Resources for moving out of state or country.

I am hoping to move ASAP and have no idea what I’m doing.

Does anyone have any guidance? I’ve never made much money in my life so I’m nervous about that.

I want to move to the West Coast and know it’s more expensive there. I want to be somewhere LGBT friendly. I like nature and paddle boarding too… So it would be cool to still be able to do that.

I don’t know where to start. When I look for apartments it’s always about …1 or 2 apartments in my price range in an area of hundred of thousands of people.

I’m kind of unsure about looking for a job. I typically suck at interviews and have been the type to prove myself via hard work vs selling myself to an employer. I’m a pretty quiet person and it takes a lot for me to warm up to people and I find this to be a bad trait for employment. Ime it seems social people get picked first regardless of work ethic.

Idk any advice would be great. Like steps to be broken down so I’m not overwhelmed.

I want to avoid areas of crime, and prejudice. I also enjoy people that are down to earth more than what I consider wealth, trend and privilege.

I make about $14.50 right now… lol-fml.

I wish dorm style living was a thing.

Thanks in advance for any info.

Edit: in terms of our of state… I’m thinking Vancouver CA or Toronto. West Coast would probably be Cali, OR or wa.

I’m somewhat open to East Coast south of Maryland.

Also, I’m in my 30s.

darth_helmet,

Save up. Save save save.

Moving is expensive, and any new job is risky to start. The places you’re looking at are expensive because most sane people want to live there.

If you can find a remote job, start there: once you’re a remote worker, you can establish yourself at the job before you move. Once you’re confident that you like the job and aren’t going to get laid off out of nowhere, you won’t have to stress about paying rent while looking for a job in a new place.

Visit a city before committing, make sure it has the vibe you want. Coastal cities all have their upsides and downsides.

LibertyLizard,
@LibertyLizard@slrpnk.net avatar

I would not move across country without a firm job that can cover your expenses. Especially if you have no social network to support you. This is how lots of people become homeless.

So start there, look at where you can find work, maybe make some phone calls, send emails, etc. Then once you have a sense of how much you’ll be able to make you can look at what housing is available to you. But realistically, surviving in expensive places with the amount of money you currently make may be quite difficult. Keep in mind that many of the very lowest cost apartments you see may be scams.

Also, consider looking at some cities closer to home. There may be some pockets of lgbt friendliness in your region that you aren’t considering and they may be lower cost of living. The places you listed are all extremely expensive and not necessarily somewhere you can just move without a plan.

I know everyone hates Reddit here but once you start to narrow things down, it might be helpful to ask specific questions on local subreddits to get input from locals.

scrubbles,
@scrubbles@poptalk.scrubbles.tech avatar

This comment has the best advice. Unless it’s dire need, moving is not in the cards for OP Here.

OP, hard reality check, you do not have the finances to afford a move, let alone living. Take it from me, I live in WA, and even with a decent tech salary it is still incredibly expensive to live here. Hard facts, a cheap apartment in the Seattle area will be over $2,000 a month. We’re talking out of the way, hour commutes into work, it’s a place. Minimum wage is higher here, but not by much. Assume you can get a job at $16/hour that’s 125 hours of work a month dedicated to just rent alone. (Not counting taxes, and of course things like… eating)

Which is, of course, impossible.

To get here alone we spent $8,000 in movers, not counting gas, hotels, and other items to get here. Then if you don’t have work you need several thousand per month for each month you are not working to cover food, rent, etc. I think we spent about $13,000 in total moving across country when it was all said and done.

We also flew out here to see apartments before we moved too, that is also an extra expense, so tack on another 2 grand for flights, hotel, etc.

You need a plan, and not a plan for once you get here but a whole plan. The whole ordeal will be a months long process, and several of those months will be without income. If you are in the spot you claim, then you just simply cannot do it.

I get the drive - the need to move. I grew up in a small town and it was suffocating. It’s not impossible to get out, but it requires a lot more planning then just “I need to move”, which is why I feel for you.

The only steps for now are to start saving. If the drive is real then you’ll be able to save the money. Get a second job. Work overtime. Save every dime to get yourself out. Start building a plan. Working retail out here is possible but it won’t be the dream of moving across country. Maybe look into community college or other ways to learn new skills that would be in demand, that would help move you out because you’d be able to land a job across the country and move for it.

If the drive to move is real, the passion and motivation will be there to accomplish those goals.

