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Stoned_Deva_, to random
@Stoned_Deva_@mas.to avatar

Raining balls here, lost power, under a tornado watch...

The news: "Take cover!"

*Me going out to rescue my plants

Stoned_Deva_, to random
@Stoned_Deva_@mas.to avatar

My therapist said I need a hobby that gets me out of the house. So, next week's session will be at her office.

Stoned_Deva_, to random
@Stoned_Deva_@mas.to avatar

Big day tomorrow... can't sleep.

Can't sleep... gonna fuck up big day tomorrow. Classic conundrum

airwhale,
@airwhale@mastodon.social avatar

@Stoned_Deva_

Nah, you’ve got this. It will go great, no doubt.

Skepticat,
@Skepticat@mstdn.social avatar

Lizzy! Hope your day has gone just the way you need!!! 🤍
@Stoned_Deva_

Stoned_Deva_, to random
@Stoned_Deva_@mas.to avatar

Happy Mother’s Day, Mom. Sorry I raised the bar so high for all your other kids.

Stoned_Deva_, to random
@Stoned_Deva_@mas.to avatar

I'd be lost without people on Nextdoor posting about local anomalies like, "Anyone noticing an increase of fruit flies/gnats in the house?"

glasspusher,
@glasspusher@beige.party avatar

@Stoned_Deva_ @Skepticat as long as they carry the right babies away, they’re cool with me

Skepticat,
@Skepticat@mstdn.social avatar
Stoned_Deva_, to random
@Stoned_Deva_@mas.to avatar

Sorry I missed your call. I actually heard it ring, picked up my phone to answer but then saw it was you

Stoned_Deva_, to random
@Stoned_Deva_@mas.to avatar

“Just checking on you.”

Translation: Still don't want a relationship, but don't forget I'm DTF

mentallyalex,
@mentallyalex@beige.party avatar

@Stoned_Deva_ sorry everyone is dumb and gross. :blobcathuggiessad:

Stoned_Deva_, to random
@Stoned_Deva_@mas.to avatar

How I'd like to respond: I hope this email thumps you in the nads for sending me this bullshit on a Friday afternoon.

My actual response: Thanks for reaching out. I'd be happy to assist.

DemocracySpot,
@DemocracySpot@mstdn.social avatar

@Stoned_Deva_

Thx for the😂 Lizzy!

Stoned_Deva_, to random
@Stoned_Deva_@mas.to avatar

You're apolitical... how convenient. Well, I'm aswiping left.

Stoned_Deva_, to random
@Stoned_Deva_@mas.to avatar

The older I get, the more impossible it is to open anything that's childproof. And though I may've sprained my thumbs in the process, these gummies were worth it.

qurlyjoe,
@qurlyjoe@mstdn.social avatar

@Stoned_Deva_
Dispensaries should be like drug stores: allowed to give you your gummies in old-arthritic-hands packaging.

Stoned_Deva_, to animals
@Stoned_Deva_@mas.to avatar

Guard kitty on duty

Stoned_Deva_, to random
@Stoned_Deva_@mas.to avatar

My daughter's friend shared this in their group chat with "Let's Get Arrested!" I'm terrified that my kid will be shot with a rubber bullet, and then I'll suddenly become a cop killer.

Skepticat,
@Skepticat@mstdn.social avatar

Oh Lizzy, 😱
Big big hugs.
@Stoned_Deva_

Stoned_Deva_, to random
@Stoned_Deva_@mas.to avatar

My score

DemocracySpot,
@DemocracySpot@mstdn.social avatar

@Stoned_Deva_

Purty! I'm a big Coleus fan! When the leaves get huge! Glad you had your therapy session. 😘

mentallyalex,
@mentallyalex@beige.party avatar

@Stoned_Deva_ I am happy to see them slowly evolve and grow!

Stoned_Deva_, to random
@Stoned_Deva_@mas.to avatar

Will taking a long lunch to shop for plants cure my depression? Maybe not, but it's worth a try.

Stoned_Deva_,
@Stoned_Deva_@mas.to avatar

My happy place

Joshua's Native Plants

Waitnwallflower,
@Waitnwallflower@beige.party avatar

@Stoned_Deva_ might I suggest petunias??

Stoned_Deva_, to random
@Stoned_Deva_@mas.to avatar

Some of y'all change instances like you're changing underwear ffs

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