#PennedPossibilities 85 — MC POV: Tell us a quick love story. The story must end badly. CW: Um, frank talk?
I thought he was dead. The only guy who'd ever had a crush on me. My lieutenant from my days in the mob. He'd been bleeding when I'd shoved him through the /Interstellar/ apparition a year ago. When I'd escaped through the same working ten minutes later, the street it was anchored to in Home City was abandoned—but for Praetorian guards too frantic to notice me because Director Rainy Days had roared through only half a minute before, in full battle mode, without any of her guards.
A year later, Rainy Days cornered me. To convince me to stay, she'd baited her trap with him. She'd made him a cadet in her Praetorian guard, and oh my—my—my, did he look good in that uniform. He stepped up to me, no longer blushing or stuttering, not able to say those words that he liked me. No, he stepped up to be, cupped my chin, and kissed me deeply.
My knees nearly gave out, despite my worst enemy standing less than a dozen standards away from me. My heart racing, I returned the kiss, warming up, and letting him put a hand behind my back.
Rainy Days said something like, "She should get a room."
I stepped back, a hand on my lieutenant's chest. I looked at her in complete shock, but I couldn't think of anything sufficiently sarcastic. I flashed her a hand-gesture instead, then grabbed his head and kissed him back until he moaned. I expected that evening would be sweet.
He fought alongside me against Rainy Days, the strongest thaumaturge to ever live. We nearly died.
That night, after lots of events too numerous to enumerate, and me agreeing to work with Rainy Days as her minion (long story), I had to deal with my roommate. She was the first person I'd acknowledged as a friend since childhood. I had used her in a sting operation to catch a crime boss and for various reasons—including that she had never ever gotten laid because of who her mom is—was bummed out.
I "gave" her my boyfriend to cheer her up.
They took me literally. Loudly, I might add. You'd think an ivory tower would have better sound insulation, but you'd be wrong. I left as soon as I could the morning after as they were still at it.
@ixtlidekami Hey. I remember my cough first time, with my spouse as it turns out. Not sayin' I modeled that on our, ahem, performance then, nope, not sayin' that, however I think the blue pill was just a twinkle in a pharmaceutical magnate's eye back in them thar days. 😇
@ixtlidekami Writing different POVs for the same scene, besides being fun, gave me lots of insight into the "kid." I'm not going to call him fluff, or an airhead, despite him being one is some aspects, because when he's business he's business and thinks on his feet. In his personal time, he's a bit of an ingénue and as earnest as he gawky-attractive. His back story is that he supports his parents (who the prior mob boss made unemployable to secure his rare pyro talents). Until getting his Praetorian guard gig, he was a live-at-home type. He's sharp enough to have figured out what folks 😉 want most from him, though. 😇
You have to know your characters very well and have their unique voice in mind.
Do you ever! Voice in 1st person POV is difficult, and I'm still working on my awareness when writing. I spent three decades writing in 3rd, so I know this still challenges me. I plan to convert an old work written in 3rd person with labeled POV character chapters to 1st person, which I think I can write better. It will be a total rewrite, of course, and since I think that means about ten POVs over three books, this will be a challenge.
Taking my inspiration from light novels and JP lit. 80% of what I write is first person. I keep a little scorecard of the tells for each character. Another 10% is third-person limited.
The characters I have the most trouble with are one's whoare terse.
I once did a story in 1st person omnipotent disguised as 3rd person and revealed my character as a sentient steampunk pirate ship halfway through.
It was a far too ambitious experiment and in my opinion one of the worst things I ever put out in public. It was part of an Otherside Picnic pirate story challenge and I realized I had a disaster on my hands after the first two chapters were already out there.
It was a far too ambitious experiment and in my opinion one of the worst things I ever put out in public.
Bravery in writing will eventually serve you well. IMHO. Getting it out isn't necessarily bad, especially if you can make people understand through meta channels.
I have a story that's a sequel to something well received, but all I've come up with is a very good first chapter. I really want to publish that first chapter because, tho open-ended, it also stands alone as letting the readers project where the story might have gone in I think a satisfying manner. Keep not pulling the trigger on publishing it though. Worried about how it would be received...
Sounds worth putting out there with a small forward and proper tagging so people know in advance what they are getting.
As for my experiment, I learned, careful of how many characters you have and an understanding of why most stories only have 2 main characters. Also if I want to write action pulp, I need to do a lot of work on improving my ability to write fight scenes. Like I said too ambitious. That is three new things I was trying all at once.
The characters I have the most trouble with are one's who['re] terse.
Yeah. Especially if you rely heavily on dialog. In these two POV pieces, they two people see the same scene totally differently, and they could describe about them and what they thought of them with a different perspective. I had to watch their diction and humor didn't intersect. I'm not sure really about reusing "long story" for both. Not sure about making him a bit of a "bimbo" either (and I use that word very advisedly), but it makes the point of how he perceives himself in his society. It's fun to write, tho.
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