Years sounds like an eternity, but if you start today then you can have the realistic goal of “4 years from now I want to be on the West Coast”. That’s accomplish-able. Trust me, I did it, you can too.

themurphy,

About the dorm style living, it’s very much a thing. It’s all over the place where I’m living and I have 4 friends living in different ones right now.

All very open minded and kind people.

ULS,

Where do you live?

Addition,

You like nature, and paddle boarding, and LGBT friendly spaces? Skip the West Coast, come live in the Twin Cities. It’s really nice here, it’s safe, has all the things you’re looking for, and it’s not unfathomably fucking expensive.

The only downside is that winters are cold. Bring a winter jacket.

As others commented, lining up a job is step 1 to any move. That will be be the hard part.

zacher_glachl,

As you freely admit you have no money and seem to have no specific qualifications.

Even with those boxes checked I would never ever consider moving across country without a signed employment contract at the target location. The risks seem insane and completely outsized to me. But if you’re a way, way more adventurous type than me, at the very least you’d need enough savings to keep you off the streets for a few months if you are planning to start job hunting only after moving. Anything less would just be stupid.

Thisfox, (edited )

Job first. Move second. When you know there is a job definitely lined up.

Might be able to go into the mining industry, Perth and surrounds pretty good for that, if you want the isolation of the west coast.

Your current wages sound illegally low, unless you are a minor.

asteriskeverything,

In my experience if you’re only finding one or two apartments in your price range out of a ton…

  1. You can’t afford to live there. Everything costs more. Sales tax, gas, groceries, water, all entertainment, etc
  2. Those places you can afford probably don’t exist or are cheap for a very good reason (bad area/property)

I suggest looking around closer to you or where you have a saftey net or support, then look in those areas. Research the city look for lgbtq events or clubs etc. I hope you find your little haven !

cheesymoonshadow,
@cheesymoonshadow@lemmings.world avatar

I moved to California from Texas with no job and about $300. Was supposed to stay with a friend’s sister in San Diego until I found a job, but promptly got kicked out because apparently her husband cheated on her with a woman who looked like me. :| Luckily I had an aunt 100 miles north who took me in.

I didn’t stay with her long though. OP, just keep in mind that you don’t need to get an apartment of your own – you can just rent a room for much cheaper. That’s what I did for a while until I could finally afford a studio apartment.

DavidDoesLemmy,
@DavidDoesLemmy@aussie.zone avatar

Why would you want to move to the west coast? I assume you mean Perth or Fremantle. It’s so far from everything. East coast is much better. You’ve got Sydney and Melbourne and even Queensland. Tasmania is also nice if you don’t mind some cold winters.

DavidDoesLemmy,
@DavidDoesLemmy@aussie.zone avatar

Unless you can get a job in mining. Then maybe West coast is a good option.

Appoxo,
@Appoxo@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

Wrong country

DavidDoesLemmy,
@DavidDoesLemmy@aussie.zone avatar

OP doesn’t mention their country. What am I meant to assume? That they’re a stupid American?

Thisfox,

Far away from everything, and worse job prospects, and everything more expensive. I can understand them doing that if there was a well paid job waiting for them, but the West Coast doesn’t seem like a good choice with no prospects. Pipe dream.

AlligatorBlizzard,

If you’re willing to look at Toronto, maybe consider Minneapolis St Paul, it’s not that much further north than Toronto. I moved to Minnesota from Florida because I’m queer and I knew things were going to get worse in FL. Check out Queer Housing Exchange Minneapolis St Paul on Facebook to look for roommates, and make sure you have a few months of savings built up while you job search.

pensivepangolin,

No offense, but is this move motivated by a true need to move ASAP? Because this doesn’t really read like it was written by someone in their thirties. Frankly, if it’s not a true need, it doesn’t seem from this post that you’re in a financial position to do this on anything close to a safe manner. And thus: if this is just a desire, no matter how strong the impulse is, it sounds like you need to wait.

I am not trying to be patronizing or condescending: I would just hate to see someone put themselves at the mercy of the world like it seems you may be about to.

krellor,

I've lived on East and West Coast in the US, visited most states and the places you mention in Canada, and I just moved from Washington to Maryland.

Realize that everything you listed as a preference is the same for millions of people. Lots of people like paddle boarding, nature, and the cities you are looking at, so those places are going to be expensive. Without knowing more about your acute needs to move I can only give general advice.

