@Stoned_Deva_@mas.to
@Stoned_Deva_@mas.to avatar

Stoned_Deva_

@Stoned_Deva_@mas.to

crocs enthusiast, girl mom, cat lady
#ADHD #TeamOrca

https://justmytoots.com/Stoned_Deva_@mas.to

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Stoned_Deva_, to random
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Raining balls here, lost power, under a tornado watch...

The news: "Take cover!"

*Me going out to rescue my plants

Stoned_Deva_, to random
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My therapist said I need a hobby that gets me out of the house. So, next week's session will be at her office.

Stoned_Deva_, to random
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Big day tomorrow... can't sleep.

Can't sleep... gonna fuck up big day tomorrow. Classic conundrum

Stoned_Deva_, to random
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Happy Mother’s Day, Mom. Sorry I raised the bar so high for all your other kids.

Stoned_Deva_, to random
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I'd be lost without people on Nextdoor posting about local anomalies like, "Anyone noticing an increase of fruit flies/gnats in the house?"

Stoned_Deva_, to random
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Sorry I missed your call. I actually heard it ring, picked up my phone to answer but then saw it was you

Stoned_Deva_, to random
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“Just checking on you.”

Translation: Still don't want a relationship, but don't forget I'm DTF

Stoned_Deva_, to random
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How I'd like to respond: I hope this email thumps you in the nads for sending me this bullshit on a Friday afternoon.

My actual response: Thanks for reaching out. I'd be happy to assist.

Stoned_Deva_, to random
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You're apolitical... how convenient. Well, I'm aswiping left.

Stoned_Deva_, to random
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The older I get, the more impossible it is to open anything that's childproof. And though I may've sprained my thumbs in the process, these gummies were worth it.

Stoned_Deva_, to animals
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Guard kitty on duty

Stoned_Deva_, to random
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My score

Stoned_Deva_, to random
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Will taking a long lunch to shop for plants cure my depression? Maybe not, but it's worth a try.

Stoned_Deva_, to random
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My daughter's friend shared this in their group chat with "Let's Get Arrested!" I'm terrified that my kid will be shot with a rubber bullet, and then I'll suddenly become a cop killer.

Stoned_Deva_, to random
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Who's up reading the news and losing their mind?

Stoned_Deva_, to random
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Some of y'all change instances like you're changing underwear ffs

Stoned_Deva_, to random
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Use me up, let me down. Rinse and repeat.

Stoned_Deva_, to random
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The beautiful Egyptian cotton bedspread I ordered weeks ago and was so looking forward to has been destroyed by my cat on the very first night. It's my fault. I feel like an idiot for thinking I can have nice things.

How's your morning going?

Stoned_Deva_, to random
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Can't wait til Wind Day and Fire Day!

Stoned_Deva_, to random
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Went to a different app to still not understand wtf you're saying

Stoned_Deva_, to random
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Call from Dad: Hey, I'm at Ulta. What's the name of that lipstick Mom forgot at your place?

Me: It's called "whatever she's paying you, it's not enough."

Stoned_Deva_, to random
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How many HDMI cords, allen wrenches, exacto knives, leftover screws & bolts from every piece of furniture you've ever assembled, power cord converters, etc should one person own?

My ADHD brain: The sky's the limit.

Stoned_Deva_, to random
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Happy Selena Day! 💃

Stoned_Deva_, to random
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When you work from home, every day is .

Stoned_Deva_, to random
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Put myself "out there" so often that I'm now hurdling into space

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