area of the park, and they have entered a work order to officially remove ALL the weeds.
So now there will be no more sunflowers, fox tails, thistles, or other weeds. Super big win, because I couldn't pull all the fox tails myself.
The park office will get back to me after the holiday with any info they can dig up about who actually sets the rules for that particular park, but the issue is as settled as it is going to get.
The official on the phone said she hopes that having an official team remove all the weeds will get the Karens to leave me alone, and the animal control officer said if she comes after me again to not hesitate to call dispatch for harassment. I did snap a pic of the sign and of her license plate, in case I end up skewered in a ditch somewhere.
Hopefully I have properly applied the metaphorical blood on my lintel, and the Weed Avenger can pass by and leave me alone henceforth.
I was responding to someone and spent a long time typing this out, then thought it might be helpful to modify and post here.
Your ex may not have to expressly agree to things. If you're running ragged trying to force an agreement, you may still be owning too much of this. Talk this over with a lawyer before doing it, but you might want to try applying gray rock.
First, you need to realize that you are not responsible for coming to an agreement.
Think about that one for awhile. You have no obligation to do any more work than he does to come to an agreement.
That means that all that effort and running around, trying to make him make decisions is wasted effort. He's got you dancing like a puppet on strings, predictably using whatever power he has to control and manipulate you.
He's loving it.
Of course he is. Remember, they don't want relationships, they want control. He's getting fed, fat and happy off of sucking your energy and watching you wear yourself out.
So pore carefully over the requirements of your agreement. Look for ways to do what's in there and nothing else.
There are a few types of decisions you have to make, and I'll use the two main ones to illustrate.
A school needing parent chaperones is a perfect example of the first. This is a decision that is time sensitive, but not crucial.
Yes, they need chaperones. Pass that information on to him (better if you can just get him added to the email list.) Ignore it from there. If you can chaperone, great, go help out. If not, don't worry about whether or not he can. The worst that can happen is you both sign up to chaperone. If so, let your kid go with him and have fun with the kids you end up with. Operate in a parallel universe from his.
Don't sweat the small stuff. It's (almost) all small stuff.
Another kind of decision is that which is crucial and time sensitive. Say you have to choose a school for a child to go to, and he has to agree.
First, make sure that you communicate through a documentation app like OurFamilyWizard.
Second, give the information like you would a business proposal. If possible, narrow options down to two you can live with. Then outline your recommendation, and attach a time to answer before he chooses your recommendation by default. (Sometimes I recommend the opposite of what I actually want, but only if the two options are genuinely the same to me. That's a risky game and requires a careful hand.)
Like this: "[School] requires enrollment by [date]. This would benefit [child] because [reasons, bulleted list].
"In order to fill out the paperwork, I need to know if you support [child] going to [school] by [date]. If I don't hear from you by then, I will assume you agree to have them attend.
"Let me know if you have any questions."
Now you have timeboxed him with reasonable expectations. If he later wants to go to court over it, he's going to look like a fool trying to argue that you're not involving him.
I feel sorry for men who have to wear pants
I can wear a dress to work and nobody criticizes me. I’d be really sad if I had to wear pants all the time, they’re just not as comfortable. Let’s normalize pretty dresses for dudes!
Is jellyfish vegan?
They don’t have a brain really and kinda just float there. Do they even feel pain?
I wonder why rule (lemmy.blahaj.zone)
Alphabetically sorted months. But WHY? (lemmy.ml)
Pets do not significantly benefit the emotional health of owners with severe mental illness, study shows (phys.org)
Paper: www.cabidigitallibrary.org/doi/…/hai.2023.0027
Rant: I hate the term “normie”.
Posted this in a small community, curious to know what everyone here thinks....
X-Seed 4000 - The tallest building ever designed but was "never meant to be built" (en.wikipedia.org)
What misconceptions do you wish didn't exist about a group you belong to?
After reading the umpteenth rage-filled diatribe about a group I care about and belong to, I wanted to hear others' experiences dealing with bigotry.