First, don't move without a job lined up or at least a plan in place. Look at college towns including in more states than you listed. They are more liberal on average, and have a baked in supply of people looking for roommates. Even older grad students are looking for roommates and are often quiet.

After that, look for things to minimize costs like public transit. You say south of Maryland, but that covers a whole lot including places with pretty bad public transit.

When you do move make sure you have any vehicle titles or purchase documents as you will need them to get new titles and registration. Update your insurance policy with your new address. Make sure you have your birth certificate, social security cards, and photo id so you can get a place to live and get your new state id. Make sure you know what it costs to do all of that (likely hundreds on the title, registration, new id). Even more if you don't have one of the necessary documents and you have to pay a notary to send a form to get a new title mailed to you.

Look at room mate apps or sites to potentially vet a low cost place you can move into more quickly than getting your own place and going through the credit checks and down payments for a lease.

And look at your credit to make sure you don't move just to find that you won't clear the checks they will perform.

Open a bank account at a bank or credit union with branches where you are moving to, or at least part of a no-fee ATM network. E.g., I can get cash from my credit union account without any fees from 7-11 and they are everywhere.

Make sure you have a few blank checks on your wallet for oddball expenses or deposits that don't take cards or have fees to do so. Have a little cash as well.

Once you have a job planned, costs figured out, make a spreadsheet. MAKE A SPREADSHEET! You do not want to move across the country to find that you didn't factor state income tax or vehicle registration costs and suddenly can't make rent. Include all likely costs and see if your budget has some wiggle for miscalculations and other issues.

Make a spreadsheet of all the tasks you need to do. Keep track of them because the details of moving will screw you hard if you don't mind them.

The more money you have while moving, the better you can solve problems. Hard truth for life in general.

If the above sounds overwhelming, then you need to plan all the more carefully.

Make sure you don't make unrealistic assumptions about the culture of where you are moving and get taken advantage of our targeted for violence. Even in the most liberal places there are places and people unfriendly to LGBTQ people. Don't be a victim.

Best of luck and happy to answer questions about specific cities, I've been to many.

TropicalDingdong,

A couple questions.

First, do you look identify as M or F, or other and do you project as such?

Second, other assets? Do you have a vehicle such as a van or truck?

Third, gotta be real, you don’t sound like you can afford an out of country move. However, you might be able to do an out of state thing.

Fourth, how are your camping skills? Ever lived out of a backpack?

Number one, if you are needing to move ASAP, like actually ASAP, remember that it’s cold in January. Moving any where north going to be an issue if you need to stay in your car or the woods for a night. I doubt any one here is going to advocate for it but I’ve done what you are describing more than once. I have to be real with you that the left coast is not the bastion of tolerance it once was. The red states having projected their culture into the rural areas has not been for the better.

That being said however, pockets exist. Check out the following cities: Eugene, Arcata, Bodega Bay, Weed, Olympia, Hood River, Flagstaff, Tucson, Willits, Sedona, Santa Fe, Taos, and Albuquerque. No where is perfect. Every where has issues. Generally speaking, I can vouch from personal experience that the above cities are “alternative lifestyle friendly”, but ymmv.

Your best bet if you need to move now and only have maybe 1-3k in savings would be Albuquerque. It’s cheap, and it’s a gateway to some magical areas. Santa Fe is more expensive and Taos more hippy dippy, but both are much colder. If you are camping or staying in your car, much more difficult.

I was homeless and hung out with the rubber tramps and wing nuts for a few years. Also live out of my car separately, both with and without employment. I’ve hitchhiked most of the western states and pulled an “ok I gotta go” with not much more than a bus ticket more than once. Avoid large cities and suburban areas. They are expensive and the people there are very mean. Don’t discount pockets of LGBT friendly places embedded in larger rural areas. Don’t do drugs (even weed) or drink. Sharing bottles or pipes is how you get the crud and you can’t afford to be sick. If you need to do drugs do your own drugs and don’t share or announce it. It’s mostly about not getting sick because if you get sick in the road, your fucked. Pneumonia under a bridge is not super great.

Going into winter, Southern Arizona or New Mexico would be my pick if I had to leave in January. If you can afford a Greyhound ticket and have some money for an apartment, you could probably afford ABQ. Might cost about a grand to get into a 1 bedroom pieces of shit.

ULS,

Thanks for this… This is more on par with what I expect my experience to be like.

ABQ was my original choice. But have heard that it might not be the best place due to crime. I pretty much have PTSD from that type of stuff.

