@Colin@fluffy.family
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

Colin

@Colin@fluffy.family

I am an anxious, ginger, domestic short-haired cat in the UK.
I am a paramedicat.

Testimonials:
Landlord of the pub next door, "I sometimes see an orange cat in the carpark, but when we try to stroke him, he runs away."
Friend, "We just saw Colin snuffling in the heroin bush like a truffle hunting pig."
Paramedic, "Does he want to ride along on our shift or be our mascot at the station?"

Header: Colin is standing on a pavement
Avatar: Colin shouting.

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

Colin, to animals
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

Eric is misusing my tree! This will be a bit of a thread because it was highly upsetting.

Eric, a fluffy black and white cat, in a cat condo on a cat tree. His head is visible out of the round window, his black tail is hanging out of the arched doorway.
Eric, a fluffy black and white cat, is in a cat condo on a cat tree. His front paw is sticking out of the round window, his head and a paw are visible through the arched doorway
Eric, a fluffy black and white cat, is in a cat condo on a cat tree. A front paw is sticking out of the round window, his belly and other 2 back paws are visible through the arched doorway.

Colin,
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

He attacked my tree in an unseemly manner. 2/4

Eric, a black and white cat, is playing in a cat condo on a cat tree. He leans out of the window to attack a hanging ball, tries to kick it with his hind legs and partially falls out of the door. After a bit of scrabbling about, he makes it back into the condo.

Colin,
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

Then he attacked me when I came to tell him off. I had gone to inform the humans of his misbehaviour, but they thought it was funny so I had to intervene myself. 3/4

Eric, a black and white cat, is in the cat condo part of a cat tree with Colin, an orange cat, sitting on the floor. Colin goes to mount the tree, but gets a couple of punches from Eric above.

Colin,
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

When the humans left the room, a minor scuffle may have occurred. I was victorious. I am now going around the tree checking for damage. 4/4

Colin,
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

@ExtraPenguin he kicked my tree several times and punched me. This is an outrage.

Colin, to Cat
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

Eric is not using the radiator bed correctly.

thepoliticalcat, to random
@thepoliticalcat@mastodon.social avatar

deleted_by_author

    •
    Colin,
    @Colin@fluffy.family avatar

    @thepoliticalcat :ablobcatheartsqueeze: healing purrs. Sometimes there is no reason for the panic and that's OK. I would recommend a good old fur explosion, but you humans don't have enough to be effective.

    Colin, to animals
    @Colin@fluffy.family avatar

    I have been groomed! The outrage. I am not Eric. I am quite capable of keeping myself clean and do not need human assistance.

    I got very angry and verbally abused the preferred human :blobcathissing:

    Colin,
    @Colin@fluffy.family avatar

    @Catawu I had seeds! She removed the seeds, which was horrific, but I was pleased when they were gone. However, she then attacked me with the flea comb because it's Spring.

    Colin,
    @Colin@fluffy.family avatar

    @Catawu She still does the horrible on the neck stuff, but sometimes, if I look itchy, she'll attack me viciously with the nasty comb as well. I have white things in my fur, which she thought were eggs, but the more she combed, the more appeared, so she now thinks I have dandruff/irritated skin.

    Colin,
    @Colin@fluffy.family avatar

    @Catawu she said something about salmon oil, but it sounds a bit suspicious to me. I think she is planning on poisoning my food again.

    Colin,
    @Colin@fluffy.family avatar

    @thepoliticalcat @Catawu Do you think? She was giving me churu with added fish oil, but I've decided I don't like churu any more, even when presented on a plate. I leave it for Eric now.

    Colin,
    @Colin@fluffy.family avatar

    @thepoliticalcat @Catawu the tall one thinks my skin problem is due to a decade of living in a highly stressed state and I should calm down.

    Colin,
    @Colin@fluffy.family avatar

    @thepoliticalcat @Catawu my skin is itchy so how can I be calm.

    Colin,
    @Colin@fluffy.family avatar

    @Catawu @thepoliticalcat Churu is like a fishy puree treat. Today, after your advice, I ate it all, but only after it was presented to me in my favourite bowl.

    Colin,
    @Colin@fluffy.family avatar

    @thepoliticalcat @Catawu Eric also hates baths. The other week, he got poo on his feet and smeared it all over the human bed. The preferred human washed his feet, only his feet, but ended up looking like she'd done battle with a tiger in a waterfall. Eric went completely feral!

    Colin,
    @Colin@fluffy.family avatar

    @Catawu @thepoliticalcat The preferred human likes churros. When they abandon me starving for weeks to go to something called "Foodie Friday", there is a churros stand that does a vegan chocolate dip. This pleases the preferred human very much.

    Colin,
    @Colin@fluffy.family avatar

    @Catawu @thepoliticalcat the PH doesn't know if you can access the first link over there. You might be able to deceive it into thinking you are over here somehow.

    It looks like a nightmare for cats, but the older humans like it. The tall one doesn't go often. I shout at the PH when she comes home for abandoning me without food while she's been eating all the nice things.

    https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/p0hl983w

    https://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/local-news/gallery/pictures-foodie-friday-stockport-market-9582008

    thepoliticalcat, to random
    @thepoliticalcat@mastodon.social avatar

    deleted_by_author

    •
    Colin,
    @Colin@fluffy.family avatar

    @thepoliticalcat how are his teeth? Sneezing is highly unpleasant.

    Colin,
    @Colin@fluffy.family avatar

    @thepoliticalcat Oh good. I have bad teeth and if I refuse to allow toothbrushing, it makes me sneeze a lot and I don't like it.

    Colin, to animals
    @Colin@fluffy.family avatar

    Eric says his tail is completely normal and mine is too small.

    Colin,
    @Colin@fluffy.family avatar

    @thepoliticalcat thanks. :ablobcatheartsqueeze:

    Colin, to animals
    @Colin@fluffy.family avatar

    I'm giving the man a pointless hug. Look how happy I'm making him.

    Colin,
    @Colin@fluffy.family avatar

    @thepoliticalcat no, he did not. He fell asleep and started making that annoyingly loud purring noise that sleeping humans make.

    Colin,
    @Colin@fluffy.family avatar

    @thepoliticalcat quite frequently. I think it is the healing purrs.

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