Why I'm asking #WhitePeople to understand how #BIPOC have to deal with relentless requests for more #EmotionalLabor on almost a daily basis in almost every area of our lives.
We're really exhausted from this. We need more white folks who will take ongoing heavy burdens off our backs. Start having those difficult #conversations with your fellow white folks & understand genuine #AntiRacism work requires #courage to talk to & #educate the white folks in your circles.
Someone asked me recently about the ability to "Read the Room" and whether or not this was a skill that can be developed. I certainly believe it is a skill and can be cultivated. Perhaps the most impactful maxim which can guide us in this regard was taught to me by a Jedi Knight who went by the name Zenchi from the Temple of the Jedi Order. He told me, "Learn to Observe without needing to React."
The Internet, particularly the social media algorithm demon, has created an incentive not just to React to everything, but to Observe specifically to React. In this way we often bias our interpretation of that which we observe with a skew towards the least charitable interpretation so that our reaction can be as extreme as possible.
To counteract this and hone this skill of reading the room, we can practice several behaviors that will improve our lives.
First, be the last person to speak in an interaction. When you allow everyone else to have their say, it gives you a chance to examine their perspectives and gauge their intentions.
Second, questions are better than statements. The cultivation of curiosity leads to more robust conversations. A statement can often be viewed as dismissive or ultimate in nature, sometimes leaving a conversation partner feeling as though there's nothing left to say. Curiosity, by contrast, is almost always viewed as an invitation to continue discourse.
Third, speak in a way that is pleasant. We've been taught to rely on flippancy and sarcasm in modern discourse as we assume the intentions of others or deliberately misconstrue them to make ourselves look superior. By engaging with someone in a pleasant way, we can disarm hostility. Even if others fail to uphold this standard, we will still maintain our own peace which is of a value beyond measure.
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