After doing some research today I also found areas in Ohio seem inexpensive for rent. I saw Dayton on an LGBT friendly list…

I have a small hatchback and plan on only taking what fits. Unless my parents plan on driving out with me but even then it’s just a sedan.

I’m not into hard drugs. But do partake in cannabis. It wouldn’t hurt for me to quit it. But I usually rely on it for sleep/insomnia.

I’ve wandered the homeless camps and areas where I live. Sometimes I feel more at ease with them tbh. But I do not want to be around the lifestyle… I get distracted by street life but I’m not fit for it. It has taught me a lot though. Now I need to put the lessons into action.

Ohio seems like it might be a good bet to start out since it’s closer to home… And probably less of a social culture shock.

Boondocking has always been on my mind although I haven’t done it. Might be a possibility if was to buy a storage unit and a gym pass. Are you able to get a job without an address?

I’m trying to leave by summer.

TropicalDingdong,

I love ABQ. It’s got crime, for sure. But it’s more change than Ohio would be and it’s got real nature. It’s an amazingly beautiful place and I generally as a rule don’t go east of the foothills after Colorado/ West Texas. Flat minded places bring flat minded people.

If your looking for change, change. Go for a real culture shock. It’s the point. Are you interested in staying the same person? Do you want to be someone different? If you aren’t serious about changing, don’t bother. No half measures. If you feeling froggy, leap.

Honestly, I would say you should try to make it to at least New Mex. It gives you access to Co, AZ and UT. It’s a western place, but it’s not crazy expensive and bougie like CO. And unlike OH it’s got real nature and ways you can develop yourselves that don’t cost money.

Also, strong word of advice. Do not overfill the hatchback. Filling your car with stuff is painting a target on your back for break-ins and more importantly cops. Cops the biggest threat you’ll face anywhere.

If AbQ was already on your radar, go that way. I love it and almost moved there again two years ago. Any where with culture gonna have more exposure because that’s where real life and experiences happen. All comes with the territory. Before you do this, decide if you are really serious about changing yourself and your life. If you are, go all the way.

LibertyLizard, (edited )
@LibertyLizard@slrpnk.net avatar

What’s the current situation in Weed like? Shasta county and that area have become a hotbed for far right groups recently. I’m not sure if that specifically applies to Weed though.

TropicalDingdong,

Like I said, ymmv. I went through there 15 years ago.

WeeSheep,

I don’t think you should move to a different country, as citizenship may not be easy nor cheap. It sounds like you are from the US? Southern Oregon, Northern California, Eastern Oregon or Eastern Washington are all good options for cheaper coast of living. I’ve heard of some dorm type living in Seattle, SF too probably. You should not move without a place to move to though and look for jobs in the area you want to move that you can get quickly (grocery/fast food/warehouse) or if possibly have a job ready when you get there. You might look into getting roommates as it would be cheaper than living on your own. Some people will rent out just a room pretty cheap, and set restrictions for when you can use the kitchen. You can do a lot with a toaster oven, microwave, and mini fridge though, space depending. Aside from that, plan your route and pack. If you are driving have places to stay (camp grounds are sometimes free or cheap, national or state forests especially). Plan where you can get showers and do laundry (either hotels, gyms, sometimes camp grounds, sometimes truck stops have showers, laundromats). Have some sort of plan and map where you can stop. There might be apps for people who van or car camp that might be useful.

stewie3128,

SoCal resident here. Cost of living is much, much higher than many less-desirable places, so as others have said, it’s absolutely necessary to have a job to move to before moving here.

Also, the WC states are not homogenous. “Red state California/Oregon/Washington” are as red as Tennessee. There’s a big chunk of extreme northern CA that wants to secede. Same with eastern WA/OR.

Coastal communities are, on the whole, not occupied by narrow-minded DeSantis fans, but that’s not an absolute. The more rural a place, the redder it is.

Sites like Coos Bay are fairly cheap by coastal standards, but there aren’t really any jobs around there, and it isn’t exactly West Hollywood for community life and things to do.

scrubbles,
@scrubbles@poptalk.scrubbles.tech avatar

My God yeah. It’s not like what fox news says. Really you have the city which leans liberal but is pretty moderate. The rest of the state is just as rural and red as Oklahoma.

figjam,

The reverse is also true. Larger cities in red states can be very liberal. Nashville, Columbus, Atlanta.

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